


Initiations

by ashinae, cruisedirector



Series: Animi Causa [1]
Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Alternate Reality, BDSM, Canon Het Relationship, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Dialogue Heavy, Drama, Kink, M/M, Magic, Malfoy Manor, Manipulation, New Orleans, Queer Het, Romance, Rough Sex, Sex Magic, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Travel, Young Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-13
Updated: 2009-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 09:59:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 50,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashinae/pseuds/ashinae, https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruisedirector/pseuds/cruisedirector
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucius Malfoy teaches Severus Snape some things he has always wanted to learn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taboo

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the first half of a longer novel, 'Animi Causa.' Though each chapter here is complete, the entire work was never finished, so some of the transitional material is missing. "Taboo" was written by ashinae, "Belle of the Ball" by cruisedirector. At the time we started writing this, J.K. Rowling had not yet revealed how far apart Lucius and Severus are supposed to be in age.

There was not quite enough light in the Malfoy mansion. Severus had to squint, just a little, to make out details in tapestries and paintings. The large house was richly decorated, the food spicy and exotic, and the rich, snobbish people filling the halls and rooms were wearing their very finest in their attempts to impress the other rich, snobbish people in whom they feigned interest.

Biting into an overly sweet pastry, he thought that he would actually much rather be studying for the Arithmancy test he had the upcoming week. He let his parents talk him out of a Hogsmeade weekend for _this_, when he was running dangerously low on supplies and someone -- he suspected Potter or Black -- had made off with his favorite quill.

He finished the pastry, let out a little sigh, and decided that he had to convince his mother that his seventh year had been so busy so far that he simply could not spare the time to try to make it out of Hogwarts and back over two days. Not, of course, because of the fact that these people were so insipid that he would rather scrub the Prefect's bathroom than spend any more time with them. Honestly, who really cared about all the trivialities and gossip? The rich had far too much time on their hands and oh, Lucius Malfoy was wandering through the room wearing an expression of feigned interest in his parents' party guests. He looked rather like Severus remembered him, except a few years older -- his hair a little longer, but it still caught glints from the flames of any nearby candles, and his robes were exquisitely tailored, flowing around him.

It was like being in second year again, caught up in the throes of a hero-worshipful pre-pubescent crush, watching breathlessly as Slytherin's golden team captain soared above the Quidditch pitch. Severus' insides promptly tied themselves into a knot.

When Lucius began to turn in his direction, Severus felt his face grow warm and he quickly turned and seized the moment when a few people left the room to weave through the crowd and into the hallway. His parents would probably not notice his absence for a while, absorbed as they were in conversation with a couple that Severus was certain that he did not know, and perhaps by the time anyone wanted him, Lucius would have gone off somewhere else.

The large foyer was not as crowded as most of the rooms. There were a few clusters of people scattered about, and a cat lazing on the bottom step of the staircase, watching the people coming and going. Blissfully, there was not a single child present anywhere. Severus walked past the staircase to stand in front of a table up against a wall. On top of it was a small, trickling fountain that he watched for a moment before glancing up at the painting that was watching him. He raised his eyebrows as a woman -- who had the same sleek, pale blond hair that Lucius did -- peered down at him with a look of disdain. Then he sighed again and turned away, leaning against the table.

If his mother caught him leaning on furniture, she would have words to say about it. He could see Lucius again. His mother was always correcting him about his posture, his manners. _How does anyone expect to get anywhere in the world without making an impression on the right members of society_, she often said. The thought floated idly through Severus' mind that Lucius would certainly be a proper member of society upon whom to make an impression. The last time he had seen Lucius had been at another function rather like this one, except that Severus had been in that horrid, ungainly part of adolescence and Lucius had barely paid him a second glance. In fact, few had, and Severus had been left to stand miserably near the food all night, watching Lucius as he did before Lucius had left Hogwarts.

Now Lucius was talking to Severus' parents, which was horribly uncomfortable to watch. There was a certain sense of satisfaction that Lucius could at least pretend some measure of interest in the Snape family. The satisfaction was quickly overshadowed by a slowly mounting feeling of dread that his parents might start talking about _him_. As he pondered whether he knew a good charm to let himself sink through the carpet, he found his eyes drawn from his parents to lovely, bright Lucius.

"Shameless," he heard a woman's disgusted voice from behind him say.

Severus started guiltily, and looked up at the painting behind him. However, the woman's gaze was not on Severus, but rather, on Narcissa Black -- the last he remembered, she had been all the way across the room with her own parents, but it seemed that she has spent a great deal of time slinking her way in Lucius' direction. Her robes revealed a little too much ripe flesh, and she seemed to be preparing to pounce on Lucius the instant he was within reach. But she was quite pretty, Severus grudgingly admitted to himself, if one liked -- well, girls.

"Been acting like she owns the place, that one," the woman said with a sigh. "Utterly shameless."

Perhaps Narcissa Black's behavior was a little shameless, but Severus couldn't help but feel a pang of envy. She shone exactly in the way that Severus didn't, the way that Lucius did, and even if Severus weren't a boy, there was simply no way that Lucius would notice him over Narcissa. He sighed again, looked down, and picked at invisible lint on his robe, his thoughts straying.

Study for Arithmancy. Finish essay for Potions. Practice the charms the class covered last week. Severus looked up again and let his eyes wander. Figure out some way to 'thank' Black and Potter for ruining his Herbology notes beyond salvation -- not that he was going to have much trouble in the class anyway. Lucius was watching him. Pick up a few quills and rolls of parchment next time he was in Hogsmeade. Lucius was --

_Oh._

Severus straightened a little when he realized that Lucius was actually stepping out into the hallway, looking at him. His parents had disappeared into the crowd. The painting was still nattering on about Narcissa, but she was the furthest thing from Severus' mind right now because Lucius fucking Malfoy was _walking his way_.

And he appeared to be sort of, but not really, almost kind of smiling. In his infinite adolescent wisdom, all Severus could do was stand exactly where he was and watch Lucius come towards him.

Lucius' voice was very smooth, and Severus swallowed. "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself."

Remarkably, Severus was able to find his voice. "Oh," he said, "no, it's not that. It's just that it's rather awkward..."

"Being dragged out by your parents to a function where you are surrounded by older people you don't know?" Lucius gave a small smile. "I do understand that. You'll be leaving Hogwarts soon enough, and your mother wants you to have all the _right_ connections."

Severus' horror must have been plainly written on his face, because Lucius suddenly gave a soft chuckle. "No, no, she didn't say that. Or at least, not in so many words. I was in the same position you are, a few years go. Except that I was the host and hostess' son, more often than not, and did not have the luxury of escaping into the hallway. It's far less pretentious out here, isn't it? Most of them don't understand what's _truly_ important in life."

Severus was about to ask what, then, _was_ important, but the painting behind him suddenly launched into a particularly vicious diatribe about someone who has just wandered through the hall. Lucius looked up with a pained expression. "Oh, _do_ be quiet, old woman," he snapped, but she didn't seem to hear him. He looked again at Severus with a vaguely, but not entirely, apologetic expression.

"Great-grandmother Malfoy," Lucius explained. "She quite often doesn't like _anyone_ coming into the house, though she's at her worst -- or best, depending on how you look at it -- when people she doesn't know come in. She assumes they... don't come from the better wizarding families. Of course, considering she's been gone quite some time now, she doesn't know most anyone we know now."

His voice was rather hypnotic, and Severus just found himself nodding, fascinated by the way Lucius spoke, the pale hair, keen eyes. When Lucius said something disparaging about his great-grandmother -- which she couldn't hear because she was still so incensed -- and began to guide Severus through the foyer and up the great staircase, he couldn't muster a single peep of protest.

There was no mistaking the way that Lucius' eyes captured every flicker and nuance of emotion and reaction on Severus' face, that he paid very careful attention to every word that Severus said as they moved along the second-floor hallway, up another staircase, along another hall. No doubt Lucius wanted something, and Severus felt he should _know_ that the questions he was being asked about Hogwarts, about Dumbledore, about Gryffindors and Slytherins and power and even bloody Quidditch -- that these questions were simply not questions asked out of polite curiosity. But damn his own adolescent yearnings because it was difficult enough to formulate proper sentences with the older man standing so close to him all this time.

He thought he would very much like to run his fingers through Malfoy's hair.

And then Lucius was opening a door, and a hand on Severus' shoulder guided him into a large bedroom full of expensive furniture, and rich, dark colors, and his heart leapt into his throat.

Lucius closed and locked the door behind them, then brushed past Severus to sit in a very big, forest green chair. He leaned back, his hands relaxed on the chair's plush arms, and smiled slowly at Severus -- the smile now was certainly genuine, but it was predatory. Hungry.

"Come here," Lucius said, very softly.

Severus nodded, moving forward. His palms felt moist. He nervously wiped them on his robes as Lucius looked up at him. But he kept his chin up, holding Lucius' heated gaze. He might have had no idea how he had managed to get himself in this situation, but there was no way he was going to show any weakness.

It seemed that Lucius approved of this, because his smile broadened. "I want you on your knees," he said.

Severus almost let out an absolutely embarrassing whimper.

Somehow he managed to contain himself, but his face felt hot as he dropped wordlessly to his knees. The carpet was thick and soft, and Lucius' expression was no less predatory now that Severus was kneeling in front of him. But Severus looked up at him unflinching, his heart beginning to pound wildly in his chest. They watched each other for a moment before Lucius raised his eyebrows and finally Severus dropped his gaze, his eyes going to Lucius' robes. "Go on," Lucius urged, his voice soft and smooth and going straight to Severus' groin. He raised hands that were now shaking just slightly and by the time he had Lucius' robes open, he had his hands under control but suddenly he thought he just might be suffocating. Or drowning. Or maybe he was on fire, and Lucius hadn't pointed this out to him yet.

He squirmed a little, then reached out to wrap tentative fingers around Lucius' swelling cock. His eyes darted quickly upwards. He knew from the amused gaze that was returned that Lucius was very aware of his inexperience, and wondered if that was what was exciting the older man. He wondered if he was just another in a long line of virgin conquests, but as he sat on his heels there between Lucius' knees, he realized that, frankly, he just didn't really care.

Seeming to lose a measure of his patience, Lucius reached out and slid his hand to the back of Severus' neck, urging him forward. His fingers were already moving over Lucius' cock, but Severus knew enough to understand that Lucius would never settle for that alone. However, the first tentative touch of his tongue elicited no reaction from above, and that only made his heart pound faster. Would Lucius send him away?

He looked up again, and still, Lucius was merely watching him. But the fingers on the back of his neck tightened, just a little, and that was all the encouragement Severus needed. He trailed the tip of his tongue over the length of Lucius' cock, and felt a heady rush of excitement as he felt it harden more under his touch. His free hand dropped down to the front of his own robes, giving himself a short squeeze, and he just barely bit back a moan.

For several long, delightful moments, Severus contented himself with letting his tongue taste and explore Lucius' cock. He eagerly lapped at the moisture welling at the tip, and he couldn't stop himself from moaning now. Lucius tasted good, so good, and it felt wicked naughty wonderful to have another man's cock under his tongue.

But if Lucius' fingers hadn't reflexively tightened and relaxed on the back of his neck, Severus wouldn't have had any idea that he was giving Lucius any pleasure at all. Then Lucius spoke again, finally, his voice now husky with what Severus could only hope was desire. "Take it in your mouth."

Severus bit the inside of his cheek, feeling nervous again. But the feeling melted away quickly and he gave in, perhaps a little too eagerly. He took as much of Lucius' cock into his mouth as he could, hearing a satisfied sort of moan from above. He pressed his hand against his own greedy cock, rubbing it just a little as he took a moment to let himself _feel_ Lucius. Feel the warm, hard cock in his mouth, against his tongue, let himself think for a brief, careless few seconds that Lucius actually wanted _him_.

Lucius' fingers were tight again, and he shifted his hips, pushing his cock just a little further into Severus' mouth. He withdrew, a little, then pushed forwards again. Then forwards. Again. Again. Severus moaned, rubbing himself shamelessly. Lucius was fucking his mouth. He was suffocating/drowning again, wondering what it would be like to have Lucius fucking him, on his knees on the floor holding his hips making him beg.

Warmth flooded down his thighs as he jerked helplessly for a torturous-sweet moment, nearly choking as Lucius thrust too hard, too deep. Drowning, suffocating, on fire, Severus tried to pull back, but Lucius wouldn't let him. Held him still, close, his cock too much. Too much. Severus' hands reached up, fumbling, grasping the arms of the chair.

And then Lucius was pulling from his mouth, holding Severus still as he came over his mouth and cheek. Severus knelt, trembling, waiting for Lucius to do or say something, licking his lips. Come dripping down his chin. It wasn't long before the hand on the back of his neck moved away, and one finger trailed over his wet cheek, and pressed against his lips. He opened his mouth, accepting the finger.

It was certainly not the most pleasant taste, though not entirely unbearable, but he obediently licked it all from Lucius' finger. Perhaps Lucius had not seen fit to come in Severus' mouth, but he did allow him this, at least, and for now, it was enough. Then Lucius pulled away and leaned back in the chair, his eyes closed.

Severus chewed on his cheek again and did his best to clean himself up with as discreet a part of his robes as he could. When he was finished, he glanced up at Lucius again, who, in turn, was watching him with a wicked grin spread across his face. Severus felt exposed and vulnerable under that gaze, and he was not entirely certain he _didn't_ like it. Then Lucius leaned forward, taking hold of Severus' left shoulder, and whispered hotly in his ear: "Did you come?"

Severus' voice stuck in his throat. Lucius leaned back again, and his grin broadened. Severus squirmed, feeling his own come dripping down his thigh. "Did you?" Lucius asked again. His fingers tightened.

His eyes squeezed shut, Severus nodded. His face was burning. And then he felt Lucius' lips on his ear again. "What a good boy."

There was no use in lying to himself about the fact that he was blushing furiously, but that didn't stop Severus from ducking his head and plucking at more imaginary lint. He heard Lucius make an amused sort of noise, and then there was the rustle of robes. He glanced up as Lucius got smoothly to his feet and fastened his robes again, smoothing out a few wrinkles. Then he swept by, and, at the door, turned to glance at the boy still kneeling on the carpet.

"Are you going to stay there all night? I imagine your parents will start to wonder where you've been." Another expression that rather resembled a smile crossed Lucius' face. "And what you've been up to."

Certainly, the last thing Severus needed was to have his parents questioning his whereabouts. He hastily performed the scourgify charm on himself, got up and ran his hands down the front of his robes and joined Lucius on the way out of the bedroom.

Within a few minutes, Severus was again standing near the fountain under the portrait of great-grandmother Malfoy, and Lucius was once more a bright spot amongst the pretentious, boring guests the Malfoys had invited to their manor.

Severus could not stop himself from smiling as he watched Narcissa Black sidle up to Lucius and strike up a conversation. He might have been more actively interested in her than he was in any of the others, but she was not the one that Lucius had chosen that night.

And there was a great deal of satisfaction in knowing that Miss Black had no idea that the dark, quiet teenager, standing by himself in the hallway -- the one for whom she hadn't even afforded a sneer -- was the one Lucius had taken up to his bedroom. Though not into his bed, but there never had been much hope of that in the first place.

Severus knew that there was no way he would be sharing the details of the taboo encounter, but there was something intensely sweet about knowing something that no one else did. It was his little secret, and he would guard it jealously -- until the time when, just maybe, Lucius would invite him upstairs again.


	2. Initiation

Lucius Malfoy had a certain way of owning every room he walked into, of commanding the attention of everyone around and making it seem that this was the most logical response to his presence. Severus wondered if this was something Lucius had learned how to do over time or if it was simply ingrained. One could think that being born into the Malfoy family was enough to give Lucius this quality, but Severus had met Malfoy Senior and was not quite as impressed by him as he was by the man's son.

Seldom did Lucius' outward demeanor ever change, despite whatever circumstances he seemed to be in. Sometimes he let through the tiniest flickers of annoyance, smugness, amusement or condescension, but very little else.

At that very moment, he was enduring Severus' tirade with little more than a vaguely arched eyebrow.

"I am not your whore!" Severus snapped. "'Whore' implies that I fuck other people for you. I only fuck you. I don't expect you to dignify what you do to me by saying that I'm your lover but do you think you could come up with something that isn't bitch, slut, or whore?"

The corner of Lucius' mouth quirked. "I suppose 'fuck-toy' is out of the question, then?"

Severus made a show of pretending to ponder this. "Hmm. Is it better to be thought of as an object, or a slut..."

"Honestly, Severus," Lucius said. "I would think someone like you would prefer not to be thought of as merely an object."

Severus met Lucius' gaze steadily. "And I would think someone like you would prefer not to lower himself to whores."

Lucius' mouth twitched again. "Touché," he murmured. They looked at each other for a moment longer before Severus let out a breath and sat down heavily on the plush chair next to the matching one that Lucius sat on.

"I didn't really say that I was your whore last night, did I?" Severus asked. "I don't remember..."

"No, you didn't," Lucius replied, "though I did call you a slut, and you agreed to that quite..." He seemed to be searching for the right word. "Heartily," he said finally, smirking.

Severus' mind was racing. "I don't recall this conversation at all."

"That's a pity. I was enjoying myself at the time."

"What were you doing?"

"I had you on your knees."

"I don't see why that should affect my memory. You didn't use a charm on me, did you?"

Lucius' eyes went wide in feigned innocence. "Would I _do_ such a thing?"

Severus responded with an expression that spoke volumes; most of which were wanting to know whether or not Lucius was trying to mock him and, if he was, that it was not going to work. Lucius merely stared back with a look that appeared rather uninterested. Finally Severus asked, "Whatever did _you_ say that you didn't want me to remember?"

Lucius picked up a glass of fire whiskey from the small table between their chairs. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," he said.

"Very well," Severus said, holding desperately onto his patience, "you had me on my knees and... then what?"

Lucius looked sidelong at him. He might have been smiling, but Severus couldn't be certain of that. "I said that you're a slut," Lucius said, "and you said 'Yes'--with this exquisite little gasp."

"And then?" Severus pressed. "It's odd. I remember nothing between entering your room and wiping my face on your scarf."

Lucius' eyes widened, just slightly, and he shrugged one shoulder as he took a drink. "I have no idea why that would be."

"Lucius..."

"Severus. You worry too much. Don't I treat you well? Haven't I been good to you when no one else was?"

Severus was beginning to feel frustrated. "You never touch me. You don't even let me... swallow. I don't know what you want."

It appeared that Lucius was mulling this over. Severus shifted in his chair. Finally Lucius asked, "You want me to touch you?"

"I am not going to beg."

"Oh." Lucius' voice held what Severus might call a note of disappointment, if he didn't know him so well by now. "Pity."

Resting one elbow on the arm of his chair so that he could lean towards Lucius, Severus spoke with as much force as he thought he could get away with, "I want to know what I can't remember."

Lucius put the glass down and rolled his eyes. "Oh, calm down, Severus. There's nothing to remember."

"I know that's not true." It was exceedingly difficult to keep his voice even, when all Severus wanted was to rage at Lucius. Malfoy should at least know by now that Severus could be just as stubborn as he was, and to do this to him--there was no doubt that he saw this as a game, but Severus knew that Lucius could have done _anything_ to him. On the other hand, he might not have done anything, and this was probably just what Lucius wanted: to drive Severus quite mad.

And fuck him, because it was nearly working.

"Why does it matter so much?" Lucius sounded almost genuinely curious.

"Because if I suck you off," Severus said, quietly, "the least you could do is let me remember what you say to me."

Now Lucius' voice turned mocking, and his eyes took on a spark of cruelty as he leaned closer to Severus. "Would you like me to tell you that I told you how good you are, how sweet your mouth is, how much I want you on all fours so I can fuck you until you scream for me?"

Severus' fingers tightened on the chair's arm. He was not in the mood to let Lucius bully him. "You would never use the word 'sweet.'"

Suddenly amusement was back in Lucius' expression, and he smirked. "No," he said, "I wouldn't."

"Then what did you say? Was it a Malfoy family secret?" Severus knew he was walking a fine line. He was not going to lie to himself and pretend that he didn't want to be exactly where he was, and Lucius could demand that he leave if he pressed too much. But he was also not entirely willing to go without knowing what Lucius had taken away from him.

"I think it's time you dropped this," Lucius said, taking another drink. He had nearly finished his glass, and not offered any to Severus. He had spent the entire night teasing Severus, leading him around. Severus had finally finished spending seven years having other people telling him what to do, when he should do it, and for Merlin's sake--he wasn't a child anymore, and he didn't want to be treated like one.

"Is that an order, _Sir_?" he said, snidely.

But Lucius didn't bite. "Oh, now if you act like that, I _will_ call you my bitch."

Anger started to creep into Severus' voice. "You obviously think of me as your bitch anyway, so I'm not entirely sure why it would matter."

"Why, Severus, if I didn't know better I'd say you're angry with me. I'm just delighted that I could get such a reaction from you."

"Why don't you just use the Imperius Curse and tell me what I'm feeling?"

Lucius gave a small sigh. "Do stop acting like such an infant. It's unbecoming."

Severus stared at Lucius for a long moment, who looked back at him with a small measure of irritation. "Do you _want_ me to use the curse?" he demanded.

"I want to know what you want, apart from the occasional blow job," Severus shot back.

"What do I want..." Lucius pretended to mull this over, taking another sip of his fire whisky. "Now that is an interesting question, isn't it? Ah, but I thought that I could be very easy to please."

"I could laugh at that statement, but I don't think I will." There was bitterness in Severus' words, and he hoped that Lucius would choose not to make an issue of it. "You don't want Narcissa Black, do you, but you're probably going to marry her, or her sister. Aren't you? And you don't really want the Malfoy mansion, but you're going to have it."

"And just _why_ is this important to you?" Lucius sounded cruel again as he asked, "Do you want to have me all to yourself?"

Severus' jaw worked. "Now _that_ is unbecoming."

"You _are_ in a mood tonight, aren't you."

"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?"

Lucius waved a hand expansively. "I merely requested your company tonight for something to drink. Perhaps some... entertainment."

Severus got to his feet. "Well, if I'm not satisfactory company, then perhaps you should summon company that _will_ please you more."

Lucius glanced at the ceiling with a sigh. "I have found you satisfactory tonight," he replied, "though perhaps not quite in the way I'd intended, or even in the way you had intended."

"Because I haven't left? Or because I'm being... rude?"

"Because you're still here. Anyone else wouldn't dare argue with me about anything."

"You could insist they try," Severus said. "Threaten to withhold favors if they don't."

Lucius appeared to be mulling this over. "Perhaps I could," he admitted, "but then it becomes forced, and all the challenge is gone."

Remaining silent for a moment, Severus sat again. He clasped his hands in front of him. "That's why you did it, isn't it?" He glanced at Lucius only to see him smile. "You'd respect me more if I left?"

"And why do you say that?" Lucius asked, reaching out to pour himself some more to drink.

"Because it's true. You have no interest in your lackeys from school, you can't stand your parents' friends. You enjoy making people despise themselves. The ones you think are strong are the ones who don't need you."

Lucius looked at Severus for a long time. He leaned back more comfortably in his chair. "You've been paying very close attention."

"No, I..." Severus looked away. "Yes, I have."

"And what else have you discovered about me?" Lucius sounded very amused. Severus considered not responding to this at all, but decided against it.

"You want someone stronger than you are."

"Oh, indeed?"

"Yes. For reasons I don't understand, you're not trying to consolidate power. You're content to hold onto your family name, marry the girl you're expected to sire little Malfoys on and... wait." He glanced up, looking intensely at Lucius. "What are you waiting for?"

But Lucius merely looked back with a blank stare. "Whatever do you mean, Severus?"

"Why aren't you more public?" Severus demanded. "Making more of a show, recruiting allies? I know you want Hogwarts to stop admitting mudbloods. I think you have designs on running the Ministry of Magic, but you're not involved in any of those things."

"Everything will happen in its own good time. I'm very patient."

Severus leaned forward, and said, forcefully, "What don't you want me to remember?"

And Lucius laughed at him. "You are _persistent_, Snape!"

"I'm also not as stupid as Crabbe and Nott and your lackeys, Lucius."

Lucius reached out and put his glass down. "Perhaps I just did this to see if you would demand to know what had happened--to see how far you would go to get that information."

"What do you want in exchange?"

Lucius rose to his feet this time, taking the few steps that placed him in front of Severus. He dropped his voice, tilted his head to the side, and raised his eyebrows. "What else do you have that I may desire from you?"

Severus could only look up into those cool, calculating eyes for short time. "I suppose I've given you too much unasked," he said. "Lesson learned."

Lucius reached out and lifted Severus' chin. "There is nothing else you would give me?"

"I didn't say that," Severus said, moving back in his chair as though that were a means of escape. Lucius leaned forward, bracing his hands on the chair's arms.

"What do _you_ want, Severus?"

Severus could not look away this time, and neither could he find his voice right away. Not with Lucius' mouth suddenly so close to his.

In the past five months, since the night that Lucius had invited Severus up to his room, not once had they kissed.

Severus' voice was barely more than a whisper when he finally said, "I want you to touch me."

"Is that all you want?"

"I want you ... not to pull away."

"Indeed? And why is that?"

"Because you want to."

"And what will you do," Lucius murmured, "when, and if, I don't pull away?"

"I..." Severus looked down at his hands. "I don't know yet."

There was silence between them again. And then Lucius leaned in closer, and whispered into Severus' ear. "If I were to touch you... where would you want me to do it?"

It took all of Severus' willpower not to shiver. "I would rather not say." His voice was remarkably even, and he was rather proud of himself for that. "I'm curious where you would touch me."

Slowly, Lucius pulled back again, and then lifted a hand to rest it on the side of Severus' neck. His thumb stroked in a lazy circle. "Is that acceptable for you?" he asked, amusement evident in his voice.

Severus' hand gripped his robe tightly. "It's a start, I suppose," he replied. He wondered how long this could possibly last.

"What else do you want?"

"You could actually take off your robes."

Lucius stood straight again. "You're still wearing yours," he pointed out.

"I didn't know you..." Severus swallowed. "Do you want me to take them off?"

"You may as well."

Severus stood, hoping that he wasn't reacting too quickly, and began to take off his robes. He stopped, then, and looked pointedly at Lucius. Lucius held his gaze as they stripped, and he lifted his chin almost defiantly, which seemed rather laughable to Severus; if anything happened that Lucius decided he didn't like, he could send Severus away. Or hex him. Whichever he preferred, really. Maybe both.

When he realized he was staring at Lucius' flawless skin, stretched taut over a broad chest and smooth over compact buttocks, Severus said, "Well."

"Yes?"

"You're hard."

"So are you."

Severus' face felt warm. Lucius' eyes held a flicker of amusement. "I, uh," Severus said, with remarkable eloquence, "you're not always, at first." When Lucius didn't respond, he added, "This is usually when you tell me to get on my knees."

"Is that what you want me to do?" Lucius asked.

"Is that what you want to do?"

"Yes, it is. I want you on your knees, Severus."

Severus took a deep breath. "No," he said.

Lucius' eyebrows rose. "Excuse me?" he said quietly.

"Not until you tell me whatever it is you wanted me to forget." Severus' voice didn't shake, but his heart was pounding. He wondered if Lucius could hear it. "I want to know. Because there _is_ something you don't want me to remember. Will you at least admit that you used a charm on me?"

"Very well," Lucius replied. He sounded as though he was losing patience. "I did use a charm on you."

"Because you didn't trust me not to repeat whatever I might have seen, or heard?"

"That wasn't the issue."

"What _was_ the issue, then, if I might ask?"

Then Lucius suddenly smiled, wickedly, and pressed close. He whispered into Severus' ear again. "I had you on your hands and knees last night."

"You." Severus shivered, sputtered, and then attempted to recover his dignity. "I... I'm not sure I... understand."

Lucius chuckled, and his hand trailed up Severus' arm as he walked around behind him. Lucius was still hard, and his erection pressed against Severus' arse. His voice was little more than a purr. "I fucked you," he said slowly. "I fucked you until you begged and screamed for me. And I called you a slut..." His arm circled Severus' waist. "And you agreed that you were. And then you licked your own come from my hand."

"Oh." Lucius' chest was very warm, and inviting, and Severus leaned back against him helplessly. "I... Lucius..." Then the reality of Lucius' words hit Severus somewhat like a blow to the head, and he pulled away, spinning around. His voice was higher than normal, and he was able to admit to himself that he sounded a little hysterical. "Why didn't you let me remember!"

Lucius stared back at Severus calmly. "So that I could do it again, and you would act just as shamelessly as you did last night."

Severus backed away further, shaking, sweating. "What makes you think I wouldn't?"

"Because if you could remember, you wouldn't think it was the first time I'd fucked you."

It took a moment for this to sink in. Severus' hands balled into tight fists. "How many times were you planning on doing this?"

Lucius shrugged a shoulder. "As many as I could get away with."

Severus turned back to the chair where he'd dropped his robes. "You bastard," he said. He angrily gathered up his clothing, but his hands were shaking too hard for him to dress himself properly. "You rotten bastard. You _fucked_ me and you didn't even let me _remember_!"

"Are you expecting an apology?"

Severus whirled around again. Lucius seemed completely unconcerned by this turn of events. "Are you expecting me to let you do it again?" he demanded.

"Yes," Lucius replied, as though it was just that simple.

"You absolute bastard. Why do you think I would put up this, just so you can have me as a sniveling virgin over and over?"

"As appealing as that may sound, dealing with all of this is just far too much hassle. I think I will just save myself the headache for the future."

"You liar. You're enjoying this more than having me on my knees. You're still hard." Severus pointed, a feeling of triumph welling inside him.

Lucius' mouth twitched, almost a smile. "This is even better than I could have hoped for."

Severus draped his robes over his arms, hiding himself from Lucius' view. He was still shaking, but didn't really want to leave. "Fuck _you_, Lucius."

"I really _don't_ think so." Lucius swept past him to retrieve his drink. He seemed to be in no hurry to put his robes back on. Severus understood that he was still expecting to fuck him.

And Severus knew damn well that eventually, he'd give in to Lucius' desires. But he'd be damned if we was going to make it easy for him. "Why not?" he asked. "You might enjoy it. And if you did you could always use a memory charm to make me forget."

"Now, there's no need to be snide, Severus."

"Of course not," Severus snapped. "I'm supposed to kneel and kiss your feet and tell you how grateful I am to be allowed to service you, aren't I? Yes, Sir, if that is what you want, Sir, one more person worshipping your last name, Sir."

"It is not my _name_ you've been worshipping," Lucius said, taking a long drink.

"Don't flatter yourself that your cock is that impressive."

"Oh, very good, Snape. Anything more?" Lucius asked tauntingly.

"No," Severus said. "Yes." He started to pull his robes on, now that he finally had his hands under control again. "I'm leav--" He stopped himself, shoulders slumped. He looked at Lucius again, who watched him calmly, sipping his drink. "_That's_ what you wanted, isn't it. You want me to leave. Until I come crawling back to you and swear that I'll do whatever you want like a good boy."

Lucius approached him again, wordlessly holding out his glass to Severus. "Maybe that is what I want," he said.

Severus snatched the glass from him, splashing whiskey over Lucius' fingers. He wanted to finish the glass, but knew he wouldn't be able to handle that much. He took a sip, and then stepped away from Lucius as Lucius sucked the whiskey from his skin. "Maybe I won't come back," Severus said, knowing full well that it wasn't much of a threat.

"Is that what you want?" Lucius asked. Severus wouldn't delude himself into thinking that there was actual concern in his voice.

"What I want has never been relevant here, has it?" Severus made himself continue to hold Lucius' gaze.

"Severus, how much have I _forced_ you to do?"

"That's very difficult for me to say, isn't it, when by your own admission you've been playing with my memories." Severus took another drink, as long as he could before the firewhiskey started to burn in his throat. "I never fooled myself that you had any liking for me." _Would be far too dangerous, wouldn't it?_ a mocking voice in his head asked. He closed his eyes briefly. "But," he continued, when Lucius didn't appear to be about to say anything, "I didn't think you had so little respect for that you would stoop to that."

"_Did_ you want an apology?" Lucius was mocking him now, his eyes glinting cruelly again. "My humble promise that I shall never do it again?"

"Your promises are meaningless!" Severus cried, thrusting the glass back at him. "What do you _want_ from me, Lucius?"

"No more than you have given me."

"I'm just a fuck-toy then?" Severus matched the tone of Lucius' voice, and Lucius didn't seem to like it. But Severus felt reckless now, angry and bitter and hurt, and didn't care if Lucius' eyes flashed with ire. "How very un-ambitious of you." His robes finally on again, Severus turned to leave, but Lucius reached out and took hold of his wrist.

"Oh, you're hardly that at all, Severus," he said.

"Let go of me," Severus said tightly.

"No," Lucius replied, smiling. "I don't think so."

Severus jerked his hand in Lucius' grasp. "I'm _not_ your whore!"

Lucius pulled Severus to him, his fingers coming up to start removing Severus' clothing once more. "No? Then why are you here? Why do you keep coming when I ask you to?"

"I suppose I foolishly thought you might... be a mentor or... never mind." Severus shook his head angrily, trying to pull away again, but Lucius held him close. "Let _go_ of me!" he insisted.

Lucius clucked his tongue. "Now, Severus," he said, "you undoubtedly need someone to guide you, because you're far too foolish to accomplish anything on your own. Might as well be me, don't you think?"

Severus squirmed to get away as Lucius' arm tightened around his waist. "How can I learn anything form someone who will wipe my memories for his own filthy carnal pleasures?" he demanded.

"You seemed so _eager_ until now, Severus." Lucius trailed one finger along Severus' jaw, his voice dropped down to that purr again, a tone that went straight to Severus' cock. "Are you going to tell me that I've taught you nothing?"

"I'm... not..." It was distressingly hard to think all of a sudden. Severus shivered. "I don't trust you!"

Lucius nuzzled at Severus' ear, whispering, "I'm the only one you _can_ trust. Anyone else would just try to hurt you..." He began to work at Severus' clothing, pulling it all away to pool at Severus' feet. "I can give you everything."

"But..." Severus gasped softly as Lucius rubbed a thumb over his nipple. "Oh. But you won't. So why should I believe anything you say?"

"What do you have to lose?" Lucius' hand strayed up to Severus' neck, then trailed lightly down his arm.

"Besides my memories?"

"Besides that."

That maddening hand moved back up, and Lucius' fingertips once more teased Severus' nipple. He clenched his teeth. "I'm going to lose my mind if you keep doing that."

"Doing _what_?" Lucius asked, all wide-eyed with feigned innocence. The expression didn't suit him.

Eyes closed, Severus was quaking. It was getting harder to remember why he was angry at Lucius. "That. With your fingers."

"Oh," Lucius said, then smirked. "Tell me what you want, Severus."

"Just do what you're going to do!"

Lucius slipped around behind Severus, and rubbed a hand down his belly. "I want you on your knees," he said. "I'm going to fuck you."

Severus dropped down to his hands and knees on the floor. He dropped his torso, shamelessly raising his hips higher. "I want to remember," he said thickly.

"I'll let you." Lucius wandered away for a moment, then returned, getting to his own knees behind Severus. "You won't forget."

Severus rested his forehead on his arm. "Then just do it," he said.

"Such impatience," Lucius said, chuckling. "Don't you think this is worth waiting for?"

A slick finger pushed against the entrance to Severus' body, and he gasped. "Lucius!" He knew it should have hurt more, that this was far, far too easy, and somewhere in the back of his mind, a panicked little part of him had to wonder if Lucius had done this to him more than once. But then that finger moved inside him, and he cried out helplessly, pushing his hips back.

"Just like that. Absolutely delightful," Lucius said appreciatively, rubbing the small of Severus' back with his other hand. "Do you want more?"

"Yes," Severus gasped, "yes."

The finger slipped out of him, and he made a small noise of protest at its loss. Then Lucius said, "Tell me what you want," and Severus nearly whimpered.

"I... I want... I want to feel you in me," he said softly. "Fucking me."

"Good boy," Lucius said, and he sounded genuinely pleased, but Severus wasn't surprised by this. One hand came up to grip Severus' hip, and then Lucius was pushing inside him. It felt like being torn in two by a column of fire, straight through to his spine; Severus could not believe that he had not felt the after-effects of this for days, memory charm or no.

"Oh. Oh, fuck, Lucius, fuck..."

Lucius covered Severus with his body, his hands resting on the floor on either side of Severus. "What a dirty mouth you have," he said. "I want to hear how much you like this."

"Fuck," Severus gasped, "fuck, it hurts, Lucius."

"It won't hurt for long," Lucius said, softly, reassuringly. His voice was gentle near Severus' ear as he began to move slowly inside him.

It was almost as painful to think that Lucius had stolen the memory of this from him, because the pain eased its way to discomfort, and then finally to pleasure, as Lucius teased his cock and rubbed a spot deep inside him that threatened to drive him utterly insane. And Lucius kept talking to him, whispering dirty things in his ear, though he didn't really hear him. Not until that silky-soft voice said, "I will have you begging me for more, to let you come..."

"Let me come _now_, Lucius, please," Severus said, horrifyingly close to begging.

"So soon?" Lucius asked, withdrawing his hand, and laughed when Severus moaned. Surely, Lucius had been fucking him for _hours_, keeping him close, so close, to coming. "I don't want you to touch yourself, Severus," Lucius warned.

"But it's, please, do something," Severus said, his face burning at his inability to form a coherent sentence.

"Making demands now?" How was it that Lucius' voice was so fucking _even_? How could he still be in such firm control of himself? It simply wasn't fair, that Severus was nearly begging--_nearly? Liar!_\--and Lucius just wasn't that much older, couldn't possibly be this experienced. But then his fingers closed around Severus' cock. "Very well," he said, "does _this_ meet with your approval?"

"Touch me please touch me please just touch me."

"I _am_ touching you," Lucius replied, stroking Severus' cock in time with the thrusting of his hips. "Oh, I could listen to you all night... shameless."

And Severus had obviously left his dignity in his robes. He let out a loud keening near-scream, and moved frantically back to meet Lucius' hips.

"Slut," Lucius gasped, and there it was, a small crack in the façade, and Severus would have smiled if he hadn't been too busy screaming. "Ah--fuck--Severus."

"Lucius!" Severus moved a hand to cover Lucius', not caring what he might think about this. "Going to can't hold oh my no don't stop!"

The hand that was still on the floor near Severus moved, and Lucius' fingers gripped Severus' hip tightly, and Severus knew that there would be bruises later. Severus felt Lucius' body shuddering behind him, thought he could hear the older man panting in ragged little gasps. He heard, "Fuck" and "So tight" and "Begging for it, shameless, Severus" and then he couldn't hear anything except his own delirious screams of pleasure as he came all over their hands, and his own belly, and Lucius' expensive rug.

It was a long moment before either of them moved; before Severus acknowledged how sore his knees were. "Lucius," he said, his throat raw. "Oh. Lucius."

Now he could clearly hear Lucius' harsh breathing. Lucius was still for a moment longer, and then he pulled away.

"Don't," Severus said, though he hadn't moved to look at Lucius yet. "You said... let me remember."

"I know. I said I would." Lucius' voice was detached now, emotionless. He spoke this way to his parents' friends.

A tight knot formed in Severus' stomach, and he forced himself to sit up on his heels. "I'm--oh." He looked down. "Dripping... how did you hide all this last time?"

"'Scourgify' works wonders," Lucius replied. "And you did lose a little more than fifteen minutes."

"I can't believe... I won't feel this for a month."

"Hm. A pity indeed."

Severus turned, sitting now on the rug to face Lucius, who wasn't looking at him. "Are you... did--" He stopped, and licked his lip, and tried again: "Was it like that for you?"

Lucius frowned and finally looked at Severus. "Was... what like that?"

"Did you. Feel... that, before?" Severus asked, and had to look away. He poked a clean fingertip into the soft rug.

"Before..." Lucius stood on very slightly wobbly knees to retrieve his wand from his robes. Severus felt breathless again, and stared at him, hoping desperately that, just this once, Lucius Malfoy would keep a promise.

"Won't you even tell me?" Severus asked quietly. Lucius didn't respond immediately, as he cast the scourgify charm, cleaning his rug but not Severus' skin.

Finally Lucius said, "It was... just like that."

"It. Oh. You were so quiet," Severus said, and winced at the disappointment in his voice. He watched Lucius put his wand back into his robes, which he picked up off the floor and draped neatly over one of his chairs.

"You should clean yourself up," he said. "Clean myself up?"

Lucius turned to look at him again, and Severus allowed himself a moment to let his gaze wander up and down Lucius' body. "You've made an awful mess."

Severus stared for another few seconds, then said, "Like this?" He lifted his hand to his mouth and licked a finger, slowly. He thought perhaps Lucius held his breath for a moment, but he couldn't be sure.

"Just... like that," Lucius said softly, not moving.

"Oh." Severus proceeded to lick one finger clean at a time. He looked steadily at Lucius, who had one fist clenched tightly as he came to kneel in front of Severus.

"Fuck," said Lucius.

"Did you want some?" Severus asked, grinning naughtily.

"Ah..."

Severus dragged a finger through the come on his belly, then swiped it against Lucius' cheek right by his mouth. "No?" he said, feeling empowered by Lucius' reaction to this. Then Lucius grabbed his wrist, and sucked a finger into his mouth.

"Oh."

Lucius released the finger, and licked the palm of Severus' hand. "Oh?"

"I didn't think you'd... do that," Severus replied.

"What did you think I'd do?" Lucius raised an eyebrow.

What _had_ he thought Lucius would do? Spank him? Turn him into a toad? He leaned in a little closer. "Not..." He licked the wet streak next to Lucius' mouth away.

Lucius flinched. "I would hate to think I'd become predictable."

Severus met and held Lucius' eyes. He stayed close to him, and said, his voice low and intense, "Then kiss me."


	3. Surrender

In the midst of kissing an eager Lucius Malfoy, who had pressed him against the wall behind the tapestry hanging in his formal dining room -- even though there was no one in the house who might have seen them, save for elves -- Severus finally understood why Lucius had wiped his memory of the first time Lucius had fucked him. It wouldn't have been the sex. Lucius would have gloated over that. No, Severus was quite certain...Lucius must have kissed him.

"Mmm," the older wizard purred, crushing Severus against the decorative metal supports of the tapestry. Since that first, reluctantly granted kiss, Lucius had demonstrated a delight in kissing. He had also displayed impressive stamina and an enthusiasm for the subtle pleasures of the act that Severus had not expected. While they were touching, Severus ached to be possessed by him; no matter how many times he implied that Lucius' harsh treatment of him might drive him away, he had no will to leave, and worse, he suspected that Lucius had realized it.

"Did we do this the first time, when you made me forget?" he asked between kisses as Lucius paused to unfasten Severus' robes, sliding a hand inside. At the older man's hesitation he pressed, "That's why you made me forget, isn't it."

Nodding, Lucius withdrew his fingers from the path they had been tracing down Severus' ribs. Severus groaned inwardly. It was always the same; he needed to know, but any challenge was liable to make Lucius angry; on the other hand, challenging Lucius was the only means to earn his respect, and led to rewards like that first remembered kiss. Fighting the urge to apologize in the hope that Lucius' fingers would go on stroking him, Severus glared. "Do you hate me so much?"

With a sigh Lucius shook his head. "Don't be childish. You hand power to me when you step into my room. How could you respect me if I did not take advantage of that?"

"You aren't so insecure that you can only fuck someone who's utterly in your thrall. I think you respect me more when I'm treating you as badly as you treat me."

There was approval of the parry in Lucius' smile, though his look also signaled danger. "You will not speak to me that way," he said calmly. "Your opinion of me matters very little, but I will not be mocked in my own home. I don't require you to be a simpering lapdog -- I have enough of those -- and I have never forced you to do anything."

"You want a lapdog that bites, but still a lapdog," snapped Severus, though he could not hold back a shiver as Lucius trailed a finger down his spine. "Why don't you put a silencing charm on me?"

"Because," Lucius replied, enunciating each syllable carefully, "if I did, I couldn't hear you scream and beg when I fucked you. And I _am_ going to fuck you, Severus." The hiss had not died on his breath before it was cut off as he brought their lips together again and claimed Severus' mouth with his searching tongue. "Now, unless you have not had enough dessert, let's go upstairs."

Lucius' kisses left Severus breathless; they were calculated to do so, yet it was impossible not to notice that Lucius enjoyed them as well. Now that it was apparent he considered pleasure a vulnerability, Severus took as much advantage as he could, kissing him back, sucking at his lips and tongue, until Lucius emitted a soft surprised moan. Drawing back, Severus glanced at the half-closed eyes and parted lips, saying, "Suppose I want to do it the other way."

"Dessert first?" It took a moment for Lucius to bring him into focus and understand his meaning. Then Lucius' eyes widened, mouth twisting contemptuously. "I will _not_ submit myself to being fucked."

"'Submit.' Ah." With a scowl Lucius pulled away, and Severus said sincerely, "I'm sorry."

"You should be. How dare you suggest such a thing."

"I wasn't apologizing for suggesting it. I'm sorry you see it as submission rather than something we both know feels very good. Is power the only pleasure you can feel?"

Although Severus had braced himself for a scathing remark, perhaps even being labeled a whore again, Lucius appeared to be pondering the question for a moment before his eyes narrowed. "Surrender to pleasure is still surrender." With no more than a glance at Severus, he straightened and turned. "Come upstairs now."

The suite of rooms in which Lucius slept, dressed and kept his belongings was larger than many homes, including Severus' own. Lucius would, of course, inherit the entire estate and would likely move into a different wing once he married, but at present he spent most of his time in a high-vaulted chamber dominated by a vast bed hung with draperies. The foot of the bed faced a wall of mirrors, some set at angles, which hid closets nearly as big as the room itself. All of Lucius' favorite positions for fucking seemed to involve being able to see his reflection in a dominant position, though when the curtains were drawn he allowed Severus to ride him, face to face, shamelessly touching and stroking. When Severus lost control and spurted onto his belly, Lucius would rub the hot liquid into his own skin, groaning with what sounded like surrender to pleasure.

This night, however, would apparently require open curtains, for Lucius had had them bound elegantly to the bedposts with long cords and the candles on the back wall had already been lit. Severus undressed quickly and efficiently, folding his clothing onto the corner of a sofa, feeling Lucius watching him; he knew better than to approach the bed itself until invited. "I have something special planned for you," the older man announced, dropping his elegant robes haphazardly over a chair but retaining his wand. "Why don't you get onto the duvet and I'll show you."

Obediently Severus climbed onto the thick mattress, facing the wall of glass so that he could watch Lucius move behind him, bending to suck on his neck and sending a sweep of soft hair across his shoulder and chest. The pressure continued until Severus could feel the skin bruising. He made a quiet noise of warning, and Lucius bit down as he detached his lips, ensuring that the mark would show. Lucius' eyes met Severus' in the mirror; it was apparent that he was smiling even before he lifted his lips to show the teeth.

"Stand up," Lucius ordered, urging Severus to his feet near the edge of the mattress where he wobbled for a moment before the long ends of the cords that held the curtains to the bedposts suddenly whipped out, wrapped themselves around his wrists and pulled his arms taut. It was not precisely uncomfortable -- his muscles were scarcely being stretched, and whatever spell Lucius had used to suspend the twisted cords seemed to be supporting his arms as well -- but it was a position that left him entirely vulnerable, unable even to summon his wand. To keep his balance on the mattress, Severus was forced to spread his feet, inspiring a chuckle from Lucius who slid a hand along an exposed inner thigh. "So eager already?"

The fingers tickled; Severus twitched. He did not object, particularly, to having his wrists bound, and wouldn't have expected Lucius to ask for his permission to do so, but the image of himself spread-eagled and vulnerable in the glass caused him to grow tense, uncertain why Lucius required this particular form of submission at this time. "What are you doing? You can't make me touch myself like this," he reminded Lucius, who sometimes enjoyed taking his own pleasure before making Severus bring himself off with his own hand, watching in the mirror with condescension in his smile.

"Tonight I have something else in mind." Rising to his feet, Lucius stilled the shifting mattress with a charm, then moved in close behind Severus, putting an arm around him to stroke the wand like a fingertip from his chin down his torso to his twitching cock. Winking over his shoulder in the mirror, Lucius smirked, "What I'd like to do is to put an Immobilus spell on you and fuck you just like this."

A spasm of fear twisted Severus' belly. He managed not to let it alter his expression, but it made him break out in a sweat. Used in such a manner, Immobilus could be nearly as dangerous as cutting off someone's oxygen just before climax. It was said to heighten the experience -- being unable to move any muscles but the ones being directly stimulated by one's partner in the act -- but since it was impossible to scream or writhe or struggle, people were often bruised or injured by careless partners, and on rare occasion the inability to move caused one's blood or air flow to be cut off, leading to more disastrous consequences.

When Lucius approached orgasm, his naturally selfish nature became entirely focused upon his own desires; he could not be trusted to notice a partner in distress. What was more, this had the feeling of being a test, as if Lucius wanted to see whether Severus would allow him this much liberty. Saying yes to Lucius too quickly or easily could be just as damaging as denial; as Lucius had said, he had enough lapdogs already. It was impossible to tell at the moment whether this was a challenge, a long-planned enactment of a fantasy or a whim of the moment from which Lucius might become distracted. It did not matter: it went too far. There were some risks not worth taking.

"No," grated Severus.

"Did you say...no?" Smiling as if it was merely a game, Lucius prodded the wand into his navel. "But you are hardly in a position to argue."

"I did say no!" This time Severus was more emphatic. "I don't want this."

"But why not?" There was surprise rather than anger on Lucius' face, or at least it appeared so in the mirror, reversed and therefore harder to read. Nuzzling Severus' cheek, he slid his hand down to the erection still pointing like an accusation toward the mirror. "Look at that. You can't tell me you're not excited."

Severus' cock gave a traitorous leap against Lucius' fingers. Urgent to break the contact, he jerked his hips to the side. "I've no wish to be tortured. Earlier you were observing that you had never forced me to do anything."

"Tortured!" Now Lucius looked less amused. "I've never had to force you to do anything -- you've always been so delightfully eager. I'm offering to pleasure you without your having to lift so much as a finger, and you call it torture?"

"My arms are uncomfortable, I don't like this position, it could be dangerous. Why would you get any pleasure out of that?"

"Because watching your reactions is so delightful, especially when you just can't control them." The wand slid up and down Severus' cock, making it twitch and jerk in the air. "You see?"

"Stick it up your arse!"

"Not tonight..." Then Lucius paused, looking at his reflection speculatively. "You're afraid, aren't you." Despite the urge to deny it, Severus held his tongue; if Lucius decided that he wanted to frighten him, he had far more treacherous weapons to summon. And at the moment Lucius looked strangely moved, as if, having Severus so completely in his power, he had no need to demonstrate his mastery with a spell. "You've never admitted fear to me before."

"This isn't about power, Lucius. You know it's not safe. There have been cases of Immobilus stopping the heart of an otherwise healthy wizard. People have choked on their own saliva. I'm not going to risk my life for your pleasure!"

"You _don't_ trust me." The older man's voice was unusually quiet; too late Severus realized that he had wounded his feelings, or perhaps his pride. "Immobilus is only dangerous when used carelessly. Just like flying on a broom is dangerous when done carelessly, but you've surely done that." For a moment the icy crystal eyes dimmed, then Lucius pursed his lips thoughtfully. "If it's that you don't trust me, perhaps I could offer you something to change your mind, something in return..."

"No." Severus found his voice. He would not be bribed. "Not for this."

"Is there nothing I could offer you? Not even...whatever you might want from me?"

They stood in silence for a moment, staring at one another in reverse in the glass until Lucius sighed and turned away. "Well, since you are adamant." One flick of the wand and the cords unwound from Severus' wrists. His arms dropped to his sides, tingling as he shook them. Without the spell that had supported him upright, the mattress shifted with his movements; he and Lucius both stumbled backward, falling in an awkward heap across the bed.

"Whatever I might want?" Severus asked softly, disbelieving. "You would let me -- _anything_?"

Lucius did not answer the question, but sat up again, facing the mirror, and lay the wand down across the foot of the bed. Severus moved beside him, scooting forward until they were shoulder to shoulder, and Lucius' eyes held his steadily and directly in the mirror. "Whatever you might want, Severus," he said again, quite softly, and smiled. "But...you've already said you won't do this."

"You said you would not submit yourself. Have you changed your mind?"

"Have you changed yours?" In the silence, Lucius got to his knees to yank the curtains shut. "Tonight, I will let you do whatever you like with my body. And in return, tomorrow night, you will allow me to use the Immobilus spell, and trust me with your safety. Do you think you can let yourself enjoy it if I let you have your night first, Severus? Do those terms suit you?"

Something boiled over in Severus then. "I have my own terms," he snarled. "How can I ever trust you, Malfoy? For all I know you'll decide to wipe my memory the moment we've finished."

"If I wiped your memory," Lucius noted reasonably, "I wouldn't have anything to hold over you so that you would do as I wished, would I?" Still on his knees, he swept his eyes over Severus and frowned. "Why are you angry? I offered you what you wanted, didn't I?"

Infuriatingly, Severus' cock, which had been so overly eager for Lucius earlier, was refusing to cooperate once again; the erection that had ached all through dinner had disappeared. The possibility of fucking Lucius -- a fantasy Severus rarely indulged, believing that it would never happen and not wanting to risk pushing for it -- frightened him nearly as much as the threat of Immobilus. He had some notion of what to do, having paid attention to what Lucius did to him, what he enjoyed, what he wanted to encourage, but he had no idea whether he could actually pleasure Lucius, and the thought that perhaps he could not was terrifying.

"I have another condition," he said. "I want you to tell me if...if I'm doing anything wrong, or what you like..." Severus could not understand why, with Lucius offering himself, he still felt so exposed. He could not demand that Lucius enjoy himself, and did not think he could bear it if Lucius performed like an actor, making artificial noises and saying words he did not mean. Looking at him, Severus was struck anew by how lucky he was to be kept by someone who looked like Lucius, who had Lucius' status, who touched him the way Lucius did, even if it could not last. His body responded with its usual helpless urgency.

Lucius moved to sit beside him, and reached to stroke his face with a tenderness that startled Severus. "I won't erase your memories," he said, "and I'll tell you if you're doing anything wrong. Now, do we have a bargain?" And Severus finally believed that Lucius actually wanted to be fucked. Not so that he would have an excuse to treat Severus terribly later on -- he would do that if he wished to, regardless -- but because he wanted the experience. And for reasons that might never be revealed, he wanted it with Severus.

"Why don't you get on your elbows and knees." Severus was pleased that his voice wavered only slightly, and Lucius dropped his eyes before he crawled up the bed, folding his hands together.

"What are you planning?" he asked conversationally. Severus didn't answer. He moved on his knees behind Lucius, putting a hand on either side of his body, feeling him squirming, perhaps even shaking slightly. Then he ran his mouth down Lucius' spine, into the crack and lower, crouching behind him so he could press his tongue where he wanted it. "Fuck!" Lucius rested his forehead on his forearm, starting to shake. "Oh fuck oh _fuck_ oh..."

Severus slid a hand underneath Lucius' body, finding his cock and stroking it, happy to discover that Lucius had just as little control over how he twitched and jerked even when he was making a conscious effort to keep his hips still. He was not in a good position to make him come in his hand, but he rested his palm against the head of Lucius' cock so that Lucius could rub against it while he wriggled his tongue against him. He had never done this before, had been prepared for the smell and taste to be quite unpleasant, but Lucius was both smoother and sweeter than he had anticipated, making him wonder whether Lucius had prepared for the possibility of this, even though such solicitousness would probably be beyond a Malfoy. It was probable that Lucius simply kept himself clean.

As Severus pushed his tongue inside, Lucius shuddered, rubbing himself against his hand and moaning. The opening quivered and clenched. Certain that the older man would never have offered to let him fuck him unless he had experimented with penetration, Severus guessed that he knew far more about what to expect than he had known himself, the first time, with no more experience than a few furtive explorations with a single finger. "Do you like this?"

"Oh fuck Severus yes don't stop," ordered Lucius, or perhaps he begged; in either case it was enough. Severus lowered his head and stabbed his tongue inside the tight opening again, making Lucius convulse all over and cry out in what sounded like surprise. Surely someone had rimmed him before...but then, knowing the Malfoy sense of pride, it might have been among the things he wouldn't have allowed himself.

Though Severus' hips and ankles were becoming sore from his position half-crouched on the bed, he continued to press his tongue into Lucius as he slid his hand up and down the pulsing shaft. Whimpers were escaping from Lucius' throat, high-pitched and needy, of a sort Severus had never heard before from him. Without lifting his face from Lucius' skin, he blurted out, "I want to fuck you now."

"Yes," Lucius replied so quickly that Severus was surprised. He pulled back, picking up the wand to prepare himself before Lucius changed his mind, but he could not escape the awareness that this might be the only time Lucius would ever agree to this...his sole chance to have him as he wanted him. Though he knew from experience that it was not the most comfortable position, he urged him over onto his back, unable to resist the idea of watching Lucius' face. A quick "accio" sent the lubricating potion flying into his hand from its hiding place, but he had to be careful slicking his cock, afraid he might come just from looking at Lucius, watching him with his long blond hair spilling over the bed.

Severus pushed a wet finger inside Lucius, wishing his lover would open his eyes. He curved it, easily brushing the other man's prostate, and watched Lucius' cock twitch. Lucius made an odd noise when he added a second finger, yet continued to press down, trying to get Severus to touch him inside again. The groan sounded thick with discomfort, perhaps even pain, something Lucius never willingly let Severus see him acknowledge. Though there was scarcely any physical contact between them now -- only Lucius tight around Severus' fingers and the occasional brush of skin -- Severus felt his groin tighten in response. It would not have done at all to come on Lucius before managing to get inside him. He moved his cock where his fingers had just been, barely pressing at the entrance, waiting until he could feel Lucius relax enough to dare to press forward.

Lucius' hands came up, clutching at Severus' arms, neither pushing him away nor pulling him closer. Despite the temptation to push into the heat of Lucius' body and thrust until he exploded, Severus forced himself to go very slowly. Hurting Lucius would accomplish nothing; the momentary power over him could lead only to contempt of the fact that Severus actually enjoyed being in the position in which he had Lucius now. He stroked Lucius' cock as he leaned forward, feeling Lucius' body stretching to accommodate him to a point, then resisting; he could do nothing but shift, wait, and press slowly forward again, until he was no longer certain he could endure the tight, gripping warmth without moving against it.

Lucius' hand let go of Severus' arm, reaching up blindly to touch his face, encountering the sweat pooling beneath his jaw and along his temples. Expelling a breath, he looked up at Severus. "Do it," he whispered, "Severus. _Do_ it." Unable to hold back any longer, Severus thrust the rest of the way inside, sliding his slippery hand up Lucius' cock and letting out a cry that would have shamed him if he could have spared the attention to fret about it. Instead all his energy was focused on not ejaculating, which required that he not notice how dazed Lucius looked beneath him, not allow himself to get lost in the sensation of heat around and against him...he thrust again, hitting something inside that resisted him before giving way, and the room went red.

Lucius cried out, his entire body jerking. From his squirming Severus couldn't tell whether he was trying to escape or to make him hit the same spot again. His hips moved of their own accord, changing the angle upward, and Lucius' fingers fell to grip his wrist, but instead of struggling he moved Severus' hand faster over his cock. "Please," he groaned, unquestionably begging this time.

Severus began to stroke him fast, in the rhythm he knew Lucius liked, feeling the fluid gathering and dripping from the tip, and knew that he was going to come before he could thrust again. Just then Lucius gasped his name, jerking into his hand -- and Lucius had never said his name like that before, never made much noise at all -- Severus felt him spasm inside, cried out and knew nothing but the rush that overtook him, leaving them both crushed into the pillows when consciousness returned, his hand and belly covered with Lucius' semen and his cock still pulsing with the convulsions inside him.

"Oh," gasped Severus, the only syllable he dared pronounce. Suddenly realizing that Lucius must be uncomfortable, he pulled out of him, feeling a hot spill of fluid accompany his cock. Groaning, Lucius opened his eyes, staring with an unreadable expression, until Severus finally found his voice, though appallingly uneven. "Did that hurt?" He suspected that the silence meant it had, for Lucius would be less likely to admit vulnerability than imperviousness, and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I thought...I had hoped I would have better control."

Lucius rose on his elbows and, unexpectedly, smiled at him. "Not at your age," he said. "And certainly not the first time. You lasted much longer than I thought you would." Ridiculously, Severus felt tears prickle at his eyes. The words were certainly meant to taunt, despite the smile. It was apparent that Lucius had recovered his control and nothing had changed. Sitting up, Lucius touched his belly and concluded, "Long enough to make me make a terrible mess. Pass me my wand, and I'll clean us up."

The scourgifying spell left both of them and the bed as clean as if nothing had happened. Dry now, and chilled, Severus was wondering whether he was expected to dress and leave immediately when Lucius smiled again. "I was thinking that if you went home now, you'd only wake up your parents." Severus was about to explain that his parents would be up at an absurdly early hour, as usual even on the weekend, forcing him to come up with an explanation for where he'd been and what he had been doing, when he realized that Lucius may be suggesting that he spend the night. "You could send an owl. I have the house to myself for the next three days." A melancholy expression twisted his mouth. "Surely your parents wouldn't object to you accepting an invitation from a Malfoy?"

"No. They'd be pleased, of course." Severus shivered, and Lucius moved a little nearer to him.

"This house is usually too warm. My mother makes the house-elves build up the fires all the time. When she's not here, I immediately order them put out." Reaching out, he pulled Severus closer, tugging the blankets up around them. Afraid to move or even to breathe lest Lucius move away, Severus hunched his shoulders and folded his arms inward, trying to make himself as unobtrusive as possible, which Lucius apparently understood to mean that he was still cold; an arm slipped around him, thumb rubbing idly back and forth against his shoulder. "Is that better? You're still shivering."

"Yes," Severus heard himself blurt out, and blushed. He was trembling, not shivering, but he was certainly not going to say so. He wanted to press back into Lucius, lying them down together on the bed, but Lucius might have pulled away, though he was actually pulling Severus even closer, rubbing harder.

"This won't do at all." Molding himself against Severus, Lucius forced him further beneath the covers and stretched out alongside him. There was no way that Severus could restrain the shudder that passed through his body at the feel of Lucius curling around him, nuzzling below his hairline and sliding an arm across his chest. "That's better. Why are you still so tense?" A pause, and then, "You said one of your conditions was to tell you what I liked. I liked how determined you were to please me, and how concerned you were that you might hurt me. And I like your understanding that this changes nothing and gives you no right to make demands."

The muscles in Lucius' arms and legs felt different tangled sleepily around him. Something had obviously changed. Rather than vulnerability from allowing Severus to fuck him, there was a new confidence, a calm acknowledgment of pleasure that tempted Severus to scoff at him for refusing to accept it earlier. And now Lucius knew just how much it moved Severus. Now, having shown him how it could be, he had one more thing to withhold.

"You don't waste any time, do you," he snapped at Lucius.

"I don't miss opportunities." Severus tried to lie still as an object. He couldn't bring himself to complain about Lucius' arms around him -- indeed, he could not pretend to be anything other than warm and comfortable with Lucius' arms around him -- but he would not give Lucius the satisfaction of knowing that he had craved this. The muscles shifted, and Lucius murmured, "You're still tense. I don't understand. I know you enjoyed that, and you're not hard again yet."

"I'm tired," Severus snapped more loudly than he intended.

"Then you should relax. I've noticed that it's easier to sleep that way." Shifting to loosen Lucius' arms around him, Severus rolled onto his belly so he could hide his face in a pillow. "Severus...what am I doing wrong? I told you that tonight was yours. I thought that you would want..." An elaborate shrug, "Suit yourself," and the arms withdrew.

"What about tomorrow night?"

"As I've said, my parents are gone for the entire weekend. If you'd be a little more cooperative, you could stay all three nights in my bed." There was a silence, followed by a sudden upheaval of the mattress as Lucius turned. "Look at me," he ordered, and when Severus obeyed, "I am not going to force myself upon you with an Immobilus spell. Now, will you come over here or won't you?"

It took a moment to understand that this was not Lucius commanding him, but the closest thing to a request that a Malfoy was capable of articulating. But like all seeming acts of generosity from a Malfoy, there was certain to be a hidden price. Severus realized that his fingers were tightly gripping the thick pillow and forced them to relax. "I agreed to your terms," he muttered. "And you met mine."

"You did, and I did, and if it was a bargain you never should have made, you simply will have to repay me in some other fashion." Remarkably, Lucius sounded unconcerned, and sliding close again, he pulled the blankets around them, tangling their limbs once more. "You're so difficult," he sighed. "You're lucky I've spent too much time breaking you in to want to dismiss you for breaking your word."

Severus knew that he had made a mistake -- that on this night of all nights, he should have insisted on his pride, his independence, not lying close to Lucius, embracing him, trying to be what he wanted. His own heart was pounding, making him feel breathless and trapped against the older man's damp, firm chest, yet he knew what had to be said. "I won't break my word. I told you that I would let you...I told you that I would _trust_ you."

"But you don't." The unexpected, bleak note had returned to Lucius' voice. "You don't trust me at all. Anyone would think that I had threatened to use an Unforgivable Curse on you, not to paralyze you with pleasure." From his prone position, wrapped up with Lucius, Severus couldn't tell whether he was being teased or threatened. Though he nearly shivered again, he forced his body to remain still. He did not believe that Lucius would intentionally damage his flesh beyond repair, nor harm his intellect, but then he had never expected Lucius to meddle with his memories either.

And he knew then that it was never the possibility of his heart stopping that made him resist Immobilus. The injuries he feared most were not physical. "Aren't you the one who said surrender to pleasure was still surrender?" he demanded softly. "You've no need to treat me with respect because you're incapable of respecting me. And haven't you told me that I'm yours to do with as you please, whether it's what I want or not?"

Lucius moved back, taking his warmth with him, so that for a moment Severus felt only the loss of his physical presence and wished he had held his tongue. But though Lucius was agitated -- his breathing had quickened, and he shifted restlessly beneath the blanket -- his voice was low when he spoke. "I would not have shared my bed with anyone I was incapable of respecting. It would be beneath me. Though I realize..." A long pause. "What I did was foolish. The other night. It wasn't necessary. It should not have happened that way."

"I wondered whether you would regret it," Severus admitted. He had thought that Lucius might be sorry, one day, ever to have let Severus know his real preferences, his desires. Anyone could shove a boy to his knees and ask to be pleasured, but now he knew Lucius enjoyed fucking men and had indulged repeatedly, far more than he could pretend was a whim. "You needn't worry. Your secret will remain safe with me."

Frowning, Lucius studied his face. "What do you mean?" "I didn't expect this to go on much longer. I know you're planning to marry one Black sister or another, to pull strings in the Ministry and inherit this house -- there's no place for me. I've always understood that."

Lucius blinked. He almost spoke, stopped, then stared at Severus for a little while. "I didn't mean anything of the sort," he ventured finally. "I'm not regretting anything we've done together. I -- fuck. Severus. I'm -- I'm sorry."

Nothing Lucius was saying made sense. Was he remorseful for having enjoyed himself more than either of them could have anticipated? For having lured a young wizard into his clutches at all? Perhaps Lucius had decided that he was too weak to recruit to any sort of purpose, and was ashamed to have to admit his own error. Or did Lucius suspect that Severus was much more deeply attached than he had any right to have become? In a small voice, he finally admitted, "I'm not certain that I understand."

"What kind of an idiot are you? I'm apologizing for what I did with the memory charm the first time!"

Severus could feel himself gaping, mouth open and eyes bugged out like a St. Mungo's patient. "You are?"

"And to think I'd finally decided that you could be good for something. I thought that perhaps you could be recruited to other uses. If it isn't apparent to you that you are useless to me if you can't accept what you're told..." The words and tone were contemptuous, but there was embarrassment as well, and Severus held his tongue as Lucius shifted the topic. "I had thought about introducing you to some of my associates. Apparently you've something of a reputation for skill with potions. I have some contacts who may be valuable to you, and I suspect you may be of interest to them."

With effort Severus forced himself to stop staring like a fool, nodding as nonchalantly as he could. Lucius had investigated his work and approved of what he'd learned. Lucius was willing to bring him into the presence of colleagues, perhaps wizards from backgrounds similar to his own, other purebloods from noble houses; Severus knew his family would be thrilled. And Lucius was -- apologizing -- rather than being furious with Severus' reluctance to give him his way, after Lucius had let him...

"Thank you," he said humbly, bowing his head, until Lucius reached out and caught his chin, lifting it. He could see at once that Lucius was pleased with himself, and with Severus as well; the steely eyes were curved in the shape of his smile, and the lips inclined toward him.

"I do look after my own, you know." Elegant fingers pushed Severus' hair out of his eyes, cupped the back of his head and drew him forward. With a soft moan he gave himself up to Lucius' kiss and the knowledge that Lucius was right: taking him had changed nothing, for Severus was the one possessed. It was no surprise that Lucius would hint at ownership. What startled Severus was his own longing for it to be real.


	4. Open Wounds

For the past ten days, the Snapes had had extended family visiting. Severus' aunt -- his mother's sister -- and uncle and cousins lived in France. The children, four of them, three girls and a boy, were between the ages of six and sixteen. The oldest two attended Beauxbatons. They were all plain-looking, but wore much nicer robes than their cousin did. In fact, the family was much better-off than the Snapes, and Severus suspected that his aunt decided to pay her sister a call once every few years simply to make sure no one had forgotten this fact.

Severus' cousins were intolerable, loud, obnoxious brats. They came into Severus' room uninvited. In fact, on their first day visiting, Severus had needed to run to Diagon Alley to buy a few books; when he returned, he went immediately up to his room to put his purchases away, and could tell instantly that they had gone into his room while he had been out. He was only two years older than the oldest brat, and he was simply appalled by the girl's behavior, and the fact that she encouraged her brother and sisters so much.

After three days, Severus took to putting four locking charms on his door, thanking God, Merlin, and the Ministry of Magic for the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry. Of course, he was still fairly suspicious. The behavior he had seen from his cousins over the past fifteen years did not give Severus much hope in the idea that they would respect the decree, so he made sure also to set a few traps.

After four days, Severus realized two things: he was _never_ having children, and he desperately needed a job that paid enough to let him move out.

A rainy, dreary Thursday afternoon saw Severus holed up in his room, trying to read and ignore the shrieks of the youngest of the two children as they were doing something that involved a great deal of running, jumping around, and screeching. There was a tapping at his window, and he glanced up to see a very wet owl hovering outside. He set his book down and opened the window, letting the bird perch on the window sill.

The letter was from Lucius Malfoy; Severus recognized the seal instantly. He opened the letter and read it quickly -- Lucius wanted to see him on Friday night, as his parents were leaving for Egypt on Friday afternoon. He wanted to know if Severus would be able to get away for a few days. As Severus picked up a quill to write a response, accepting the offer, his mind was racing through possible reasons he could come up with to get his parents to, at the very least, not resort to anger and threats that he would leave whilst family was visiting.

He approached his father, who told him to go, enjoy himself, and that he'd talk to Severus' mother -- saying all of this with a glance in the direction of the other room, where the youngest children were playing a very loud game -- and an expression that might have been something akin to envy. Severus spent the afternoon in a fairly good mood, knowing that the next day, he'd get away from there, and hopefully by the time he returned, the extended family would be gone.

And then all hell broke loose at dinnertime.

His mother wasn't angry with him for wanting to leave. Secretly, Severus knew she understood, and probably felt the same way his father did. His uncle immediately started to drown himself in wine, and his aunt was obviously very deeply offended -- she let them all know in no uncertain terms how rude it was of Severus to leave when she was offering to take them all for dinner tomorrow night. He would almost bet that she was jealous that Severus, of all people, was friends with a Malfoy. Then the children started into it, loudly complaining that it just wasn't _fair_ that Severus got to go somewhere when they were stuck _here_.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, Severus grabbed his plate and finished his dinner in the kitchen, then escaped out to the garden to water it and pull weeds. When his cousins were suddenly outside, he escaped back into the kitchen where he set about scrubbing the plates by hand in desperate hope for privacy. When they came streaming into the kitchen from outside, he grabbed his wand, set a charm on everything so that it would all clean itself, and fled up to his room.

He barely slept that night; the youngest two refused to go to bed until well past midnight, and then one, then the other, was awake and stomping around like an impressive herd of elephants at various times until well past five in the morning. They were both awake again at eight o'clock and, after sighing the sigh of the eternally aggravated, Severus made it into the bathroom to wash before anyone else could steal it and spend hours doing god knows what.

Breakfast was a torturous affair; Severus and the other adults sat in stony silence as the children argued with each other about something ridiculous -- about whether strawberry or blackcurrant jam was better. Afterwards, the children all fled into the garden, the adults wandered off to not talk to each other, and Severus charmed the dishes and pans to wash themselves before heading to his room to pack an overnight bag.

Somehow, through sheer force of will perhaps, Severus managed to survive until afternoon.

When he arrived at the Malfoy estate, a house elf told Severus that Lucius was in the kitchen, and took his bag to put it in Lucius' room. Briefly, Severus wondered if the house elves ever talked about their master's behavior, but he dismissed this thought fairly quickly as he headed back towards the kitchen.

Lucius was standing at one of the large windows, staring out into the garden. "I'm glad you could come," he said, before Severus could even greet him.

Severus stepped up next to him. "I'm glad to get away," he says. "I have--"

"I had the most lovely evening last night," Lucius said, not looking at him. "Narcissa and I went to the opera, and do you know, she is really very knowledgeable about music. Also a lovely dresser."

Severus blinked several times, staring at him.

"I think that when Narcissa and I are married," Lucius continued, "I'll have the gardens redone. We could get married here. It would be an excuse to get rid of all these dreadful tapestries of Mother's and replace them with something more to my liking."

As Lucius kept surveying the land outside, Severus stepped back and went to lean against one of the counters, crossing his arms. "Is this why you asked me to come?"

Lucius finally turned and looked at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"Did you invite me here just so you can talk about your latest conquest?" Severus hadn't slept properly in days; he was tired, and he had a headache, and he was not in the mood to listen to these sorts of things. He put one hand on the edge of the counter, curling his fingers around it tightly. His elbow bumped a teacup and saucer.

"Of course I didn't," Lucius said after a moment. Then suddenly his lips twisted, in a little smile. "Why, Severus, don't tell me you're jealous."

"Jealous?" Severus echoed, his voice rather quiet. "Why in the world would I be _jealous_?" He moved his hand back, and his fingers curled around the teacup. "You can stick your prick wherever you bloody well please!"

Lucius blinked as the teacup sailed through the air and crashed at the floor by his feet. "Well, of course I can," he said calmly, "but that doesn't answer my question. Does it bother you?"

"Why the fuck--" the saucer hit the floor; "should I care--" and another nearby plate; "what you do at all?"

Lucius remained standing exactly where he was, staring at Severus as any and all china near the younger man began to crash down onto the floor between them. One eyebrow was arched, and his eyes registered some surprise at this sudden outburst, but he said nothing.

"In fact," Severus was yelling, "you can fuck anyone you want, fucking go anywhere you fucking want, do anything you fucking want because that is just how it bloody well is, and you know, you can tell me to go the hell away whenever you please, or even tell me that you don't want to see me anymore, because that's just how it fucking is!"

He stopped as his hand, which was bleeding, groped around and could find nothing more to throw. He glanced back and noted that, indeed, the countertop was empty. He turned back, and watched as Lucius took a careful inventory of Severus, his bleeding hand, the counter, and the mess on the floor.

"Would you like me to unlock the cabinets so you can start on the china in there? Or perhaps," Lucius said, "you would like to break my mother's tea set?"

Severus reached out and grabbed a napkin to wrap around his hand, blood seeping through the thin white material rather quickly. "You can piss in your mother's tea set."

Lucius rolled his eyes and gingerly stepped through the broken china to reach the counters, opening a drawer and rummaging about in it. "Do you feel better now?"

"Oh, yes," Severus said, "I've always wanted to bleed to death."

After he pulled a small jar and a box from the drawer, Lucius stepped over to Severus and took him by the elbow, leading him over to the table.

"If you'd let me get my wand, I could fix this in a fucking minute," Severus said.

"Just sit down." Lucius pushed down on Severus' shoulder, forcing him to sit, and pulled a chair over to sit in front of him. "I'll see what I can do for you. I'm sure that hurts like hell, and a little bit of this, and then a charm, should make it heal properly, rather than quickly."

"Yes, it does hurt." As he sat, adrenaline receding, Severus suddenly realized just how painful it actually was. A wave of nausea swept over him, leaving tears burning his eyes. He wished Lucius would stop touching him.

Carefully, Lucius unwrapped the napkin from around Severus' hand, dropping the fabric to the floor for an elf to clean when they came out of hiding at some point. He opened the jar and, holding Severus' hand in his, started to spread the ointment over the numerous cuts. "And I'm sure this stings, too, but you see how deep some of these are? It's best to be cautious, Severus, neither of us is a particularly proficient healer. I know this works quickly, and efficiently. It was always kept around in case there wasn't a wand nearby, for whatever reason. Usually when my parents were arguing and my mother was hurling plates at my father's head."

Severus' hand was shaking and his breath uneven. He was startled by the thought of Mrs Malfoy throwing plates -- and of Lucius having to witness it. He remembered too many arguments by his own parents, and simply could not believe that Lucius Malfoy was someone who might have had similar pathetic memories of crying in a corner. Lucius would surely have been above that sort of thing.

The ointment felt like it had set his hand on fire, and he didn't dare to speak.

"I always knew when they were going to have a row," Lucius said softly, carefully turning Severus' hand and inspecting his work. "And so did they. They used to give me their wands and tell me to go up to my room and wait for it to be over. I'd sit on the top of the stairs to the second floor and listen to them. I suppose on some level, they actually do like each other if they've never yet done anything dreadful to one another." Nodding in satisfaction, he closed the jar, and opened the box to pull out some bandages to wrap around Severus' hand. When he finished, he got up and went to wash off his fingers.

They had given their child their wands to make sure they didn't do serious damage to one another? Severus was horrified by this. His own parents had shouted and occasionally destroyed furniture but he didn't think they had even considered using spells on one another, at least not seriously enough for it to be a threat. No wonder Lucius had no interest in any sort of intimacy with his future wife, or anyone else. Severus sat and rubbed the wrist below his throbbing hand, unsure whether it was safe to speak, nor what he would even want to say.

Lucius dried his hands and filled a glass with water before returning to the table. He gave Severus a little smile and sat down again. "Does it feel any better yet?" he asked, reaching for Severus' hand again. He lifted it to his mouth, and pressed a kiss to the inside of Severus' wrist.

Severus' hand trembled violently against Lucius' lips, and the sound of surprise that escaped his own lips was suspiciously like a cry. He turned his face away, but Lucius' other hand came up to make Severus look at him. "Severus," he said softly, and leaned forward to kiss him, gently. Unable to resist, he held absolutely still, hoping desperately that Lucius would pull away and use a spell on his hand. When it became apparent that the other man was not leaving, he tried to make himself pull back, but the hand that reached up to remove Lucius' fingers from his face someone ended up pressing them there and he kissed Lucius back far more aggressively, open-mouthed and needy.

Carefully Lucius pulled Severus to his feet, still kissing him, and Severus just let him -- hardly having any choice in the matter -- though he was still somewhat dizzy. He had to lean against Severus for support, but Lucius didn't seem to mind, holding him against his chest. Someone's heart was pounding, and Severus was startled to discover that it was not his own. He squeezed Lucius' hand, pushing his tongue past Lucius' lips to explore his mouth. They started to move awkwardly through the kitchen, cautious to put their feet on spots not covered in bits of shattered plates. This was extraordinarily difficult, but they were both stubborn, unwilling to let go or stop kissing. Severus wasn't getting enough oxygen, as his nose was congested from -- not tears, sinus pressure perhaps -- and he could not tear his mouth away long enough to breathe.

Lucius stumbled a bit, colliding back first with the doorframe. His arms tightened around Severus, steadying him, and guided him out into the hallway before finally breaking the kiss. He stroked Severus' cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Upstairs?" he asked breathlessly.

Severus moaned at the lack of contact and could only nod and hope that Lucius could get him up the stairs before he collapsed. He had no idea what Lucius was thinking at this point, nor did he care. Lucius continued to hold him as best he could, stealing the occasional kiss as he helped him up the stairs and into his room. He urged Severus down onto the bed, leaning over him to kiss him again. "I should get out my wand," he said softly, but made no move actually to do that.

Severus had forgotten all about his hand, which still throbbed but didn't seem nearly as urgent as aches elsewhere. He pulled Lucius down on top of him, wrapping a leg over his calves to stop Lucius from pulling back, and groaned as he dragged him into another kiss. Lucius didn't pull back; instead he moaned softly into Severus' mouth and pressed up alongside him. "Severus, what do you want?" he whispered, ducking his head to taste Severus' neck.

He would have begged Lucius to fuck him, but that would have taken too long; he would have had to find oil or ointment and prepare him, find a position that wouldn't have put pressure on Severus' aching hand and arm. He decided he wanted Lucius in his mouth, to show him that no matter what anyone else could do for him, none of them did it with the enthusiasm that he, Severus, brought to the task. And he wanted to feel Lucius' mouth on him as well, something he knew Lucius would never do for any of the others -- not even, perhaps, the women. It was all too much to put into words, though, when his thoughts were so scattered. "I want... suck me... come in my mouth..." he tried to explain.

Lucius kissed Severus one more time -- a long, slow kiss, his tongue sliding over Severus' as he stroked his neck and cheek. When he pulled away, he said, "Anything," in a low voice, and rose from the bed to drop his robes to the floor. Severus tried to remove his own clothes, but the bandage on his aching hand made him clumsy and he didn't want to look away from Lucius as he watched him undress. His body was magnificent, and when he crawled onto the bed again, it was almost too much. He knelt at Severus' side and undressed him -- fingers trailing over exposed flesh as he occasionally leaned forward to kiss and lick in the wake of his fingers. His hands shook a little, and he was breathless, and for a brief, exhilarating moment, Severus realized that Lucius really _wanted_ to do this.

"Please -- now," Severus begged, not caring how it must have sounded.

"Shh," Lucius soothed, stroking Severus' face and kissing him again. Then he gently urged Severus onto his side and stretched out next to him, facing the opposite direction. Severus' cock was dripping fluid already; he could feel it on his own skin before Lucius leaned forward and licked it away with the tip of his tongue.

Severus grabbed Lucius much more roughly than he intended and swallowed much more of his cock than was comfortable, but he couldn't help it; he was going to come, fast, and absolutely refused not to show Lucius why he was worth keeping around beforehand. He repressed his impulse to gag by sheer will, gulping around the thick shaft as he tried to move his tongue enticingly, his non-bandaged hand coming up to stroke Lucius' balls. Lucius gasped and cursed colorfully in between licking Severus' cock. "If you -- Severus!" he gasped.

Of course, Severus could not respond; it took all his concentration just to breathe, to force down the overwhelming urge to expel the foreign object from his throat. He was so tense that he managed not to come when Lucius licked him again, though his cock throbbed dangerously in the other man's face. He let the cock slide slowly between his lips before forcing it down again, squeezing his fingers harder than he meant to. This time Lucius yelped.

"Severus, you -- I _can't_ \--" Lucius groaned, loudly, then took Severus' cock into his own mouth, sucking insistently. And Severus could not hold on; he couldn't even groan a warning, though he slid his mouth down Lucius' cock enough to prevent himself from suffocating as he filled Lucius' mouth with come, pumping it in uncontrolled jerks of his hips. He could not remember ever having come so hard; later he would wonder whether this was why people practiced autoerotic asphyxiation. Now he could only think of Lucius.

He couldn't make his throat close around Lucius with the same pressure as before, even though Lucius' fingers were squeezing his hip. His throat would not allow the intrusion again, but he moved his bandaged hand onto the shaft and began to pump in the opposite direction from his mouth, sliding the fingers of his other hand behind Lucius' balls to the exquisitely sensitive spot just above the perineum. There were groans still caught in his vocal chords, pressed down by Lucius' cock, but he forced them into silence, concentrating.

Lucius groaned, shuddered, and his hips jerked helplessly towards Severus. He wrapped an arm around Severus' thighs and held on, thrusting shallowly into his mouth. Another groan and his fingers gripped Severus' thigh. Severus thought he heard Lucius say his name, or part of it, when he began to spurt hot fluid against the roof of his mouth and down his throat. He tried to swallow it all but the irritated tissue of his tonsils rebelled and much spilled back onto Lucius' skin, from which he licked it, slowly and carefully, which had Lucius spasming against him.

Lucius lay there, moaning softly and shuddering for a few moments before his grip eventually loosened on Severus' leg. His fingers trailed lightly over Severus' skin, which felt a little tender. It took several lazy moments before either of them moved; eventually Lucius pulled away enough to squirm around and settle down on the pillow next to Severus, glancing over at him. He was smiling. "You should throw things at me more often," Lucius said.

Severus did not want to speak; he was unsure what to say to that, unsure about Lucius' earlier revelations about his parents, and wondered if perhaps Lucius had treated him badly because it had simply never occurred to him to do otherwise, and thought that these were the ridiculous thoughts of an overwrought mind. He closed his eyes to the warm smile, swallowing, hoping that Lucius would simply let him lie there with their shoulders touching.

Instead, Lucius stretched lazily, and then rolled onto his side again, pressed up against Severus' body. His fingers traced little patterns on Severus' belly, tickling, making Severus squirm. He suddenly didn't know why he felt obligated to lie still, to wait for Lucius to make decisions about what they would do next and what he could get away with. He rolled, sliding an arm around Lucius' waist and letting his face rest beneath Lucius' chin. There was a brief moment, and then Lucius let out a soft humming noise and relaxed against Severus' body, slipping an arm around his back.

Severus said nothing. If they were to talk, he would have to try to figure out what Lucius meant as opposed to what he said. If he could convince him to lie there until Lucius had recovered enough to fuck him, if his hand didn't bleed through the bandages and all over Lucius' thick soft sheets, perhaps they could pretend the events of the afternoon hadn't happened.

"Is your hand all right?" Lucius asked, softly, fingers tracing slowly up and down Severus' spine.

"Yes," Severus lied. He would say nothing that might have made Lucius get up from the bed, remember his wand and his position and his power and never come back to where he was at that moment, casually running his hand over Severus' skin.

"Oh, good." Lucius sighed softly, pressing a little closer. "I don't really think I want to get up right now."

Severus slid one of his legs between Lucius' and moved his arms further around him. Lucius' hair was falling over his shoulder, against his cheek, and he liked the curtain it made between him and the rest of the room. Lucius murmured something unintelligible, resting his cheek against the top of Severus' head. He sounded almost pleased and content. Lucius' skin was damp where they pressed together, but his skin was cool and the nipple Severus could see was stiff, surrounded by wiry hair erect on gooseflesh. It was perfect, Severus thought, the way Lucius' hair was perfect, the way Lucius' skin was perfect, and then he didn't want to think anymore about things that were loans rather than gifts and whether it was worth touching things that might be pulled away.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"I'm -- you'll tell me if your hand starts to hurt again."

"I will?" That was entirely the wrong tone to take. "I will."

"Good. I--don't want you to be uncomfortable." His hand slid down Severus' back, and rested on his hip. "If they can't be repaired using any charms, I'm going to have to replace those plates."

Fuck, Severus thought. He tensed, thinking of the time and expense and all the trouble he had caused. Didn't "Reparo" work well enough on china? He started to pull away, thinking that he left his wand in his robes.

"Though I am quite sure that I can fix them," Lucius added. "Or perhaps one of the house elves already has. On the other hand, this might be a good excuse for us to go out for a little while. I could surprise my parents, I suppose, with a new set or two. Those were quite old."

Severus sat up. Now that he had what he wanted, Lucius apparently couldn't wait to get him out of his bed and out of his house. "I should stop my hand from bleeding on your sheets before we have to replace those, too," he said, and began to slip off the mattress.

Lucius reached out and grasped Severus' shoulder, pushing him back down to the bed. "Don't. I'll get it." He got up and retrieved his own wand from his robes, then went into the bathroom.

Severus sat where he had been ordered to remain, examining the bandage covering the gash in his hand. Blood had crusted the edge of the cloth, which was sticking to the skin. It stung; he knew it would sting more when he tried to peel it away.

When Lucius returned from the bathroom, he was carrying a glass of water, which he set on the table beside the bed. He slid back onto the mattress, sitting across from Severus. "Did you want to go out and do something, at some point?" he asked.

That sounded suspiciously like a hint. "Maybe I should just go home," Severus said. "I have family visiting."

There was a long pause, then Lucius said, "Oh."

"Unless, of course, you need help repairing or replacing the plates. I didn't mean to cause trouble with your parents."

"They probably won't need to be replaced," Lucius said. "I just thought it would be an excuse for us to go out. Do something other than fuck for a little while. I thought you must be getting bored of seeing me without my clothes on."

Was Lucius Malfoy fishing for compliments? Severus thought about making a comment about how that would not happen any time this millennium, but after deciding it would be a bad idea, he went with the change of subject. "Where did you think we could go?"

Lucius shrugged a shoulder. "I've no idea, really. It's just... well, I've probably mentioned this before. When we're not having sex, you start to look and sound like you don't want to be here."

"When we're not having sex," Severus said carefully, "you start to look and sound like you don't want me here."

"But I do."

Severus was unsure what to say to that. "Where did you want to go?" he asked again.

"Nowhere. I want to stay here."

"But you said..." Severus felt as if he was being tested yet again, and found to be slower than most. "We were just. I was comfortable. You said you didn't want to get up. And then you..."

"I didn't want to get up, but you said you should get your wand to heal your hand!"

"Not until you said you had to do something about the plates!"

"I will! I didn't mean right this very instant."

"Well, you must have brought it up for a reason."

"I was trying to think of something to say."

"Because you certainly wouldn't want me to think you might be enjoying yourself just lying in bed with me."

Lucius looked down at the blanket. "I was," he said softly.

"Yes," Severus said sarcastically, "that certainly explains why you wanted to remind me that I destroyed your kitchen in a fit of jealousy earlier."

"It was a stupid thing to say," Lucius said. "I shouldn't have."

Severus shut his eyes, not wanting to know why Lucius had taken the conversation in this particular direction. "Are you going to heal my hand, or shall I?"

Lucius silently reached out and took Severus' hand, turning it over so that the palm was facing up. Gently, he removed the bandage, then cast a healing charm, watching the bleeding stop, and the wound heal itself. Severus could still feel the ghost of the cut deep in the skin.

Stroking his thumb over the back of Severus' hand, Lucius said softly, "I'd apologise for this, but you wouldn't believe it." He lifted the hand to his lips. "I'd tell you that you were good -- that you _are_ good -- but you'd think I was lying. Why are you here, Severus?"

Severus looked at Lucius, chiseled features, hair like golden silk, muscles that three years of work wouldn't give Severus. "Would you believe me if I said any of those things to you?" he asked in a low voice.

Lucius licked Severus' palm, then nodded slowly.

"Then you must... you know," Severus said. "You know how people look at you. Why do you think I'm here?"

Lucius' voice turned bitter. "Just because... of who I am?"

That startled Severus. "No," he said, "it has nothing to do with your name. It's -- your presence. How you speak, and walk, and carry yourself, your confidence -- " Abruptly he realized that he was saying much too much. "Your arrogance, perhaps," he added, but suspected that it was too late to modify the rest.

Lucius considered this for a moment. "Do you mean that?" he asked.

"Well..." Oh, what was the point? "Yes."

Lucius' free hand cupped the back of Severus' neck as he leaned closer. "That's why I want you. Here."

"That doesn't put me in the category of -- what did you call the sniveling lemmings..."

"The simpering lapdogs who come to me only because I'm Lucius Malfoy."

"Why is this any better?" Severus demanded.

"Because you don't simper," Lucius replied firmly. "And you're not an idiot. And you -- " He paused a moment to think. "You're just different," he said finally. "No matter what I may ever say."

"What is it you want from me, Lucius?" Severus hesitated. That wasn't exactly what he wanted to ask. "From us."

Lucius closed his eyes for a long moment. After opening them again, he tried to speak, but nothing seemed to want to come out. Finally he just looked helplessly at Severus.

"Never mind," Severus murmured.

"I..." Lucius looked away. "When we're not screaming at each other, I do quite enjoy what time we've spent together."

"As you've said, we've done almost nothing but..." Severus gestured at the bed, unwilling to choose a term for the activity.

"Well, yes," Lucius admitted, "but I'm not just talking about the past few times we've seen each other. I meant, since we met."

"Even then. I don't really have any idea what it is you do for work. We don't know very much about one another's lives."

"I really had no idea you wanted to know about my life. You are certainly reluctant to hear about how I'm going to have to get married, or to listen to any details about any social events I attend without you."

Severus blinked a few times. "What did you think I wanted?"

"At the beginning, I thought you were just another boy who was willing to do anything I told him to do. And then, after you started to challenge the things I said or did..." Lucius frowned a little. "Severus, I genuinely had no idea what you wanted from me."

Severus thought that perhaps this was because he had no idea whet he wanted, either. "At the beginning I just wanted the experience," he said. That would come as no surprise to Lucius.

Lucius nodded. "I guessed that much. But, Severus..." He paused again, and took a deep breath. He glanced away. "I do rather enjoy the... challenges."

Severus tried to think about how to respond to that. This was a man who had _erased his memories._ He wasn't sure what challenges Lucius meant, nor what level of resistance he might have expected. And he also wasn't sure at what point Lucius would simply become bored with him.

"Sometimes," Lucius continued when Severus didn't say anything. "Sometimes, I say or do things because I know they will make you angry. You don't hide that from me and," Lucius traced the lines on Severus' hand, "I like that. It excites me."

"You like that," Severus echoed blankly. "That I get angry."

"Yes. That probably makes me a rather twisted person, doesn't it?"

"Did you like me smashing all your mother's china?" Severus countered.

"That went much further than I expected it to."

"Oh, you didn't expect that I might just... snap, one day?"

"I never thought that far ahead."

"It didn't occur to you that I might resent hearing about the woman you plan to--" Severus took a deep breath. "It didn't occur to you that you might succeed in making me truly angry?"

"No, Severus, it didn't."

"Why not?"

"I suppose I never really thought about it."

Severus thought for a moment. "I suppose it was a good thing that I reached for a teacup and not for my wand."

"Yes, Severus," Lucius said, and kissed the palm of his hand, "I should say so."


	5. Gamesmanship

The candles floating near the ceiling of Lucius' bedroom had been there on previous evenings, but there seemed to be more of them on this particular occasion, and the scent of roses wafted from the petals scattered about the hearth. The heavy curtains that surrounded the bed hung half-open -- or perhaps half-shut -- conveying a sense of anticipation, like lips parted in surprise. Severus took a breath of the sweet smoky air, also weighty with expectation, and wondered whether Lucius Malfoy had swallowed some sort of aphrodisiac...or if perhaps Lucius was just mocking him with the romantic atmosphere as a prelude to some torment he had plotted.

Lucius led Severus from the doorway to his bed, drawing aside a curtain to invite him to sit. Chocolates and firewhiskey sat on a silver tray on the bedside table, while a glass jar containing a glowing lubricant potion rested in the corner nearest the pillows. With a smile Lucius stretched out on his side on the thick bedcovers, kicking off his shoes as he let his thick blonde hair sweep to the mattress.

"Why don't we do what _you_ want tonight," he told Severus.

Sometimes, when Lucius made such an offer, Severus was certain he did so only to guarantee its inverse. He dared not risk making demands on Lucius and was coming to realize that he felt safest -- and most satisfied -- when he could take the older man's pleasure for granted. The lazy, contented look on Malfoy's face belied his gleaming, predatory eyes, which gave Severus the impression that he was being evaluated rather than granted submission. With half a smile, he asked Lucius, "Are you hoping I will do something so inappropriate that it will give you an excuse to throw me out?"

"Perhaps I'm just tired of being in control." This was an even more dangerous line of conversation. Lucius was always in control. Even when he asked Severus to fuck him, he was in control. He could immobilize himself and remain in control. Lucius' smile and casually fidgeting fingers suggested that he understood this as he continued, "And why do you keep suggesting that I am looking for a reason to be rid of you? If I didn't want you here, you would never make it through my front gates. You are here because I wish you to be here, and I had guessed you wished to be here as well."

"Of course I do." Severus struggled to keep irritation from his voice. Rising, he walked over to the small table with its decanter of whiskey, pouring a glass for himself and another for Lucius. "Though I do sometimes wonder how many others you have waiting in the wings."

"Before you make yourself miserable again over Narcissa Black, I've been thinking about how much fun it would be for us to go out together. I'm sure you know her sister Bellatrix? Not as beautiful as Narcissa, it's true, but not as cold. If you've been curious, the four of us could..."

"I didn't mean Narcissa," interrupted Severus, again trying not to allow himself to become rattled. Lucius was almost certainly joking about trying to arrange a date between himself and any of the Black sisters, who had even more contempt for the Snape family's undistinguished bloodline than did Malfoy himself, for somewhere back in the French branches of their family trees they shared relations. "I'm sure that if you wanted to be rid of me, you would have other distractions. That gardener of yours doesn't only tend your roses, does he? I've seen him watching you. And I'm certain that Goyle..."

"Stop it," Lucius snapped abruptly. "There's a difference between servants and colleagues." The statement came as no surprise, yet Severus was startled at just how much it stung. He had not doubted that Lucius entertained himself with the attractive young men in his employ and some of his parasitic friends, particularly the lanky, mute gardener whose zeal in caring for the blossoms that surrounded the house went beyond ordinary fear of disappointing a Malfoy. Yet to hear it said aloud cut Severus cruelly, and he took a gulp of whiskey to hide his face. As if he understood, Lucius added, in a placating tone, "It's only been when you couldn't be here. It isn't as if I go looking for other people."

"So, as I said, it isn't as if you'd suffer from my absence." The whiskey had burned past Severus' throat but the sting of the words had not abated. "You have plenty of diversions when I can't drop everything and come rushing over to make sure you haven't decided to replace me. Is there anything you truly care about, other than the fame and fortune of the House of Malfoy?"

"If you're so worried that I'll become bored with you, why do you evade every opportunity I give you to take the initiative?" retorted Lucius, sipping his drink. "Honestly, Severus, you always attribute the worst possible motives to anything I do, even when I'm trying to be generous. You're in no danger of my thinking of you as a hanger-on, so take what I offer. You can do anything you like. I won't stop you -- nor will I punish you later."

"Not even if I mess up your precious furniture or your robes or your very expensive curtain tassels?"

"They can be cleaned, or patched up." Reaching across the bed toward the table to put down his empty glass, Lucius leaned close to Severus; his gaze was now positively hungry. "And I never really liked those tassels anyway. You could help me pick out new ones. Something soft, but firm..." Promise gleamed in the pale blue eyes.

"You wouldn't punish me? Even if I put an immobilus spell on you and took you unprepared? Or if I pinned you upside down to the wall and made you suck me like that..."

Lucius' eyebrows had crept toward his hair. "Well, that's creative." He smiled again. "No, I wouldn't punish you. Honestly, are you so afraid of me?"

"You bastard. This has nothing to do with fear." Except, of course, that it did, and Severus struggled to find the words to explain why. "I think you really do want me to do this -- to take you, to enjoy you -- so that when you tell me it will never happen again, I will know exactly what I've lost. You'll have weeks of pleasure listening to me beg. Wasn't that your intention the very first time you used me..."

"Believe whatever you'd like." Lucius' face had grown hard. He had apologized once for wiping Severus' memory of the first time; he would not do so again, and Severus did not think that he was sorry to have sole possession of that most intimate of moments. "I have no plans to tell you that it will never happen again, but if that's what you need to believe, so be it. Now stop making excuses!"

"Damn you! Stop pretending that this is about me. If I don't believe you, it's because you have not often been forthcoming with me!"

"I'll be as forth_coming_ as you deserve," replied Lucius with a wicked grin. Then, growing serious again for a moment, he said, "I'm not forthcoming with _anyone_. This is new to me."

"Fucking is new to you?" Severus demanded, feeling again that he was being mocked. Surely Lucius knew that _he_ had never done anything like what he suspected Lucius was suggesting, dominating another man, and he was being asked to do it by a man who had spent his life mastering others, often merely to gratify his own ego. It didn't help that Severus was achingly hard at the idea -- frightened of it and desperate for it all at once.

Sighing and twisting upright to pour himself more whiskey, Lucius frowned. "Having to negotiate with a lover is new to me," he admitted. Severus was so shocked at the intimate term that he forgot for a moment that it had probably been carefully chosen, calculated to give Lucius his way. "You were right -- finding someone to suck my prick is not difficult. There are any number of people who will do it for me even though they find it demeaning, and a few who seem to treat it as an honor, which is even more pathetic. It's become a meaningless act. You _know_ I had never let anyone fuck me before you. I never wanted it; I never considered it. You believe me, don't you?" He took a long drink, and then put the decanter back on the table.

That much Severus did believe; he took the fact that Lucius would let himself be fucked by him as an indication of how unthreatening Lucius found him. It was also all too easy to recall the first time Lucius had invited him up to these very rooms, for the act that Lucius had just described as meaningless, on which occasion Lucius refused him even the satisfaction of touching him. The older wizard did not go out of his way to cause pain, but he was stingy with pleasure. Severus had no doubt that if Lucius decided he wanted to, he would strike him, pull his hair, put him in chains, even make him lick his own come from Lucius' arse.

Stepping back to the table, he lifted the decanter, drinking straight from it, which he knew Lucius loathed -- Lucius who would rather have fetched him a glass himself if necessary. It might have given some further satisfaction to throw the decanter, but it would have been childish. "You wouldn't object if I wanted to push you face-first against the wall and fuck you raw," he mused aloud, just to see Lucius get angry.

Getting to his feet, Lucius plucked the decanter from Severus' fingers. He put it down, then pressed close, rubbing against Severus' hip through the layers of fabric separating them. "You wouldn't dare," he whispered. "You'd be afraid to do it."

"You've accused me once too often of being a coward," snarled Severus, sinking his fingers into the fabric of Lucius' expensive, lovely robes and tugging too hard on the material. He steeled himself not to wince as he heard the fabric ripping, but Lucius only sneered, reaching up to grab one of Severus' wrists. In a single gesture Severus yanked his wrist free, wrested Lucius' torn robes halfway down his body and shoved against the older man, pushing him back toward the wall. "Do not," he grated, "assume that everyone needs to flaunt his power the way you do."

"Then prove me wrong."

"I don't need to prove anything to you. And regardless of how little you think of me, I don't have anything to prove to myself either." The robes made a very satisfying tearing sound as they fell at Lucius' feet. He wore nothing underneath, which did not surprise Severus, since Lucius took for granted that he could fuck Severus whenever he pleased once Severus arrived at his home. "Stop toying with me!"

"I'm not toying with you," said Lucius with a note of feigned, wounded innocence in his voice. Reaching out, he trailed a finger down Severus' neck. It was very satisfying to surprise Lucius, to grab both his wrists, pinning them against the wall beside his head; it was even more satisfying to feel Lucius resist yet fail to break Severus' hold. When he was certain that Lucius would not break away, Severus pulled one hand back and began to tug at his own robes. He kept Lucius' other wrist pinned lest he should have gotten any ideas about helping him.

"Turn around," he barked.

Obediently Lucius turned, bracing his hands on the smooth dark wood of the wall. "Is this good, Severus? Is this how you want me?" Submission sounded like mockery from Malfoy's lips. Severus pressed close, not gently, and let his teeth scrape along Lucius' shoulder until he heard an indrawn breath. Then he buried his face in the long, sleek hair -- how he enjoyed Lucius' hair, and how he envied it. He took a moment to grab the man's body possessively, stepping on one of his bare feet, running hands up his sides and around to pinch his nipples until Lucius tilted his head back against Severus' shoulder, letting out a whimper.

Severus was in no mood for games. He was feeling quite aggressive and quite uncomfortable, standing at the edge of Lucius' valuable Oriental rug, rumored to be a fragment of the legendary flying carpet from the _Tales of the Arabian Nights_ \-- though Severus suspected that had been a simple _wingardium leviosa_ spell performed for uncomprehending Muggles. His cock rested between Lucius' buttocks, squeezed pleasantly in that warmth; they stood thigh to thigh with Lucius' hair draped over his chin and chest like a soft, sleek blanket. Heart speeding until he could feel it in his throat, Severus reiterated, "Anything I want?"

Shamelessly, Lucius rubbed himself back against Severus, closing his eyes and moaning, "Anything." There were still things, Severus knew, that were not included in _anything_. But Lucius believed that he was a coward, and Lucius had promised that there would be no penalty. His knees were tense, on the verge of trembling; he shoved them forward, banging Lucius' knees into the wall with a dull thud against the wood. The nipple under his fingers had grown stiff, and he tugged at it again, pressing his face into Lucius' hair where it cascaded between them. The older man cried out and writhed, breath coming in panting little gasps. His lack of resistance was excruciatingly arousing.

No need for a struggle, then. The wand was trapped in Severus' twisted, half-discarded robe, but an accio spell brought it to his hand. The little jar of lubricant was also out of reach but the charm that served the same purpose fell from his lips from memory. Then his cock surged forward, pressing Lucius open without the slightest preparation. "I _should_ fuck you dry," he snarled at Lucius, only to be rewarded by a ragged moan as Lucius rose up on tiptoe, trying to sink down onto Severus with his weight balanced against his splayed palms on the wall.

"Yes," Lucius gasped, thrusting his hips back invitingly and glancing over his shoulder. "Fuck me hard. Make me _taste_ you." Part of Severus was sorry to have him agreeing so quickly, without protest or begging, but a far greater compulsion demanded nothing other than to shove himself into Lucius and fuck him until he came hard. And Lucius was waiting, eager; _fuck him...fuck it all_, Severus thought, or rather tried not to think, as his hips lifted and his cock slid deep into the unresisting channel.

Lucius' head fell back and his mouth opened on a loud, drawn-out cry. He tried to escape by leaning forward, but Severus' hands were on his hips, holding him still. Whimpering, he covered one of Severus' hands with his own. "Please. Now. Oh..." he whispered shakily, as though he wasn't sure whether to ask for release or more of the same. Severus' first few thrusts were brutal, crushing Lucius against the wood of the wall, and Lucius' shouts only made him more urgent. He slid a hand from Lucius' hip to his cock, pumping him, as his own body jerked, pelvis tightening with tension and need.

With his fingernails clawing scrapes into the smooth polished wood of the wall, Lucius thrust into Severus' hand, occasionally uttering nonsensical babble that might have been begging but Severus could not spare the concentration to listen. As he had expected, Lucius was fucking _him_, jerking his own body forward and back along Severus' cock, which would have been arousing enough even without the pleading. "Fuck me, fuck me," groaned Lucius, and something that might have been "yours" or "whore" -- Severus did not care which, it was too much. Yanking hard on Lucius' cock, he roared a curse as he slammed upward into the tight channel, desperate to imprint himself on his lover.

The muscles of Lucius' arse clenched Severus, making him cry out as loudly as Lucius. There was hot liquid spraying over his hand, shooting up his arm and dripping onto the floor. Then the clamping let up, Lucius' knees slumped forward against the wall, and Severus thrust into him again. He thought that Lucius would remain in control even then, ordering him to lick his hand clean, calling him his little slut; and perhaps Lucius would have been right, for Severus pulled his dripping fingers not to his own lips, smearing Lucius' come across his face, sucking it off his fingers, moaning at the taste smell feel as he pumped into Lucius one last time while his cock erupted.

Lucius slumped heavily against the wall, gasping for breath. They stayed as they were for several long, dizzying moments, with Severus pressed against Lucius' back, the wall supporting them both. When Severus eventually tried to move away, Lucius' knees gave out and he all but crumpled to the floor, leaning with one shoulder against the wall, staring up at Severus. The older wizard looked unexpectedly vulnerable, kneeling on the stained carpet, panting. Severus had started to reach for him when he was gripped by an impulse to fall to his knees at Lucius' side, to put his arms around him, to bury his face against his shoulder...to kiss him, thank him, apologize, hold him. All things he dared not do.

Stiffly he extended a hand, not quite close enough to draw Lucius to his feet, if Lucius was, indeed, ready to stand. "Are you hurt?" he asked tightly.

Lucius didn't move. His eyes darted to Severus' hand, then closed as he leaned his head back. "I...don't know." Towels, wand, blanket, Severus thought in no particular order. He knew that he should move to get these things. He did not, and Lucius, watching him, licked his lip. "Was it good for you?" he inquired.

Severus found that he could not answer. He nodded, closing his eyes, and his own knees refused to hold him anymore; he dropped onto them on the rug, reaching out instinctively to Lucius for balance, and taking hold of his arms, Lucius pulled him close.

"That was just what I wanted," he said, pressing his face against Severus' neck, which sent his hair cascading over Severus' shoulder once more. Turning, Severus rubbed the cool softness against his cheek before he realized that Lucius might think he was...snuggling. He felt Lucius' cheek brush against his own, Lucius' fingertips moving over his back, and pulled away, flushed with embarrassment, while an inquiring eyebrow cocked above Lucius' pale blue eyes.

Severus' throat felt sore from shouting and he did not trust it not to betray him the way his body had. He wanted to explain that _he_ hurt, though not in the way he had meant when he asked Lucius; a nameless ache was traveling through his gut like a cramp, giving him chills. He could see the other man's embarrassment, sensed Lucius retreating already, and what else could he have expected, after all? Gritting his teeth, he pushed himself upright, using the wall for support. "Wait here, I'll get my wand."

"I wasn't planning on going far," Lucius replied with a surprising lack of sarcasm in his words. Severus forced himself to turn before he became lost in staring at his beautiful, soiled lover, a creature more glorious in debauchery than Severus would be even if he found himself dressed in the robes of a prince. His wand lay where it had fallen, and while he might easily have summoned it with an accio command, he felt compelled to move -- to put some space between himself and the man gazing up at him. Aiming at Lucius without looking directly at him, he leaned against the side of the bed and muttered one spell to scourgify, another to alleviate pain.

"Thank you," Lucius murmured. "Don't you want to look at me, Severus? Didn't you want that from me?" Biting the inside of his lip where Lucius would not be able to see, Severus met his gaze. He could not tell whether he was being mocked or not. Finally moving a little, Lucius let his back rest fully against the wall. He spread his legs, lifting his knees and draping his arms over them. "What's the matter? You're not regretting this already?"

Yes, he was surely being mocked. "I was regretting it before I'd done it."

"But I don't regret it at all." With a frown Lucius pushed himself to his feet. "And I'm sorry that you do. You sounded as if you enjoyed it. And I meant what I said before -- I have never intended to make you sorry for it."

Severus glanced away, at the mess that remained -- Lucius' torn robes, scratches in the dark wood of the wall. "It felt good," he admitted, and blushed scarlet. "But...is _this_ what you want, Lucius?"

"Certainly not all the time," Lucius replied, approaching him slowly. "But this, and everything we've done...it's what I want. I don't know why you think I'm hatching some terribly complicated scheme to humiliate or leave you. Surely you must realize that if it became known, my position would be compromised far more than yours. There is ease here, and I had hoped that you could trust me at least a little. Have I made that impossible?"

Lucius was looking directly into his eyes, which Severus knew was a technique essential to Legilimency; he would know if he was lying. "I don't know," he replied helplessly.

"I wish you would. We both want this, don't we? I want it to continue. It's very simple, really. I like things that way."

Simplicity for Lucius would be a wife, thought Severus. Marriage to one of the Black sisters, rutting to sire an heir, and the rest...servants, whores, the silence the Malfoy money would buy. Perhaps Lucius took it for granted that he could have Severus on these terms indefinitely. And was that any better than being his whore? "There is nothing simple about this," he gestured helplessly in the air between them, "for me." And why, he asked himself, was it not enough? Why wasn't he happy? "Even if we do both want this..." His voice trailed away.

"What?" Lucius reached for him, tugging him close, his voice cajoling.

_If you were mine..._ thought Severus. And stopped thinking, wrapping his arms around Lucius, hiding his face in the other man's skin. He did not want to think.

"Severus..." Lucius brushed a kiss to his forehead, stroking fingertips down his back. "You worry too much. Now come to bed." With a gentle nudge he tried to push Severus onto the mattress.

"I need to wash," protested Severus; while scourgifying Lucius and his wall and floor and robes, he had left out his own thighs and groin. Nodding, Lucius stroked his cheek, then used an accio command to summon his wand. He cleaned Severus thoroughly, leaving him tingling.

"Have I treated you so terribly?" Lucius asked lightly.

"I don't know why you keep asking me that," replied Severus with a twinge of irritation in his voice. "Have I suggested that you have been terrible to me?"

"No, but your reactions to things make me curious."

Severus sighed. "This is your house. Your space, your time, your rules."

"Then send your parents away and we'll do it in your house."

"That's easy for you to say; _your_ parents have two other houses." Was it possible that Lucius simply did not realize how different their lives were? Severus did not want to bring up just how poor his family was by comparison, and how cramped their quarters.

"My parents..." Lucius took his hand, drawing him closer on the bed. "My parents will have been married for twenty-five years, two weeks from today. I think they're happiest in separate houses, so they don't have to keep up appearances. Still, I'm planning to send them to the Greek Isles for a few weeks as an anniversary present. Would you like to stay with me while they're gone?" Severus nodded before he could begin to wonder if it was wise, or what he would tell his own parents. "Good." Wrapping his arms around Severus' chest, Lucius nuzzled his neck. "We'll have more time together. We can visit London, and perhaps some museums, and if you'd like perhaps we can take out Narcissa and Bellatrix and you'll see the amusements of dating a Black. And there are some other people whom I would like you to meet; I'll have be sure to arrange a little gathering."

Severus had stiffened all over. "What people?"

"Friends," Lucius murmured. "A few associates of mine." Often Severus managed to make himself forget that, unlike himself, Lucius had other friends -- wealthy, powerful friends, people with expectations and ambitions far beyond his own. "I've told them about you, your talents, your ideas. I told you that you are an asset, and they agree with me." The pleasure at being invited to stay vanished; even now, Severus thought, Lucius was mocking him. Pulling out of the embrace, he sat stiffly at the side of the bed, wondering whether he dared reach for the decanter of whiskey. He might have known that Lucius was using him for something other than sex. He could not imagine what Lucius had in mind for him.

Lucius frowned, sitting beside him. "I have been working hard for you, Severus. I've wanted you to be part of this from the beginning...a new order. I think it's finally going to happen. Things are changing. You must have noticed." Severus peered at him, uncertain whether even Lucius would joke about such things. He had heard rumors, some plausible, some outrageous, about a rising challenge to the Ministry of Magic from within, and a Slytherin wizard said to be consolidating power...but he never associated such _Quibbler_-type stories with Lucius. "We -- all of us -- we're going to change everything. Rebuild, create balance and bring the wizarding world back into the hands of the worthy. I want you with me."

Severus gaped. "Into the hands of the worthy?" Of course his parents believed that Mudbloods had no business in the Ministry or its schools, and there was no question that too many untrained, incompetent wizards had taken over some of the highest posts, from overseeing St. Mungo's to refereeing Quidditch. But there were also some very powerful wizards -- Albus Dumbledore, for one -- who believed that the way to bring balance was to bring in new blood rather than bolstering the proud history of the pureblood families.

"Those of us whose blood is pure, whose families go back generations...we should not have to have our histories soiled by the presence of Mudbloods and Muggle-sympathizers, nor our positions stolen from us." Severus considered the purebloods he knew well, but the first face to come into his mind was the arrogant sneer of Sirius Black; Gryffindor though he might have been, his bloodline was much more distinguished than that of the Snape family. "We will restore order, of course. And cleanse the world of those who disgrace the name of wizard."

These were not comforting words. "Cleanse the world? How?" he demanded.

"By any means necessary. Severus, I want you on our side."

If Lucius had said that he wanted Severus at _his_ side, Severus thought that he would not have hesitated. Yet there was an "our" now -- people he did not know, whom he resented simply for their existence. What claim did they have on Lucius? Or on himself? He shrugged noncommittally, pulling his feet up onto the bed to ward off the chill that had not left the room.

Lucius reached out and took hold of Severus' wrist. "With _me_. I want you with me." Severus turned slowly, knowing that his face was too open.

"I am with you," he replied quietly. "I have been with you."

Lucius trailed a finger down Severus' cheek. "I know," he said, simply, and pulled him down to his side on the bed.


	6. Untidy

Severus Snape was sitting in Lucius Malfoy's living room, nibbling on cheese and drinking water, when Lucius suddenly made an announcement that very nearly caused Severus to choke:

"You've never offered to let me piss on you."

"Uhh," stammered Severus. It was true that he had never offered, for that was not the sort of thing he believed that one casually suggested. Though he had watched Lucius piss -- surreptitiously, he thought -- when they shared a bathroom, and he would have been lying if he said he had never entertained the thought, though he did not know how he gave himself away, of Lucius pushing him down and doing it to him, _on_ him...

"I assumed that if you wanted to, you would just do it," he scowled before his face could grow any warmer.

Lucius smiled wickedly. "I would never do anything you didn't want me to do," he told Severus, who glared back.

"You've already done many things I didn't want you to do!"

"I have? Oh, dear." Lucius smirked. "Anyway," added Severus defensively, "You've never said you wanted to piss on me."

"I'm saying it now," purred Lucius.

"Oh." Severus swallowed, waiting to see if Lucius was going to ask for permission, but Lucius merely continued to smile patiently. "N-_now_? I, uh," he struggled for something to say to stall, to turn the mood or perhaps embarrass the unflappable older man. "I didn't know if you needed to piss."

Lucius' brow wrinkled. "Actually, I don't." Without breaking eye contact with Severus, he lifted his water glass, drained it in one gulp and refilled it from the carafe.

"Well, I'll just," Severus tried for dignity, "be over here, reading the _Prophet_."

"Mmhmm," agreed Lucius, with his mouth on his rapidly emptying glass.

Severus attempted to read, squirming, appalled at how hard he had become. It was difficult to hold the paper when his hands wanted to tremble. "Why, exactly, do you want to piss on me?"

"Because," Lucius said thoughtfully, softly. "You're mine."

The words made Severus gulp, and his hands did shake. He folded the _Daily Prophet_ and put it down on the table. "How very...animalistic of you." He took another deep breath. "If you don't mind my asking...where are you planning to do it?"

"Hm," pondered Lucius, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe upstairs. Bathroom."

"Ah. That is, I meant where on me."

The look that Lucius swept over Severus was excruciatingly arousing; Severus tried discreetly to wipe his palms on the fabric seat of the chair. "I'm not sure," the older wizard smiled knowingly. "Maybe your chest?"

"Why my chest?"

"It seems as good a place as any." Lucius leaned closer, conspiratorially. "You could kneel in front of me..."

Severus' imagination sparked to life. He could feel the cool tile under his knees, the warmth radiating from Lucius' naked body, then the scalding stream as it came out, running down his chest, tickling over his nipples, flowing down his abdomen into his groin...heat rose in his face and he had to wipe his palms dry again. "You could do it...almost anywhere...with me kneeling in front of you."

"That's true," Lucius said as if this hadn't even occurred to him, smiling at Severus like a teacher proud of a clever pupil. "Perhaps I could do it on your belly. Or...lower, if you'd like." The older man's eyes moved, following the direction of his suggestion, so that Severus had to shift to hide his erection. "I thought perhaps I could try to make this enjoyable for you. Hmm? What do you think?" Lucius reached out and tugged him closer. "Do you want me to piss..." His hand slid down Severus' belly and covered his cock. "Here?"

The gentle touch made Severus jolt several inches out of his chair. "Oh," he gasped. "I don't, well, if you're going to do it anyway, I suppose that's as good a place as any."

Lucius pulled Severus even closer. "You don't...what? You don't want it?"

It took a few hard breaths before Severus could answer the question. "Am I...supposed to want it?" The eyes on him were relentless. "Well, of course if _you_ want it, then I'm willing to...try it..."

"That's not what I asked." The warm hand stroked Severus' cock through his clothing. "Do. _you_. want. it." And the fingers squeezed.

"Aah!" Severus' cry was embarrassingly loud. "I can't think with you doing that." Instantly Lucius stepped back, pulling his hand away. "Where are you going?"

Lucius clasped his hands in front of himself and smiled. "I'm giving you plenty of space so that you can think."

"What do you want me to think for?" Severus snapped.

"I sometimes ask myself that question." Lucius laughed loudly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"That isn't fair. I said you c..." Severus halted, realizing that he still hadn't _asked_ Lucius to do it, which was unquestionably what Lucius wanted. He amended, "I didn't say you couldn't."

"Oh." Bright eyes were taunting him. "So you actually _don't_ want it?"

"I...don't mind..." And it _wasn't_ fair. "This was your idea. I'm not going to beg for it!" Lucius raised an eyebrow and shifted again, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Why does everything have to be _my_ responsibility!"

"Very well. If you expect me to make your decisions for you..." Lucius lunged, took hold of Severus' arm and led him upstairs.

Severus allowed himself to be pulled, protesting all the way. "I didn't say I expected you to make my decisions for me! Though you often do make my decisions for me! What would you do if I said no?"

"I would try to convince you to change your mind. By asking if you were absolutely certain you didn't want it."

"What does it matter to you what I want?"

Lucius whirled. "What have I forced on you?"

"I never would have _thought_ about this if you hadn't asked!" That was, of course, a lie. What was true was that Severus would never have thought that he might actually get to have it, and _that_ was what seemed so cruel, the acknowledgment wrested from him when this had all been Lucius' plan.

"That is different than forcing you, isn't it?" Lucius' eyes were cold, hard, and he gripped Severus' arm tightly. "If I were to force you, I wouldn't _ask_ if you wanted something. I would _make_ you do it. I would rip off your robes, shove you to your knees, and do whatever it was that I pleased. Have I done that?" Severus' knees were shaking; he shook his head as well. "Is that what you want me to do, so it isn't your responsibility? Hmm? I thought you didn't want to be my whore."

Mouth dry, palms drenched, Severus choked out, "You can't pay most whores for _this_. Besides, _you_ said you wanted to do it. To prove that I'm...I'm yours."

The hand gripping Severus' arm relented suddenly, and Lucius smiled approvingly. "Very good point," he nodded, again speaking as mentor to protégé. "So take off your robe, and get on your knees."

With incredible difficulty, Severus began to remove his clothes, fumbling at the fastenings because his hands wouldn't hold still. Lucius didn't bother trying to help, removing his own robes gracefully and hanging them on the back of the door. "In the bathtub," he ordered. "It'll be easier to clean up that way."

"W-won't the house elves do it?"

"Do you want them to clean _you_?" The eyes darkened as Lucius squirmed, and Severus realized that the older man was genuinely uncomfortable. "_In_, Severus," he pointed at the tub.

Severus got in and Lucius followed, pushing him to his knees. He bit back a whimper as Lucius traced his lips with his finger.

"_Do_ you want it?"

"Yes." For a moment Severus let his eyes close, blocking out the overwhelming image of Lucius standing over him; then he opened them again, terrified, but not wanting to miss anything. Lucius was very nearly frowning, eyebrows drawing together, but he waited, waited, and Severus trembled with want that he suspected was as great as Lucius' need to empty his bladder. "Please don't make me beg."

The other man's face relaxed a fraction, and his lips curled as his fingers wrapped around his cock. "Good boy," he said. "I won't make you...but you may if you like." He let out a soft sigh as he let go, and the sound of his relief was nearly as erotic as the feel of the stream that hit the middle of Severus' chest, spilling down his body. Lucius' piss was scalding hot and smelled of musk and firewhiskey and ammonia, like a potion to ward off predators, not entirely unpleasant.

Severus moaned, grabbing his own cock and squeezing it, unable to keep from arching upward into the spray. "Please..." he whispered, not meaning to. Then Lucius aimed lower, over Severus' cock. "Lucius...ahh...hot...fuck..." He writhed in the steady flow, its sharp scent burning his nostrils, trying not to jack himself off, but his hand was moving.

Lucius let out an undignified whimper as the stream trickled away and he dropped to his knees in front of Severus. He reached out and wrapped his fingers in Severus' hair, pulling him forward for a hard, demanding kiss. Severus launched himself at the other man, even though he thought Lucius might kill him for touching him when he was so dirty; he was frantic to get his cock in contact with Lucius' skin. Awkwardly, Lucius tugged him onto his lap, clutching at his hips. "Come for me, Severus. Come _on_ me."

That was all it took; with a cry, Severus came so hard he hit Lucius' chin, and continued to pump over his chest and belly. Lucius shuddered, wrapping his arms around Severus' back and pressing his face against his neck.

"Oh," moaned Severus. "I'm sorry. I'm...I didn't mean to touch you..."

"Shhh." Lucius squeezed his hand between their bodies and grasped his own cock. "Merlin's balls, Severus. You're... you're..." He groaned.

"I know. I'm filthy. I'm shameless." Severus kissed the side of Lucius' face, not daring to try to kiss his mouth. "Let me..." He nudged his fingers between Lucius' on his cock, stroking.

"In -- in desperate -- oh fuck! -- need of...a bath!" Lucius took Severus' head in his hands and kissed him as he thrust shallowly into his hand.

"Yes...oh...let me..." Severus lowered his head and sucked the tip of Lucius' cock into his mouth. He couldn't get much more of it at that angle, but he licked enthusiastically. Then Lucius came with a grunt, spurting over his lips and chin, grabbing the edge of the tub to keep from collapsing back against the faucet. Licking around his own lips and Lucius' cock, Severus' head rubbed against Lucius' belly, covered in fluid from both of them; he would have tasted it if he dared, if he had not thought Lucius would call him a whore.

Lucius dropped his hand to Severus' head again. He spoke softly. "Look at the mess we made." Severus moaned, decided that he was past the point of shame and took a long swipe of his tongue over Lucius' abdomen. The taste made his tongue curl, bitterly salty slick liquid, yet he swallowed it, the flavor of both of them mixed together.

Lucius groped behind himself to turn on the tub, then jumped, crashing into Severus' chin. "Aagh! Cold!" Without a wand, Severus had no way to warm up the water using a spell, but he held on to Lucius as the tap slowly heated the water. "Thank you," Lucius murmured, reaching for the soap and a sponge in a recessed compartment in the tile wall. He washed himself, and then, almost as an afterthought, washed Severus as well.

"You didn't mind that I...got it all over you?" Severus asked uneasily. "I thought you wanted me in the tub so there was no chance that you'd have to touch me until I was clean."

"Mmm..." Lucius twisted Severus around so that his back was against the older man's chest. Leaning forward, he sucked on Severus' neck. "You're very good to me. You'll do nearly anything I ask." Lathering his hands again, he rubbed suds over Severus' chest. "Why?"

"I. Oh. Not _anything_."

"Hmm...now, what have you refused me that I really wanted?"

Severus tried to think. "You haven't asked for very much that's...terribly dangerous, or offensive..." Of course most people would have considered what they just did highly offensive, but Severus was not most people, as Lucius seemed well aware.

"True." The hands continued to cover Severus in soap. "But what I _have_ asked you, you've not denied me. You could have. I've asked for some...decidedly 'different' sorts of things."

Severus was glad that he was not facing the older man, so eye contact was not possible. "Well, maybe I have...'different' tastes than most people." Suddenly he felt defensive again. "Am I not putting up enough resistance? Is it only fun for you if I have to be persuaded?"

"No, no...I quite enjoy it when you spread your legs and beg for me," Lucius chuckled, and said almost affectionately: "Slut."

It was difficult for Severus to know whether to be offended or not. "Why did you want me to ask for this?" he demanded.

"Because I wanted to hear you say 'Yes.'"

What he meant, thought Severus, was that he wanted to hear how very much Severus wanted it. "Yet you have contempt for anyone you find submissive. Do you not find that submissive? Being...marked like that?"

"I do not have contempt for you, if that's what you're asking. You _fight_ me, Severus. You argue and you question and you are so fucking _stubborn_. I'm not sure I'd qualify this as submissive behavior. Would you?"

Severus squirmed under the soapy fingers drifting in an unconscious pattern, or perhaps a conscious one -- a spell in soap written on his skin. "I suppose not. But...you wanted me on my knees. And I let you. I _enjoyed_ it."

"So did I. Couldn't you tell? That's the quickest I've come since I was a teenager." With the sponge, Lucius started wiping the soap from Severus' body.

"Yes, but you were...dominating me. Standing over me. Doing...that."

"But you didn't get on your knees and beg me to piss on you the instant I said I wanted to."

Severus twitched hard. Quietly he asked, "If I had, would you have done it?"

"No. Does that disappoint you?"

"I could have," Severus admitted in a low voice. "Does that disappoint _you_?" He turned, but Lucius was looking down.

"I'm not sure." Abruptly he found his face under scrutiny. "Are you trying to analyze me again, Severus?"

"I'm trying," he began. "Not. To ruin things."

Lucius looked startled. "I see." Severus sighed, then took the soap from him and lathered his own hands, tentatively brushing them over Lucius. "Why are you -- " Lucius paused before trying again. "You're worried about ruining things?"

"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a balance between not being overly submissive and making you angry?"

"This again?" Lucius sighed.

Severus looked at him for a long moment. "Never mind," he said and went back to scrubbing perfunctorily.

"And now you're going to sulk."

"Now, as I do at least twice a week, I am going to wonder if today will be the day when you decide that you've tired of me. That I haven't read you perfectly this time, and I've said yes too quickly or no too quickly or asked for something you've decided that I shouldn't have." He squeezed the soap too hard and it flew out of his hand, into the tile wall.

Lucius caught the soap before it hit him in the head after bouncing off the wall. Wordlessly he handed the soap back to Severus and didn't say anything for a moment. "I've no plans to tire of you," he said eventually.

Severus made a low clucking noise. "Shouldn't tell me that. I might get careless. Next time you make a suggestion I might acquiesce too quickly, or fight until you're truly angry."

"Then I'll just send you to bed without dessert for being naughty." Pulling Severus close, Lucius kissed him, making the task of getting him clean much more difficult. "I've grown quite used to you, you know."

Comfortable, for Lucius, could so easily turn to boredom; Severus could not relax even in his arms. There was only one certain cure for boredom with Lucius, and that was to arouse him.

Recent flashback, then, to his latest kink. "It's a shame," Severus prodded, "there's such a stigma attached to this act. The physical sensation is quite striking. Piss is so much warmer than one expects it to be. And more concentrated, not at all like a shower."

Lucius' eyebrows lifted practically to his hairline. "Indeed," he intoned.

"And, you know, the look on your face."

"What look?"

"Well, it's complicated. Relief, I suppose, and triumph. But also just a bit...wicked." Lucius was watching him intently now, with parted lips and an odd expression; Severus knew the conversation was exciting him. "How did it feel to you?"

"...good," said Lucius, considering. "'Wicked,' I suppose. Arousing."

"It probably feels stranger to be on the receiving end." Lucius shifted restlessly, and Severus felt a tiny, exultant grin threaten in the corners of his mouth. "Am I embarrassing you? You looked uncomfortable for a moment."

"Not...uncomfortable," demurred Lucius. "This water is getting cold."

"Do you want to get out of the tub?"

"Not...really."

That surprised Severus, who had thought he was getting close to being fucked over the sink, or the desk, or if he was lucky, in Lucius' enormous bed with the heavy tapestries and the metal posts. "Perhaps you have stronger Slytherin blood, but I think my skin is going to peel off if we stay in here much longer." Moreover, he needed to relieve himself.

"Do you want...Severus..." Very uncharacteristically, Lucius fell silent.

"Do I want...?"

"To. Do what I... Fuck. I can't say it. To...do what I...did to you."

Severus gaped, unable to close his mouth. "Do I...to...you mean on you?" Lucius nodded shortly, looking away. "Oh. Ah." He suddenly understood why they were still sitting in dirty, chilly water. "_Now_?"

"If you -- I mean. If you don't -- have to -- then we can certainly do it another time."

"I have to quite urgently, actually. But if you...want time to think about it..."

"No. No, I don't want to think about it."

Severus put a hand on the side of the tub and pushed himself upright, facing away from Lucius. "Perhaps this isn't a good idea. If you're going to be sorry afterward..."

"I won't. It's just that I'm sure if I don't do it now, I won't later, because I'll start telling myself all the reasons why we shouldn't have done it at all. Fuck. Severus. I want you to."

Severus turned slowly and looked down at Lucius, who was still waist-deep in water. "We're going to have to start the bath all over," he pointed out.

Licking his lip, Lucius looked up at Severus. "What a pity."

There were goosebumps on Severus' body now that he was standing out of the warm water. "Pull the drain plug," he suggested.

Lucius twisted around to pull the plug and the water started to swirl away. He watched it for a moment, then turned to Severus again, sitting back more comfortably on his heels. "Are you nervous?" he asked. Severus nodded shortly, his eyes moving back and forth between Lucius and the draining water. "Don't be." Lucius trailed a hand up Severus' leg. "I won't bite."

Severus jumped as if Lucius had, in fact, bitten his thigh. "Just tell me how you want it."

"How about just the way I did it to you?"

"It may..." Severus barked a short laugh. "There may be quite a lot."

"That's all right." Lucius swallowed, looking down and then up again, shivering. "Let it out, Severus."

Severus' cock twitched at the command as if it could hear. He reached for it, trying to keep from getting hard, brow furrowing in concentration, and his eyes closed briefly. "Would you mind...not looking, at first?"

Lucius closed his eyes. "Just do it to me." His hands balled into fists at his sides. Severus gulped in a deep breath, braced his feet against the sides of the tub and splayed the fingers of his free hand on the tiles to steady himself. A stream jetted out of his cock, stuttered as if it knew it was being naughty, then resumed forcefully, sending tiny spatters ricocheting off the skin of Lucius' belly. It felt astonishingly good.

Lucius' body jerked and he knelt up a little higher. He didn't make a sound, didn't open his eyes, but his hand flew up to grasp the edge of the tub. The flood continued, its loud hiss echoing in the quiet room. Severus breathed through his mouth, very nearly panting. He was aiming at Lucius' groin, watching the skin turn pink under the hard, hot flow which poured over Lucius' cock and down his thighs.

Lucius opened his eyes, slowly raising them to Severus' face. His free hand reached for his cock, wrapping his fingers around the base, stroking slowly. He sucked in a breath, then moaned, very softly. "Severus..."

"I can't stop," gasped Severus in terror, pissing hard, hips thrust forward. Oh, he would not have stopped if he could have...

"Don't," Lucius said, his voice strained, "don't. Oh -- fuck."

Severus' knees were trembling; he braced one foot more firmly against the edge of the tub and slid damp, slippery fingers across the wall tiles. He was staring from Lucius' face to his cock and the golden current streaming between their bodies. As Lucius' hand moved in a more urgent rhythm on his cock, his breath started to come in little gasps, drawn in through his open mouth. His eyes dropped from Severus' face down to Severus' cock, and he let out a ragged groan.

"Oh," whimpered Severus. The stream faltered, resumed again as a trickle, and he collapsed on one knee against the side of the tub, leaning his cock close to Lucius', holding on to his shoulder for support as he sprayed a final burst onto him.

A cry tore from Lucius as he came, spurting over his hand, his belly, over Severus -- and, gasping, he leaned forward to rest his head on Severus' shoulder. Severus did not speak, perhaps could not speak. His face dropped into Lucius' soft hair, the hand that held his cock pulling away to slide over Lucius' arm to his back.

Lucius' arms snaked around Severus, holding him tight. Someone was shaking -- and Severus suspected that it wasn't himself. He felt as if he should say something, but nothing sensible came to mind.

"Do you want me to turn the water on?" Severus asked finally in a voice that hardly sounded like his own.

"Should -- wash. Yes." But Lucius made no move to allow Severus to go anywhere, even if it was mere inches behind him.

Undisturbed now by his bladder, Severus' cock stirred again, prodding insistently against Lucius' belly. He tried to shift back, but Lucius was holding him tightly. Finally Lucius pulled back. His face looked hot, and the look he gave Severus was almost, but not quite, shy. "I'll get cleaned up," he said, "and then we can do something about this." His fingers teased lightly over Severus' cock.

Severus choked out a noise and fought the urge to rub his cock in Lucius' face, demanding that he suck it, _now_...he pulled his shaking fingers from Lucius' skin, looked at the yellow liquid pooling at the bottom of the tub, and said, "Let me," reaching over Lucius to the taps, which were comfortably cool and solid in his hands.

Lucius twisted around, reaching for soap and sponge, and cleaned himself as quickly as he could with still-shaking hands. "I -- want you to fuck me," he muttered, looking down as he wiped his belly.

Severus nodded; he did not think that he could speak, neither to question nor to thank Lucius. He took the sponge and swiped it across his thighs and cock, then wrung it out, leaving it on the side of the tub. After rising shakily to his feet, Lucius reached for the towels, handing one to Severus. "Did you like it?" he asked.

Severus had needed to piss so badly that he had been practically cross-eyed when he stood up in the tub; when the first jet shot out of him, and he watched Lucius arch into it, it was almost as powerful as coming, thrilling in a way he couldn't have anticipated. It had gone on utterly beyond his control, and he had thought for an awful minute that Lucius would tell him to stop it which he hadn't thought he could do even for long enough to redirect the stream into the drain, and then the way Lucius had _looked_ at him...

"Severus?" Lucius reached out and pushed the hair back from his face. "Are you still with me?"

"It was...an intense experience," he managed to say as he roughly dried his skin, leaving it red and blotchy.

Then suddenly Lucius grinned wickedly and replied, "It was, wasn't it?" Dropping his towel on the floor, he tugged on Severus' wrist, pulling him into motion and guiding him out to the bedroom.. "Now come and fuck me." Severus followed, letting himself be led, wondering how it was that even when Lucius was asking him to fuck him -- no, _telling_ him to fuck him -- he had Severus completely within his control.

Lucius climbed onto his bed. He lay back and stretched out a hand invitingly. "Come make me scream," he said, and licked his lip. Severus followed him down, pressing his cock against Lucius' hip as he gazed at his face, thinking that he could not make Lucius scream; only Lucius decided when to do that.

"What?" Lucius asked, smiling under Severus' gaze. He stroked Severus' cheek with the backs of his fingers. "You look so serious."

"You own me," Severus said slowly, as if he had just realized it. Not even being marked by Lucius' piss had brought that home to him so clearly.

"I do?" Lucius asked lightly. "Fancy that." And Lucius smiled more, kissing Severus' forehead. "Can I call you mine, then?"

Severus felt his knees start to shake and stilled them with pure force of will. "You will call me whatever you want, I'm sure," he said in a low voice.

"I probably will." Lucius could not seem to keep his hands away from Severus' hair, his skin. He continued to smile and speak lightly. "I want you," he said, "please, Severus."

Severus could have summoned the ointment he knew Lucius kept in the drawer in the table beside his bed, but that would have been too easy for himself and Lucius both. He slid down Lucius' body, over the side of the bed, and lifted one of Lucius' legs over his shoulder to give him access to his backside. Lucius' breath caught in his throat, but he didn't say a word about the fact that Severus seemed to be about to take him unprepared. He shifted a little, getting comfortable. He wanted this -- he had asked for it. He wet his lip and smiled again.

Severus pushed up on Lucius' legs, still startled at the lack of resistance. He slid slowly to his knees on the floor and buried his face in the hot wet spot behind Lucius' balls. Lucius moaned softly, squirming as Severus' tongue touched his hole, and his hand came up to card his fingers through Severus' hair, encouraging him with little tugs.

Severus plunged his tongue in deep; Lucius was clean, he tasted like soap, his skin was soft from being in the water for so long and the muscles relaxed more easily than usual. Severus was very hard, and wanted to fuck Lucius, but not until the older man was ready, though he doubted he could last until Lucius begged.

Lucius arched his back, moans bubbling out of him. "Severus...oh. That's so good. Can never get enough of that. Oh. Please..." Severus was grateful that he did not have to speak. His tongue was busy, his hands were busy as well, stroking Lucius' cock, spreading his thighs wider. He pressed his own cock into the covers on the mattress as Lucius let out a whimper, his free hand grasping Severus' wrist. "I... please." He thrust up into Severus' hand. "Severus, I'm not sure I...oh."

Severus lifted his head, replacing his tongue with his thumb. "You're not sure...?"

"I..." Lucius pushed against Severus' thumb. Perhaps he wasn't sure if he was actually going to be able to go another round, but his cock seemed to have other ideas about it. "Not sure I can wait," he said, lifting his head to look down at Severus who rose, pushing Lucius back on the bed as he leaned over him. He rubbed the fluid leaking from the tip of his cock around the sides, hoping that it would be enough, and knelt between Lucius' legs on the bed. "Do you want to turn?" he asked.

"No," Lucius answered, shaking his head. "I want to see you."

"Oh," replied Severus stupidly and pressed down, encountering more resistance than usual because of the lack of lubrication. This would not, he thought, take long anyway.

Lucius gasped, reaching up and grasping at Severus' arms. While his hands tightened, he stared up at Severus' face, and whispered, "Yes, yes..." And he pushed against Severus, trying to take him in.

"Do you want me to stop and get something?" Severus breathed.

"No," Lucius moaned, "no, stay. It'll --" He gasped as he moved against Severus again. "I'll be fine." Severus knew then that he was hurting him, knew that this might be used against him later -- after all those things Lucius said about not having forced _him_ to do anything -- but he chose to take him at his word, for he was already swelling, stiffening, so close. Lucius pulled him down, kissed him, stroked his back and neck and chest. "Fuck me," he whispered. "Make me come again." Severus shoved in, felt something give, groaned; pulled back, thrust again, and knew he was not going to last.

Lucius lifted his hips, rocking with Severus, encouraging him to move faster, harder. "Let go," he murmured into Severus' ear, "I know you want to. Severus, let go." Groaning harshly, Severus slammed in once, let his head fall forward and bit at Lucius' shoulder to keep control; pulled back, jerked his hips, and though he bit down on his lip, called out Lucius' name as the room dissolved around him.

Almost tenderly, Lucius gathered Severus in his arms and held him against his chest. He pressed a kiss to Severus' forehead. Severus was shaking, hips stuttering over Lucius', crushing his cock between them. He kept his eyes tightly closed. Frowning, probably feeling the tremors moving through Severus' body, Lucius stroked his back. "Severus? Are you all right?"

"It's too much," Severus choked out. His body had not felt right to him since he rose in the tub, maybe even earlier, like something utterly outside his own power.

"What is?" Lucius rolled Severus over onto his back, leaning over him. His fingers hesitantly touched Severus' face.

Severus wanted to take the fingers in his mouth and suck them, for the comfort of sucking and so that he did not have to speak. "I'm sorry. I must have been in the bath too long," he muttered.

Lucius didn't reply to this right away. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind Severus' ear. "I hate it when you lie to me," he said eventually.

"I'm not lying," Severus evaded. "It has been a long day, and it's been...a long time."

"It has indeed," Lucius agreed, slowly, tracing a finger over Severus' cheek. "And perhaps all of this was a bit much."

Severus tried to rouse himself, knowing that Lucius had not come when he had specifically asked for it. "What would you like?"

"Don't worry about it, Severus. I -- it -- Lost interest. I can wait." The pain, thought Severus as Lucius rolled onto his back again and pulled Severus against him. Immediately he was sorry, as he had known he would be.

"Did I hurt you very much? Let me get my wand..."

Lucius' arms tightened a bit, preventing Severus from moving away. "I thought I said not to worry. I'm fine."

Severus did not want to worry; he wanted to close his eyes and stop thinking. "Make sure," he told himself, then realized that he had spoken aloud.

"Make sure... Severus. I'm fine. Honestly."

"Do you want...to sleep?" Severus asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Lucius stretched a little and then nodded. "I think so, yes. Will you stay?"

"Yes," promised Severus at once. If it was too submissive, there was nothing he could do about it; he did not have the will to quarrel. Then Lucius smiled, letting out a happy little humming noise. Squirming, he sat up and gather up the blankets to pull around them.

It was warmer in the bed than it had been under the water, and Severus felt his tightening skin trying to settle back into place. His mind kept offering flashes of images and sensation from earlier, but he banished them.

There would be time enough for them to haunt him in dreams.


	7. Floating on Air

Every May Day the Malfoys gave an enormous party. From their vast Wiltshire estate, they summoned everyone who was anyone in the wizarding world (and some who were not, but knew someone who was). While the Snapes had occasionally received an invitation to a smaller Malfoy gathering by virtue of their Slytherin connections, they had never been invited to the Beltane revels -- a point of frustration with Severus' mother, though Severus himself had always been relieved, because May Day meant dancing and he did not dance.

But this year was different. This year Lucius had mentioned to Severus that of course the Snapes would attend the May Day celebration. This year an engraved invitation had been delivered to the Snape home by a glorious white owl, meaning that Severus' mother saw it before he did. Even if he might have come up with an excuse for Lucius concerning his family, or an excuse for his parents concerning Lucius, he could not resist pressure from all of them. The formal response was winging to the elder Malfoys before they had returned from their travels, though of course Severus couldn't tell his parents how he knew that. Delighted though they were that their son and Lucius Malfoy had become friends, their attitude would have changed entirely if they came to realize where Severus was spending his nights.

Lucius surprised him with a gift for the party, a vest in a deep shade of emerald, insisting that Severus could not wear black to a celebration of spring and moreover that the color would make him appear less pale, more festive, more attractive to Bellatrix Black who was so looking forward to seeing him...this last said with a wink and a smirk. Narcissa would be Lucius' official date, and although her sister would undoubtedly end up marrying someone of similar wealth and status, Bellatrix was rumored to be wilder -- not a tart, but feral and hungry.

Severus dared not confess any uneasiness to Lucius at the prospect of spending an evening with Bellatrix, let alone his terror at the hint that she might wish to claim the night as well. His lack of experience with women was shameful enough without giving Malfoy something else to taunt him about. But he could, and did, state his concern at the one aspect of the festivities where he most feared making a fool of himself, not just in the presence of a single woman but in full view of the entire assembly:

"I can't dance."

It seemed as if Lucius had been hoping for just such an opportunity. Smiling broadly, he led Severus to the cavernous ballroom, unused for nearly the entire year. "I'll teach you," he promised. Then, seeing the horror on Severus' face, he added, "Don't you want to dance with me?"

"I don't want to _dance_," explained Severus, feeling himself blushing faintly. "Perhaps it would be best if I arrived with a bandage on my leg..."

"You will do no such thing," Lucius interrupted him. "I bought you this lovely vest so that you could _move_ in it." Indeed the vest was less confining than any Severus had previously owned, as Lucius insisted on demonstrating, twirling Severus around with his arms over his head like a child's toy and embarrassing him greatly, though there was no malice in Lucius' smile. In fact, he seemed genuinely to enjoy demonstrating footwork, turns, the occasional pose. "People dance at parties because it's _fun_, not as a form of torture," he insisted.

"You're intent on teaching me how to dance," sighed Severus. "I'll make a fool of myself."

"No one will be here to see. It's just us. I know you learn quickly. You'll be surprised." With a snap of his fingers, Lucius called, "_Symphonia_!" Instantly a waltz began to play.

Shifting his feet, Severus looked at the floor, but made no real effort to escape as the older man stepped close, his scent filling Severus' nostrils. "Come here, and put your hand on my waist," he said, waiting for Severus to do so before resting his own hand on Severus' shoulder and shifting his hip and elbow to adjust the position of their arms. "Like this. With a woman, you'll want your hand nearer her lower back. And you'll want to be standing closer, but now you need to be able to see my feet. Now, watch."

Severus was still blushing, but not because of his ineptitude as a dancer; he was having difficulty not thinking about how good his partner smelled and responding to it. He tried to move with Lucius, but kept stepping on his toes, anticipating an angry scolding. Lucius often seemed not to understand that not everyone had grown up with dance lessons, music lessons, quidditch practice...at least, Lucius seemed to believe that the people who had not had such things were not worth knowing. It made Severus tense, which made any attempt at dancing even more difficult. Yet somehow the frustration only heightened his arousal.

Moving Severus' hand lower on his hip, Lucius caught his eye and smiled encouragingly. "You're going to have to let me lead, but you should keep in mind that you'll be doing what _my_ feet are doing," he lectured. "Don't worry about perfecting the steps. The important thing is to move with assurance. Women would rather dance with a confident partner who misses steps than with a meticulous partner who's more worried about watching his steps than watching her."

"All right," Severus replied, trying to hide his impatience. "Do you honestly think anyone will want to dance with me?"

"Of course they will. Women enjoy power; they can smell it. If you demand that a woman dance with you, she will want to show off for you even if she doesn't know your name."

"I don't particularly want a woman I don't know showing off for me."

"Have you not noticed that _men_ notice a man who can attract women so confidently?" Considering this -- for he had certainly watched Lucius ensnaring women before he had had any hope, himself, of catching the older man's eye -- Severus lost track of his feet and very nearly stepped on Lucius' foot. "You're being tentative," snapped Lucius. "Turn sharply! Move as if the floor obeys your feet."

"I can't move that way when I don't know what I'm doing."

"If you look and move as if you know what you're doing, women will follow. You're a Slytherin, from a pureblood family -- you need to show your pride!"

"I'll take your word for that." There was little question that Lucius had the effect on Severus that he predicted Severus might have on a partner, standing so close, moving him with such practiced ease to the graceful music. "I still doubt that they would follow me as they do you." Again he stumbled over his lover's foot.

"Let's try something slower. Here, it's a simple three-step. Come closer." Another command spoken to the air and the music changed; the room must have been enchanted, with the melodies somehow built into its fabric to be summoned by a word. Severus moved hesitantly, knowing that Lucius would be able to feel that there were other things he'd rather be doing, and sure enough, as the other man's thigh brushed his pelvis, he heard an indrawn breath, followed by a snort. "You know, if you find yourself in such a condition on the dance floor, you really ought either to beg off or invite the lady upstairs. And there, you see...you _do_ like dancing."

"I like dancing with you." Against his better judgment, Severus looked up from his study of their feet and pressed his lips against Lucius' mouth. For a moment he encountered resistance, then Lucius melted against him, pressing close and returning the kiss. Encouraged, Severus wrapped his arms around him.

"You're never going to learn to dance like this," scolded Lucius when they broke for air, though he was smiling and there was no bite in his voice. When Severus hummed noncommittally, Lucius began to spin him toward the back of the room, shuffling him forward with his hips.

By the time they had reached the wall, Lucius was as hard as he was. Feigning a frown of concern, Severus said, "I've never _seen_ anyone dance like this, Lucius."

"We'll dance later," Lucius growled, working at Severus' clothes while he continued to kiss him. "That is, if you can stand...and if you can't, you can put your feet on top of mine and I'll put a weightlessness charm on you so I can dance and you can follow my movements." Looking thoughtful for a moment, Lucius slid Severus' robes to the floor, but whatever he was pondering seemed to slip away as well as his fingers found what they had been seeking and squeezed it. "You can't dance in such a state, anyway. _This_ will surely get in the way."

Severus moaned. "It is distracting."

"It's distracting to me, too." Still squeezing, Lucius ground his still-clothed body against Severus' naked one, pressing him into the wall until he squirmed and bucked against Lucius, thrusting himself into Lucius' welcoming palm. Reaching out, Severus' fingers tangled in the front of Lucius' robes, tugging the older man's upper body close for another kiss. With another mysterious smile, Lucius suspended his wand in midair, then began to remove his own clothing, which was Severus could not bear to stand and watch; he helped him eagerly, stroking the smooth pale skin, letting Lucius' hair fall over his hands.

Retrieving his wand from where it floated beside them, Lucius took a step back. "This gives me an idea, and I want to try something," he said. "_Wingardium leviosa_!" As if Severus were a bird riding a puff of warm air, he felt his feet leaving the ground, lifting him away from the wall to float free. For a moment it was terrifying, for did not know whether the spell would hold him upright or whether the slightest of gestures would tip him headfirst, but after hovering for a few seconds he discovered that he had a surprising amount of control. His body moved much more obediently than when they had been dancing, lifting and swooping him closer to Lucius when he bent that way and sending him soaring upward when he flung himself back. It was like a dream of flight.

"Do you know the Muggle tale about the boy who could fly by thinking happy thoughts?" he asked Lucius.

The older man frowned slightly at the mention of Muggles, but his clear blue eyes lit with recognition. "Happy thoughts and fairy dust," he nodded. "Probably based on some poor Muggle's childhood contact with the magical world, never forgotten, and turned into a legend. As I recall, the 'fairy' caused quite a bit of trouble." Grinning, he shoved at Severus' foot, sending him spinning, but Severus had already discovered that he could suspend any movement if he bent the right way, and Lucius gazed at him with a sort of admiration. "You look...graceful," he said. "I should have taught you to dance this way in the first place. Are you thinking happy thoughts?"

In fact Severus had no room for any thoughts but happy ones. The unexpected thrill of flight had made all his embarrassment and anger float away, though his arousal remained. "I am," he admitted. Swooping closer, he held out a hand, expecting Lucius to join him, but the older man's fingers instead closed about his hips, holding him steady with his groin at the level of Lucius' mouth. "Oh." Looking down at the wicked grin poised so near his flesh, Severus swallowed, stroking his fingers through Lucius' hair as, still smiling, Lucius leaned forward to lick the head of his cock. With a moan Severus locked his ankles together around Lucius' back.

Reaching up with both hands, Lucius rubbed Severus' nipples while he took him into his mouth, slowly sucking more and more of him inside. Severus covered one of the hands with his own, leaving the other tangled in silky soft hair. Wriggling his fingers free, Lucius took them down Severus' body to his cock and slid them up while his mouth moved down, humming long and loud, making Severus gasp and whimper. A moment later Lucius found that by pushing forward with his shoulders, he could make Severus float away a bit and come back by sucking him in, and he chuckled as he made the most of the discovery.

Severus uttered a soft oath, clutching at Lucius' shoulders, still moaning at the feel of the mouth around his cock. The notion that pleasure could send one aloft had always seemed ridiculous to him, yet now he could not imagine an end to the charm and the joyous freedom it offered. Though Lucius did not stop nudging Severus around like a balloon, he got one of his fingers wet with saliva and began to run it around the opening to Severus' body, probing gently there. "Fuck. Oh, fuck. Lucius," he moaned helplessly, trying to push down against Lucius' finger, but straight downward seemed to be the one direction in which his body refused to move, and he groaned in frustration. "Please! Don't tease me."

Pulling his mouth away from Severus, Lucius offered a conspiratorial grin. "All right," he said, and spun Severus in midair again, catching him from behind halfway around. With one hand on Severus' cock and another reaching for his own floating wand, he muttered a cleansing charm, bent his head and flicked his tongue against Severus' entrance.

The force with which Severus tossed his head as he cried out would have sent him floating away had Lucius not caught his thigh, holding him in place with one hand and beginning to stroke his cock again with the other. His tongue moved in swift eager licks, probing inside, which pushed Severus forward into his hand. "Oh fuck. Oh _fuck_, Lucius, yes." Severus could hear himself whimpering, reaching a hand toward the wall to ground himself, for he was certain that if he did not touch something solid, Lucius' tongue would send him floating upward until he smashed into the ceiling. Curving his back, spreading his knees as widely as he could, he cried out again as Lucius continued to fuck him with his tongue, clawing at the wall and at his own nipple until he shuddered and spurted over Lucius' hand.

The drops of semen seemed to be suspended by the same spell that kept Severus aloft, and Lucius opened his fingers to catch them as they slowly descended, rolling the liquid in his palm. "Now I want to fuck you," he growled, not a request, but Severus did not hesitate in his eager nod.

"Yes. Lucius. Please." Turning Severus to face himself, Lucius pulled him down so that Severus' feet nearly touched the ground until he bent them up with his knees, allowing Lucius to reach beneath and stroke his wet hand over the surface where his tongue had already traveled. One finger pressed inside, then two, making certain that Severus was indeed relaxed enough for this while Severus squirmed, trying to tell him wordlessly to get on with it. The older wizard's free arm braced Severus across the waist, keeping him positioned as Lucius wet the head of his own cock with semen and saliva before nudging it against Severus.

"Yes." Severus clutched at Lucius' shoulders, trying to wrap his legs around his lower back, "yes," and he curved painfully forward to kiss Lucius, "please." Gentleness was not working: Lucius' efforts to breach Severus' body were only making him float away. Finally Lucius pulled down on his hip and thrust up hard at the same time, shoving himself past the ring of muscle and making them both cry out in surprise. Body jerking, Severus groaned, keeping himself anchored to Lucius with his legs wrapped around him and holding on despite the spike of discomfort.

"Oh," Lucius gasped, making no effort to stop as his hips flexed back and forth. The floating spell did the rest, working with the earlier charm to make Severus slide effortlessly around him, nearly parallel to the floor. From this position he could watch Lucius as he never had before, the intense looks of concentration and delight as he watched himself fucking Severus, the hair floating back and forth across his shoulders with his movements. Moaning with each thrust of Lucius' hips, Severus felt himself getting hard again already and reached down to touch the budding erection, stroking shamelessly.

Lucius watched and groaned, rising up on his toes as he thrust, hips moving in a rhythmic circle almost as if he was dancing. "This feels so good," he murmured, as if surprised at the discovery.

"Yes," whispered Severus, "so good. Fuck me." He squeezed his legs tighter around Lucius, letting out little whimpers with each thrust, stroking himself to the same rhythm. "So good. Please..."

The rhythm faltered very suddenly as Lucius howled, closing his eyes and raising his head, face contorted as if in pain; he grunted a curse, flexed his hips once more, then his cock was abruptly sliding easily in the newly wet channel where he thrust and twitched. Jerking his own cock faster, much more desperately, Severus watched his lover's face as he recovered from his orgasm, unwilling to stop the movements that had brought him such pleasure. It took very little time for him to come again, spurting between their bodies and feeling the fluid splash on his belly. Pulling Severus upright as his own cock softened, Lucius held on to him, letting his face and his soft hair rest against Severus' sticky chest.

The charm that kept Severus afloat seemed slowly to be wearing off; his limbs felt heavier, his feet brushed the floor. Slowly, carefully, Lucius withdrew and set him on his feet. "Does it hurt much?" he asked. Resting his head against Lucius' shoulder, Severus tried to catch his breath and regain his balance. The pain was mild, but the loss of flight had left him feeling empty.

Lucius' wand had also fallen slowly, some distance away from where they now stood. Pushing his feet under Severus', he shuffled them over to it, dipping Severus as he bent to retrieve the wand. "I told you that you could dance," he insisted with a private wink. "Now, stop doubting me."

"I shall try," agreed Severus, trying not to wince. Quickly Lucius raised the wand and uttered a spell against pain, letting Severus step back to lean on the wall. "I wonder if it's possible for both of us to be floating. Do you suppose that we could manage enough control?"

"We would have to stay in very close contact." Lucius pressed shoulder to shoulder with him against the wall, hair tumbling onto Severus' skin. "We could suck each other off, flipping over in midair...or we could just float, like being in a bathtub, only without the water. We could hold onto each other by the ankles and do whatever we wanted with our hands. Or we could do it Eastern-style, sitting with our legs crossed over one another, breathing in sync..." His eyes were hazy with possibilities as he took Severus' hand, smiling almost dreamily before a naughty expression returned. "Of course, it might be more entertaining for you simply to suspend me in midair, immobilize my legs and fuck me."

Severus made a choking noise, clutching Lucius' fingers involuntarily. "Oh."

"Perhaps you should dance with Bellatrix several inches off the floor. Although...now that we've done this, I'm not certain I want you to share it." A faint frown creased Lucius' otherwise relaxed brow. "Though I don't suppose I can tell you how to behave at the party, once you're there -- May Day is known for some rather wicked behavior."

"And you know that I would rather spend it alone with you," retorted Severus before he had fully thought it through. He expected to be rebuffed and told that he was selfish and greedy, or at the very least to hear a lecture on Malfoy responsibilities, but he received only an oddly wistful smile.

"You're alone with me now. And all this exercise has made me tired -- let's Apparate to my bedroom and recover." His other arm came around Severus' waist, so that for a moment they were holding each other as if at the start of a waltz, hands clasped, hip to hip, and Severus knew that he had been wrong to think that he would not enjoy dancing.

With a soft sigh he held on to his partner for the brief moment allowed him before it all disappeared -- the ballroom, the music, the happy thought that any of this could remain his own.


	8. Belle of the Ball

Though Severus Snape had never found himself attracted to a woman, even he was not immune to the beauty of Narcissa Black. Tall, slender, with blonde hair that seemed naturally to fall in waves about her face, she moved with grace and danced with a stylish if formal elegance. Together she and Lucius Malfoy made a couple everyone watched -- some with envy, some with admiration, but never disinterest. Severus would have thought the two of them lived in a perpetual state of bliss, were it not for the strained smile Lucius wore and the absence of any sign of pleasure on Narcissa's face as they moved together across the floor.

Bellatrix Black was not what he would have called beautiful. As tall as her sister, she was nevertheless dark where Narcissa was fair, with a jutting chin and heavy-lidded eyes, and her voice had none of the studied modulation of the more refined purebloods. Her hair flew wildly about, messy even by the lax standards of a May Day celebration. Lucius had been right that Severus' lack of dance training would be no obstacle with Bellatrix; she was perfectly happy to whirl about the floor, frightening the formal dancers into shuffling out of the way.

"Lucius told me to be gentle with you," she said to Severus in a taunting voice, but her smile suggested that she was more intrigued than scornful. "I didn't think Lucius had any friends -- only little minions who do his bidding. Are you a little minion, Severus?"

"I am not," he told her. Bellatrix let out a loud, raucous laugh that turned heads, including that of Severus' own mother, but her look was approving; for him to be seen dating a Black would bring stature to the Snape family despite Bellatrix's very revealing attire and the firewhiskey in which she overindulged. "Lucius is simply aware of my inexperience as a dancer."

"As a dancer?" she asked, again with a curious smile, and her voice changed to something akin to baby talk. "Are you more skilled in other areas, little Severus?"

"Don't call me little," he said firmly, refusing to take the bait. It mattered to him very little what Bellatrix Black thought of him except inasmuch as he did not want to anger Lucius, who seemed to be harboring the delusion that it would be enjoyable if the four of them -- Lucius, Narcissa, Bellatrix and Severus -- were all able to socialize together. Bellatrix seemed aware of Severus' disinterest and determined to change it, more as a matter of pride than out of any personal interest in him.

Thus far it had been entertaining to allow it. Though Severus did not enjoy being on display, particularly in front of so many prominent purebloods, he had been aware at several times of Lucius watching him closely, and it seemed to him that Lucius might have been looking at him somewhat possessively, and at Bellatrix with resentment. He was peering now over Narcissa's shoulder, and although he had a smile holding his face as rigidly as though he'd used a spell to keep it there, his eyes were icy.

"He's watching us," Bellatrix whispered in Snape's ear. "Just ignore him. He can't have everything he wants -- it simply wouldn't be fair -- ouch!" With a laugh she pulled her foot from beneath Snape's where he had stepped on it, unable to concentrate on dancing. _Could she know?_ His heart was in his throat. He stared into her face, but her twisted smile revealed nothing beyond her contempt -- for him, for Lucius, he couldn't guess. Leaning, forward again, she murmured into his ear: "I'm the best he ever had, I'm sure. My sister won't do it until they're married. Her virginity is worth more to him than a wife who will know how to make him come."

"You fucked him?" Snape asked, stupidly and too loudly; he heard gasps and murmurs from nearby and prayed that his parents were not dancing anywhere close. "Oh." His terror faded quickly into fury. Lucius was still watching them, but Snape refused to meet his eyes.

"What's the matter, disappointed you didn't have me first?" asked Bellatrix, apparently pleased. "Don't worry, you'll get your turn. Lucius gave me so many warnings about how shy you were that now I'm curious." Again she flashed the smile. "Think you can find your way under my skirt? We could go to the garden and find out."

Outside, some of the wilder young wizards were making a mockery of the Beltane tradition of jumping the broom, though more traditional fertility revels had been going on all evening beneath the hedges and in the open by those lucky few with invisibility cloaks. Severus did not relish the thought of being anywhere so public with an amorous Bellatrix, but he too had had more than a bit of firewhiskey, his curiosity was intense, and he could not repress the desire to make Lucius suffer the way he himself suffered each time Lucius stroked Narcissa's lovely bare shoulders or kissed her hand.

Lacing his fingers through Bellatrix's, he tugged her firmly toward the ballroom doors. Her expression turned sultry, and she made a show of swishing her hips and winking at those they passed as Severus led her into the main hall of the house where many of the older guests who eschewed the more exuberant May Day revels had gathered to smoke dreamweed and relax. "Where are we going?" she demanded in a childish voice that carried quite loudly. "Have I been a bad girl? Will you spank me and take me to bed?"

"Come along," Severus snapped in his most imperious voice, one which he would never had had the courage to use with Lucius but which he enjoyed directing at Bellatrix. Eyes followed them all the way up the grand staircase where he led Bellatrix beneath paintings of Malfoy relatives, all murmuring, a few of whom greeted Severus by name.

"You spend a lot of time here, I see," said Bellatrix speculatively. Then her expression changed. "Are you..._with us_?"

Severus had no idea what she meant, but he had no intention of letting her know that. "Would Malfoy spend time with me otherwise?" he snapped crossly.

"I thought there must be more to you than met the eye," she drawled. Instinctively Severus had led her down the corridor with which he was most familiar, directly to Lucius' rooms; he paused, then set his jaw and pushed the door open, whipping out his wand and calling for the sconces to light. Bellatrix did not hesitate; she swayed inside, went directly to the cabinet where Lucius kept his liquor and began to pour for both of them, smiling at Severus from beneath heavy lids.

He should have been more nervous, Severus supposed, but he suspected that fucking Bellatrix would be like dancing with Bellatrix -- so long as he showed no fear, did what she wanted and made a respectable number of demands, there would be no expectation of traditional skill or experience. For reasons he could not explain, he was certain that Lucius had never touched her intimately: Lucius might have fucked her, but not used his mouth on her the way he used it on Severus, and certainly no playful use of toys and enchanted objects. Snape tried to imagine what Bellatrix would look like sitting astride him, moving up and down on his cock with her ample breasts brushing against him; he did not feel lust precisely, but the thrill of doing something forbidden excited him. While his parents danced and tried to impress the upper echelon of wizarding society, he was going to fuck a Black, in Lucius Malfoy's bedroom.

Putting a drink in his hand, Bellatrix leaned over for what Severus expected to be a kiss; instead she bit down on his lip hard enough to draw blood, drawing a shocked yelp from him. At the look of triumph in her eyes he very nearly smacked her away, which might have been what she wanted, but he did not want to make this a game of pain and reward; he did not trust her nearly enough for that. "Don't do that," he spat furiously when she released him, chuckling softly.

"Did I hurt you, little Severus?" Bellatrix cooed. "I forgot -- I promised to be gentle." Her smile was pure evil as she stepped away and continued walking backward, holding out her arms, until she leaned against Lucius' bed. "Come celebrate the rites of May with me," she murmured, tossing her hair in a manner Snape assumed that she meant to be seductive. "While my sister and Lucius go through that pathetic charade downstairs. Show me what you've got."

Striding across the room with a confidence he did not feel, Severus set down his drink and all but shoved her onto the bed. She kicked her shoes off as he climbed over her, shifting to let her dress ride up her legs -- he caught a stretch of stocking, a flash of garter -- her knees parted, and he saw clearly that she wore nothing else. "Fuck me, Severus," she ordered, lying back to pull him over her, wrapping her legs around him to rub her naked sex against his dress robes, leaving a damp streak; she was dirty, she was repellent, he was hard anyway, and Bellatrix arched shamelessly against the bulge, sliding up and down against him.

The smell of her threatened to overwhelm Severus; he dropped his face into the more familiar territory of her throat, breathing in sweat and the exotic perfume he'd been able to smell on her when they danced. She let out a pleased moan when he sucked the skin there, and thrust herself up against him once more before letting her hips fall back so that she could begin to unfasten his clothing.

"I'll let you put it anywhere," she announced gleefully. "If you can keep it up longer than Lucius...it took too much work just to keep him hard..." Snape let out a moan of pleasure, knowing that she could not know why these words made him happy. Her fingers found his cock and stroked it roughly, as if she believed an irritant might be more arousing than deliberate seduction. In this case she was right. He had no interest in exploring sex with her, let alone making love to her, but fucking her, coming in her, where Lucius had been -- that, he ached to do.

She seemed almost disappointed when he fumbled over the wiry hair between her legs to find the wet slit, as if she'd hoped for more creativity; perhaps she liked to have her arse fucked, or to suck a prick, but Severus did not want to pass up this opportunity for study. He was becoming accustomed to the more acrid flavor of her skin and the softness. The fluid that coated his fingers was thicker and smelled more strongly than the lubrications he had tried, though when he ducked his head to taste it he found that it was not as bitter as Lucius' come, though it left an odd greasy flavor on his lips that he did not like.

Fortunately, Bellatrix seemed quite entertained when he sat up, reaching for the whiskey that he'd left on the table by the bed and swallowing a gulp. "Now will you fuck me?" she asked plaintively. "I'll get on my knees for you. You can fuck me like a dirty black dog."

Her grin was feral, and for reasons he could never have explained, the words made Severus think of Remus Lupin, that repulsive Gryffindor werewolf; he wondered whether Bellatrix's despicable cousin Sirius would have liked to tie up and fuck his sad little boyfriend in that form, while Lupin gnashed his teeth and tossed his head, with no choice but to take it. It was an unpleasant association, though there was a bit of a thrill in the idea of making the werewolf howl as a cock moved in and out of him. "If you're the best that Malfoy ever had, I want you to show me what you can do," Severus sneered, leaning back against Lucius' ample pillows as he struggled out of his robes. "Why don't you give me a demonstration."

He thought that Bellatrix might ridicule him for expressing a preference to be on the bottom, but her eyes lit up delightedly. She did not remove her dress, but hitched it up under her arms so that Severus could clearly see the damp, dark triangle between the white straps of her garters, straddling him and adjusting his cock so that she could rub herself over it. The slick heat felt surprisingly good. Again, he felt no attraction to her, but a wicked sense of violating some taboo. He twitched against her, and she smiled approvingly: "Lucius kept going flaccid when I did this. Sometimes I wonder whether he really likes women..." Snape caught his breath. "...or whether _he_'s the only person who can turn him on. It wouldn't have surprised me if he moaned his own name."

Severus had been slouching lower into the pillows, pushing up against her; he caught a sudden whiff of Lucius' hair on a pillowcase and groaned aloud. "Bellatrix..."

"That's better," she hissed, squeezing him between her thighs. "You like me, don't you, Severus? Better than my sister. You like this..." And when he tried to thrust up again, she took him in her hand, spread her knees around him and sank onto the head of his cock in one liquid hot movement.

Even without much basis for comparison, Severus thought very quickly that Bellatrix had not lied about her skills. She clenched and released around him with muscles that seemed to be milking him; she knew when to speed up her movements up and down, and when to grip him inside for slower back-and-forth rocking; she kept her dress hitched up beneath her arms, leaning back just enough that when he looked he could see himself sliding in and out of her like a snake devouring its tail. Her curved belly and hairless thighs were not at all desirable to him but he could not resist the feel of that heat around him. Curiously he reached forward, sliding his thumb into her hair and down until he discovered the point where they were joined, where he could feel himself moving in and out of her. "Fuck, fuck, _yes_," she cried, grabbing his hand and pushing it up with her own, moving his thumb rhythmically on a flexible knot in her flesh that made her contract so pleasurably around him.

The dark cosmetic red on Bellatrix's lips had long since rubbed off, and now the artificial black of her lashes was beginning to smudge beneath her eyes as her face shone with sweat. Severus tried and failed to imagine her sister Narcissa in such a state; it was impossible, but he wasn't sure that he'd say that Bellatrix was uglier, though her mouth had twisted into an "O" and her hair was sticking to her forehead. He could feel her coming even before the loud cry and convulsion of her body -- a violent thing, from her expression she might have been feeling pain rather than pleasure. When she had quieted, Severus grabbed her hips and rolled her over, fucking her with his face pressed into Lucius' pillow, his thoughts on what Lucius must have felt while inside Bellatrix, this heat, this wet, those fingernails, this undulation; in the end he bit the pillow, not trusting any name that might have escaped his lips as he spilled into the sullied pureblood flesh.

"You're not bad," Bellatrix murmured when she had caught her breath. "You're a bit lazy and you could do with some practice, but I wouldn't mind having you again." Glancing over, Severus saw her grin and knew that he had no desire to do it again with her, ever, but he had no regrets either, and felt a sort of gratitude to her. She probably believed she had used him, and he would never try to tell her otherwise.

"I was wondering where you'd got to," said a voice from the doorway. Severus nearly leapt out of bed, though Bellatrix only gave a smug smile as she looked over to the other side of the room.

"You did well, Malfoy. Your little friend here..." The diminutive made Snape glare, but she ignored him completely. "...he's been quite entertaining."

"Get out," snapped Lucius. Snape felt a twinge of satisfaction at the shock on her face. "Severus and I have business to discuss."

"At a party?" Bellatrix asked incredulously. "What's the matter, Lucius -- frustrated that my sister won't give you what you want this evening and you don't dare ask anyone else with her in the house?" A wicked smile played around her lips. "You could come join us, you know. Severus, you wouldn't mind, would you? I bet I could take you both at once..."

"_Get. Out._" Lucius was furious, so much so that even Bellatrix knew better than to press the issue. With a shrug, she slid to the edge of the bed, fumbling in the folds of her dress for her wand. Pointing it at herself, she cast Scourgify, then a spell to prevent conception, as Severus realized abruptly the fire with which he'd been playing: on this night when fertility was celebrated by pairs of strangers, Muggle and magical alike, accidental children were an all too common consequence.

"Don't be too long. There's still plenty of time for dancing, and you're a much better partner than some." Smiling sweetly at Snape and ignoring Lucius, Bellatrix slipped from the bed, stepped back into her shoes and walked from the room with her hair wild about her shoulders. Once she was halfway across the floor, Severus hardly noticed her; his eyes were filled with Lucius, who despite impeccable hair and the finest dress robes in the county had his own sort of wildness as he approached the bed.

"Get up. Clean yourself off." The words were clipped and bitter. "I'm supposed to be playing the host, not trying to chase you down so your mother doesn't worry."

"I hardly think it would worry my mother to learn that I'd gone off with one of the Black sisters," said Severus in a voice that he knew was far too challenging. "And I thought you wanted me to...befriend her. Didn't you have some ludicrous notion of the two of us taking Narcissa and her sister to parties together?"

"Dancing, not sneaking upstairs and making my bed _filthy_!" Yanking his wand from his robes, Lucius began to Scourgify the covers, the pillows and Severus himself. Snape held still, though some part of him feared that the older man would hex his prick before his temper cooled. "Now get up, put your robes on and come downstairs. I told you that there were people I wanted you to meet, and you've wasted nearly the entire night..."

"Are you jealous, Lucius?" asked Severus in a low voice.

Lucius paused, wand raised halfway in the air, and the room seemed to crackle with potential curses before he lowered it. "You're being ridiculous," he spat contemptuously. "We will discuss this later. Now _come downstairs_."

By the time Severus had cleaned, dressed and followed Lucius out of the room, the gracious host had returned, even if his smile seemed more strained than before. "While the women are performing traditional dances, I've asked some of my friends to congregate in the study," he said conversationally, as if he and Snape were business colleagues rather than...well, whatever they were. "I'd like you to join us. Do try not to gloat too much about having made a conquest of Bellatrix -- I think you'll find that in such company, you're only one of many."

Pondering these words, Severus remained silent till they reached the bottom of the staircase. It almost seemed as if Lucius wanted him to brag about Bellatrix...to make him one of them, to prove his mettle, and perhaps to silence any dangerous rumors. As they approached the study, he paused.

"I only did it because I knew you'd been there first."

"What?" Lucius stared, then reddened. "Severus, we can talk about this later. You'll know most of the others -- Goyle, and Nott, and Lestrange..."

Later. From Lucius, it was very nearly a promise.

As the study door opened, Severus glanced behind him. Bellatrix was leaning against a banister, smoking dreamweed and looking bored. She grinned at him, and he managed to smile back, though his lip burned where she had bitten it.


	9. Owned

Lucius had been furious. As soon as the house had emptied -- which took hours, as drunken purebloods stumbled in from the gardens and exhausted Slytherins crawled from corners of the dance floor -- their gracious host had grabbed Severus by his fancy new robes and hauled him upstairs.

"Don't rip that! It's my best dress robe," Severus protested, though Lucius seemed disinclined to pay his words any attention and moreover Lucius had paid for the clothing. "You don't need to get violent. It was your idea for me to hook up with Bellatrix. You must have known what she would expect; according to her, you know her very, very well. What did you think would happen?"

"You didn't have to fuck her in my bed," announced Lucius, with unusual color in his pale face, striding imperiously down the hall to his bedroom with Severus in tow. He had sent Narcissa home with her parents and sister much earlier, as well as Severus' own parents, who had fallen all over each other in their effort to shake the hands of their Malfoy hosts; of course they had agreed when Lucius had asked whether their son might stay to help him set the house in order. Lucius had also said goodnight to the circle of friends with whom Severus had sat uncomfortably in the library, trying to determine the meaning behind their words about clandestine meetings and plans for future gatherings that would presumably include himself. "Do you understand what I did for you tonight? Asking you to join us, when you're not long out of school, untested? Now when I offer to sponsor you, they will fall in line behind me."

"Now you _want_ me to join you?" Snape asked sullenly. All the whiskey he had drunk was confusing him, giving him a bit of a headache. "For months now, when I have asked you about these meetings you go to, you have refused to say a word..."

"I couldn't take any chances. We had to be certain of your intentions. The delay was not my decision."

"What in Merlin's name did you think my intentions were?" Pausing, Severus managed to wrest himself free from the older man's grip. "And I wasn't aware that you answered to anyone."

Whirling in the doorway of his rooms, Lucius fixed him with a glare. "I thought that you were serious about wanting to join me. I am the leader of this group, but surely you don't believe that this mansion and its pleasures are all that wizarding society may offer the powerful. Don't go soft on me now."

"Are you saying that tonight was the prelude to sort of initiation?" Satisfaction appeared in Lucius' eyes, a teacher pleased with a clever pupil. "I see. What will be expected of me? And why now?"

"Because I told them I wanted it to happen now. I think you're ready." Before Severus could ask what he was supposed to be ready for, Lucius had grabbed his robes and tugged him into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them more forcefully than absolutely necessary. "And now _I'm_ ready," he added, no longer speaking about the secret society of purebloods into which Snape had been given a glimpse. Very carefully he began removing Severus' robe, then his shirt, making a show of being cautious with the lace and trim. A spot of lipstick on Severus' shoulder, most likely brushed there by Bellatrix's mouth while they were dancing, made him frown in faint disgust.

"Well? Did you enjoy it? Being inside a woman?"

"It was pleasant enough. She wasn't cruel." That earned him a sharp glance, as if Lucius felt that he was being compared to Bellatrix. "In truth? I did not particularly enjoy it. I don't want to do it again. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Well." Lucius' face had softened somewhat as he began to remove his own fancy party robes. "I suppose that if you want to see her again, it wouldn't do to stop you. We will all be expected to marry and produce pureblood children, whether we expect to enjoy it or not. You could certainly do worse than a Black -- Narcissa's own sister. It would make certain things easier." While he spoke, Severus searched his face. Earlier he'd accused Lucius of being jealous, though really he thought it was only that he was now considered Malfoy property, and Lucius did not like other people touching his belongings.

Was it possible that Lucius _was_ jealous? Had things changed so much in so short a time? Severus thought that he might have put up with Bellatrix for a far longer time had he known what the effect would be. Catching his glance, Lucius smiled, again with a hint of condescension, as if he wanted to make it clear that he was pleased Severus was so quick to follow his suggestions. "I am so very glad I found you," he murmured, discarding the last of his clothes. "Imagine if our family lines were to cross. It isn't as if I could bear to have Nott as an in-law, or Goyle, and Lestrange has an inflated opinion of his status."

"My family is hardly so distinguished as the Goyles or the Lestranges."

"Perhaps not, but you have other assets. You're cleverer than they are. You're loyal without being a simpering lapdog." Lucius' fingers trailed down his face. "And you are mine, Severus. Your body, your spirit -- even when you make me angry, you always claim that you are only trying to do as I wish."

Snape felt his breath catch in his throat, turning his eyes away from the glittering blue ones facing him. Even tired, with wrinkles creasing his high forehead, Lucius Malfoy was the handsomest man he had ever seen. "Does that make me your love slave?" he asked with as much sarcasm as he could muster. Lucius' eyes widened, but after a moment he chuckled, nodding. "Actually I think I would prefer to avoid the word 'slave,' given how you treat your house-elves."

"Tsk," said Lucius, reaching over to pull Severus with him toward the bed. "Your eagerness pleases me very much. I know that attending a May Day dance was not your idea of a delightful evening, and I am prepared to reward you for your efforts."

"To...reward me?" For making a fool of himself on the dance floor? For fucking Bellatrix? Severus felt uncertain whether he was being mocked which he was certain had been Lucius' intention -- to keep him off-balance, to remind him of his place. As he watched, Lucius opened the hidden drawer beneath the bed and drew out a box of objects. They were all unfamiliar to Severus, yet it was apparent that they were all meant to be used for erotic stimulation. Lucius had become increasingly daring in his suggestions of late -- they had fucked on the lionskin rug in the parlor, even in Lucius' mother's bed, with Lucius' hands bound to the headboard. "When did you become so..."

"...kinky?" Lucius finished for him, wrapping his arms around Severus' waist and pressing close. "I could ask you the same thing, you know. You've become enthusiastic about things I would have expected you to balk at a few months ago. I've enjoyed discovering your...proclivities." His tongue moved along Severus' jaw. "Have I used the magic wand on you?"

"The magic wand?" Severus tried not to shiver as Lucius' tongue tickled him. It was evident that Lucius meant something other than their own wands, lying atop their clothing. "I...no...don't think you have."

"Ooh," smiled Lucius. "Even if I don't touch you with it, you'll feel it, deep inside. It vibrates, and it spins..." Severus felt his cock twitch into Lucius' hip. "Oh, dear, I've been terribly remiss with you." Lowering his head, Severus gave in to the urge to suck on one of Lucius' nipples, making Lucius sigh softly. "There's far too much I haven't tried with you. This remarkable device starts to move, and wriggle, and twist, and it shakes, just a little, when it's warm. The warmer it gets, the more it moves..."

Watching as Lucius trailed a hand up his leg, Severus felt his cock twitch. He was tempted to say that nothing could possibly feel as good as Lucius inside him when Lucius was fucking him slowly, touching him, hitting all the right spots, but he raised a curious eyebrow.

"We have what's left of the night...how many times do you think you could come?" Smiling again, Lucius leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Severus' belly. Severus remembered coming in Lucius' hand and then his mouth and then, after a brief rest, inside him, with Lucius pressed into a pulsating enchanted pillow. But he also remembered Lucius taking him so hard that he could not manage a second time that day. "I think I did manage to make you come four times in an afternoon once, I wonder what it would take to make it five..."

Teasingly, Lucius flicked his tongue over Severus' cock. Some time he wished Lucius would do this for hours -- leaning over with his hair falling across his thighs, kissing and stroking his cock, then drawing back and kissing and stroking his face, unhurried. As if he sensed the thought, Lucius murmured, "I need to send my parents away for several weeks...have you here, all to myself. For days..." Leaning over, he kissed Severus tenderly, his lips lingering. Severus' arms slid around his back, holding him there as he wondered what Lucius would say if he ever asked him to forego the toys and the restraints and to make love to him with only his voice, his words, promises he would never mean...but Lucius' mouth on his skin was irresistible, and fucking him so thrillingly dirty, it was more than enough distraction. Severus thought there were increasingly few secrets left between the two of them, but this was one worth keeping to himself. He arched up, straining to press against Lucius, who slipped an arm underneath him as he stretched out at his side.

"Tell me what you want," he whispered, "and I'll do it. Better than Bellatrix could. Better than anyone. You'll never need anyone but me."

"I want everything," Severus replied, before he realized that of course he was asking too much. "Whatever you said you wanted to try...I want that." Lucius grinned, kissed Severus again, then dug into the box, pulling out a rounded pink object about the width of his thumb and a jar of salve. Severus looked at the small object with some trepidation as Lucius tugged on it gently, making it expand in his fingers. He peered at Severus and grinned. "The best part? It will shape itself to you. And find that sweet spot inside you. I do love enchanted toys." Opening the jar, he applied oil liberally to the strange device, then moved to Severus' side. "Ready?"

"All right," Severus nodded, wishing that he could silence the tiny ache of doubt that never left him where Lucius was concerned. He wondered whether he would ever be able to trust Lucius completely...and whether he would disappear if he did, becoming entirely Lucius' creature.

"Don't look so nervous," Lucius soothed, and reached between Severus' legs to nudge the toy against his opening. "It won't hurt." Physical pain was not what Severus feared; Lucius had given him that on occasion, and it had always been manageable, sometimes even heightening the experience. He heard mocking laughter in memory, and nodded. The magic wand slipped almost effortlessly inside, and Lucius withdrew his hand, resting it on Severus' belly. He kissed his shoulder, then his neck, finally his lips. "Give it a moment," he whispered, lifting his head, watching Severus' face, waiting to see his reaction.

Severus felt the strange intrusion, more subtle than a finger or Lucius' cock. It moved within him less mechanically than the vibrations he expected from having seen similar toys in Muggle pornography -- some of the Slytherins at Hogwarts had had quite a collection of the forbidden material -- and he instinctively twitched upward. Heat like shame crept over his skin. He wished Lucius were not watching him so closely; he flinched, cock throbbing, as a hand rubbed over his belly.

"Just wait," Lucius whispered. "It gets so much better." Lowering his face, he nuzzled Severus' neck and reached down to stroke his cock. "I enjoy watching you so much," he whispered. "You try so hard not to be expressive, yet..." Groaning, Severus felt his cock leap against Lucius' palm at the same moment the thing inside him flared to life, touching him so perfectly that he thought for a moment he would come from that simple touch. An instant later it faded, leaving him trembling with pleasure and achingly hard. Nipping at Severus' earlobe, Lucius took his hand away. "See? That's good, isn't it?"

"It's...aah!" The feeling surged again, even more strongly without Lucius' hand on him to distract him. Severus felt drips of fluid spill out of his cock, and wondered both why it shamed him and why the shame itself was so arousing.

"Oh..." Leaning over, Lucius licked at Severus' belly. He glanced up at him and smiled. "I could do this with you for hours. It thrills me to see you like this." There were bright spots of color on Lucius' cheeks, and he tilted forward and licked Severus' cock. Severus' fingers clutched at Lucius' shoulder, digging in hard as the enchanted device set his nerves on fire at the moment Lucius' tongue touched him. His legs were trembling; he felt weak and vulnerable, and at the same time thrilled. "How fast does it..." He could not finish the sentence before the thing worked its magic again.

"It seems to be completely dependent on how aroused you are," Lucius replied, licking Severus again. "Oh, and you're just dripping." Lucius reached down and gave his own cock a squeeze. "Do you think you could come from this? I would love to see that..."

"I..." Severus' voice caught and rattled in his throat as the surges inside came faster and harder, overwhelming him. He was certain that he could, and would, come from this, untouched, like a boy who could not control himself...he had a flash of memory from Hogwarts, coming in his robes, untouched, while watching two other boys (Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, even though he pretended not to know because he couldn't see their faces), touching each other under the Quidditch stands, and he cried out in embarrassment and pleasure.

Lucius' other hand clenched into a fist around Severus', his nails digging into Severus' palm as he watched Severus' body taut with pleasure. He licked his lip and sat back on his heels, breath coming in short little gasps. "Severus," he whispered, "I want you to be only mine. I want to take you, over and over...and feel you fucking me until I scream. I want to lick our come from your skin."

Severus' eyes opened wide, and he opened his mouth to suck in a breath, but before he could think about speaking, even to ask whether Lucius had spoken or he had imagined it, his body was gripped by a red haze of ecstasy and he screamed, tearing at the bedcovers beneath his frantic hand. The spasms that pulsed through his cock and sent his come shooting over his skin hardly registered beside the great clutching ache inside him. He could feel Lucius staring, digging his teeth into his bottom lip as he watched. The older man gave Severus a brief moment before gently holding him down with a hand on his hip, reaching to remove the toy.

Severus wanted to cry out again as Lucius pulled the device from him, and could not say whether it was from relief or regret. He was shaking all over, tears leaking from his eyes. Lucius set the device aside, then, his hands gentle on Severus' side, leaned over his body and began to clean his skin with his tongue. He was desperately grateful, not only because he was always moved when Lucius showed him any affection, but also because he was terrified what he might say before his control returned. Swiping at his face, he slid a hand into Lucius' hair.

"That was fantastic," Lucius murmured against his skin, still licking traces of come from his lips. "It was just perfect. Just the way I imagined it would be." He moved along Severus' body and kissed his chest, licked his nipples, sucked his neck on the way up. "I think I..." Stopping, Lucius stared down at him. Though he wondered what Lucius had wanted to say, Severus did not trust his voice to ask. Instead he reached up and pulled him down, licking himself from Lucius' lips. Instinctively Lucius squirmed on top of him, hips seeking for something to press against. His hand groped blindly for the bed and the oil as he moaned, "Want you so much."

Still not trusting himself to speak, Severus nodded; he wondered if it would be painful to have Lucius inside him while he was so raw and sensitive, then thought that if it did hurt, he might be grateful to be brought back into his body so jarringly, perhaps stopping his shaking. When Lucius kissed him again, his hand shook. "Are you all right?" Lucius asked. "Do you want me to give you more time?"

"No -- no," Severus stammered. "Take...do...what you..." His lover hushed him, kissing him over and over, his arm slipping under Severus' back again. "It's just overwhelming," Severus managed. "That thing. And you, being with...I..." He blinked in horror, wondering how a sex toy could have affected his tongue. "Lucius, please..." He groaned, desperate to stop speaking.

"Shh..." Lucius kissed him again, then pulled back to slick his cock. "You have never looked so tempting." Reaching behind Severus, he grabbed one of the oversized pillows and shoved it under his hips. "Is this all right?"

"Yes...please, come here..." Severus rocked his hips upward, pulling Lucius forward to him. He wanted to kiss him, but wondered if he would be able to stop if he started. Lucius guided himself into his body, biting back a moan as he slowly slid in. He pulled out almost completely, then pushed forward again, again, until he was buried to the hilt. Doubled over Severus' body, he strained against him for a kiss. Severus could do nothing but move with Lucius, raising his head to meet his lips. "Your love slave," he thought with no irony, speaking the words without realizing it.

Lucius' fingers tangled in Severus' hair. "That's right, love..." he gasped, thrusting slowly.

"Lucius." Severus felt the name slip past his lips again and again, "Lucius," in between kisses, arching to impale himself on the cock pushing him open, "Lucius..."

"Oh --" Lucius shuddered, gasped, "Severus. Mine..." The burn was beginning inside again, different than it felt with the device touching him so perfectly. Pressing his cock upward against Lucius, though he didn't understand how he could be responding again so quickly and almost wishing he were not, Severus was sure it must have seemed like surrender, to be so needy, to be so completely owned. "I'm...Lucius...I..."

"Shhh...it's all right...I've got you," Lucius soothed, though his voice was thick, shaking. He shuddered, his hips finally starting to move in a faster, jerkier rhythm. "Let...let go...I can't keep..."

Severus was moving with him, crying out, digging his hands into the flesh of Lucius' back and the silky blond hair. "Lucius," he heard himself say. "I..." And suddenly he knew what he was about to tell him. He bit down on his lip so hard that it split and bled, the pain stopping him from speaking, but the thought was in his head, inescapable, pounding through his body as Lucius was pressing him.

He felt his lover gasp, shaking, in his arms, against his body. "Love," Lucius whimpered again, and quite suddenly it was over -- he shuddered, hips jerking, and came with a soft cry. Heat seared Severus, in his head, in his groin; there was a scream building in him, half pain, half excruciating pleasure, and usually he would have tried to hold it in, not to let Lucius witness such weakness in him, but he could not fight this; his head fell back and his throat ached with his cry.

Lucius lay on top of Severus, tremors still running through his body. "Oh, _fuck_," he whispered. For a few minutes it felt as though one of them had uttered a spell to freeze time. They hardly moved, hardly breathed.

Eventually, Severus felt the strain in his muscles overtake even his desire to lie still with Lucius, wrapped in his embrace. No amount of inward cursing could prevent his legs from falling to the mattress. "Tired," he muttered, not wanting to think, afraid to try to understand whatever had passed between them that night.

"Yes." Painfully Lucius lifted his head and slid to Severus' side, pulling up the covers, not even bothering to scourgify them or the bed. His arms went around Severus' waist, and he held on tightly, ordering the candles out with a charm. "Sleep now."

"Lucius..." But he did not dare say the words. Even if they were accepted, welcomed, they might be taken as a sign of complete surrender, and Severus did not dare risk that, not now, when so much was changing so quickly. Sighing, he leaned into the embrace, wondering whether there would ever be anyone else with whom he could want to share his bed, his body, or his pure blood.


	10. New World

In the middle of a quiet afternoon, as Severus Snape read through a series of Ministry dispatches on criminal uses of polyjuice potion, Lucius Malfoy tossed down the _Daily Prophet_ and uttered the words that Severus feared most:

"I'm so bored."

"Let's go somewhere," suggested Severus immediately. A bored Malfoy was a dangerous Malfoy -- at best he might only come up with a mischievous erotic suggestion, but in such a mood Lucius was apt to fly into a temper, disappearing to parts unknown or turning his frustration on Severus, who knew that he was hopelessly provincial compared to the wealthy, sophisticated older wizard and had little hope of keeping him entertained.

"Where could we go?" Severus did not like to suggest shopping, as Malfoy had far more money than he ever would, and he suspected that Lucius was as tired of Quidditch and Muggle cricket matches as he was, himself. While he was considering, Lucius stood, stretched the perfectly formed muscles under his golden skin, and said, "Let's go away from here. Somewhere that involves packing. And spending money. And seeing things that don't exist in this part of the world."

An idea came to Severus. It was a lot to ask, perhaps, but sometimes Lucius liked it when he surprised him. "There's a dark arts convention in Munich that starts tomorrow. Wizards from all over Europe will be there. If it's true that a Durmstrang student has made strides in developing a potion to treat the effects of lycanthropy, we could be the first to see it."

"That's true..." Lucius looked tempted for a moment, but then he flopped back into his chair. "I don't think they'll ever cure us of werewolves, unfortunately. And there will be people at that convention whom I don't want to put up with, the ones who attend not because they have true research interests but because they think it's dangerous or taboo to study the dark arts." His eyes narrowed, and he repeated, "Taboo." Swinging around, he looked at Severus. "Why don't we go to New Orleans?"

"In America?" asked Severus stupidly. He'd never been further from home than France, and Lucius was proposing to travel across the ocean to a country where (it seemed to Severus) they had, not very many years before, hanged people accused of practicing witchcraft. But Lucius was smiling, so he attempted to match his enthusiasm. "It would certainly be...exotic."

"Just think," Lucius beamed, "the New World. Voudou. The Muggle food and music is supposed to be wonderful. Besides, in America nobody will care who we are or where we come from, and..." His smile turned lecherous. "I want to fuck you in a bed in an inn and have people clean up after us, instead of elves."

"Naughty, Lucius," chided Severus, but the older man was already pulling him to his feet and through the house to his bedroom, where he brought several trunks out of a closet. He waved his wand, and a moment later, clothing, toiletries and other items began flying across the room from drawers and closets, packing themselves.

Severus watched the trunks filling and gazed at Lucius' pleased expression as he strode around picking up other items he needed. "I'm sick to death of this place," he announced, glaring at the embroidered tapestries hanging above his bed. "This house, and work, and my parents, and...everything. I need to go someplace else, and I want you to come with me."

While Lucius' gaze swept the furniture , pondering whether or not he'd forgotten anything, Severus glanced across the elegant room and decided that it might be wisest not to ask questions. If he were to travel with Lucius, he liked the idea of it being to a place where Lucius had never been, so that at least they would be equals in the novelty of the experience. "Let me send an owl to work, and stop at home to pick up some clothes..."

"I took care of that for you this morning," admitted Lucius, as his eyes showed a flicker of what might have been an apology. "It occurred to me to go away last night. Then I thought, 'Wouldn't it be wonderful to show Severus a part of the world he's never seen before?' I didn't think you'd say no. You need a vacation -- I was asked no questions when I told your supervisor that I required your company."

Severus could not decide whether to be appalled or amused. He knew better than to tell Lucius that if a Malfoy demanded the presence of Severus Snape for consultation, even if it caused him to miss days of work, his superiors would let him go without a word of complaint, nor ask too many questions upon his return. Moreover, if what Lucius was saying was true, he had picked the destination with Severus in mind. "You planned this trip...around _me_?" he asked, allowing his surprise to speak for itself.

"I did. Although your mother believes that we are traveling on Ministry business, and I promised that you would owl _her_." Kneeling on the floor, Lucius stuffed some papers into a trunk and closed it, then looked up at Severus with excitement in his eyes. "So let's go. Get your things. Why are you hesitating?"

"It's just that I'm sure it will cost a great deal, and I already owe you so much...I shouldn't get used to living like this..."

"Honestly, Severus. Indulge me. Think of it as an early birthday present. I've made the arrangements for you to go, it's not a problem that you're missing work, and I will fetch a scroll right now so that you can write to your parents." A moment later there was parchment beside Severus, with a quill already writing the opening pleasantries for him.

While the quill scratched, Severus watched Lucius move through the room. The older man's behavior over the previous few days had been unfathomable. It was as though Severus' confession that Lucius owned him had freed Lucius to stop trying to coerce such an acknowledgment from him. Lucius had been kind, even affectionate -- Severus nearly thought romantic, though he had so little experience of that sort of attachment that he hesitated to use the term. Despite his resistance to words that Lucius uttered on the verge of climax, which might just as easily have been addressed to a fantasy as to himself, Severus appreciated the change; he did not want to think about what Lucius might want of him that required the sort of bond that seemed to be forming.

Quite pleasantly, Lucius inquired, "Are you finished yet?" Severus was constructing a fiction for his father -- a discussion of potential work to be done in America with the veiled suggestion that he and Lucius might enjoy themselves with bronze-skinned, bead-clad witches -- a lie that he assumed his parents were near to disbelieving, though Severus thought that even if they suspected the true nature of his relationship with Lucius Malfoy, they would never say a word to anyone. Finishing the letter, he rolled it and handed it to Lucius, who stepped out of the room to give it to one of the plush-feathered, well-mannered birds in the private owlery.

While Lucius was gone, Severus removed what clothes he kept at the Malfoy home and began to put them into a trunk. By the time Lucius returned, he was sitting on the bed with his shoulders hunched and his knees drawn up -- not looking at all like someone anticipating a vacation, he realized, forcing himself to uncoil and stand. "Can I travel like this?" he asked, embarrassed.

"Wait." Striding past him, Lucius opened a wardrobe and retrieved a box, which he set down on the bed and opened. "I had these made for you." Severus stared from Lucius to the gleaming fabric of the contents. "You shouldn't have," he said, awed, extending one finger to touch, fearful of carelessly staining the expensive clothing.

"Of course I should have," retorted Lucius, shrugging one shoulder. "You should wear color more often; black makes your complexion sickly. And look...Slytherin green." When he reached out to begin removing what Severus was already wearing, Severus kept still, wondering whether Lucius might be playing out a childhood craving for a pet or perhaps a doll. Lucius had no need to court him; Lucius had never needed to offer him gifts or tokens, not from the first night he had invited Severus to his room and asked him in the simplest terms to satisfy him. Why Lucius was suddenly treating him like a cherished...yes, pet would do...Severus could not imagine.

Yet Lucius adjusted the new robes on Severus, trailing fingertips over his arms with a satisfied smile, before guiding Severus to the full-length mirror between the closets. "You should see. It's remarkable what a little color will do."

Severus blinked at his own image; he supposed that the color did suit him as well as any shade might, but what appeared more remarkable was how the robes resembled what Lucius wore, contrasting shades but certainly the same tailor. They looked like -- well, certainly not brothers, for Lucius' bright hair and fair complexion would have made him stand out beside nearly anyone -- but very nearly peers. "Thank you," said Severus, feeling humbled, though still entirely puzzled as to what Lucius was up to.

"You're very welcome." Lucius cast their reflection one last appraising look before guiding Severus away. "We will be staying in the very heart of wizarding society in the city. But I think you'll find that in parts of New Orleans it may be difficult to tell the wizards from the charlatans." Turning away, he picked up a few bags. "You speak some French, don't you? We'll be at l'Hotel Voisin in the French Quarter..."

Severus only nodded. There was little he could contribute; other than some reading about legendary haunted houses, voudou and macumba, and a popular series of Muggle novels about generations of witches from New Orleans, he knew little about the city and nothing about its fashionable lodgings. "Provided they didn't completely make a mess of things after the owl I sent, our room should be ready," Lucius was continuing. "I'm sure that they will be more than happy to be of assistance after the advance I sent them. Do you have everything? Don't worry too much if you don't, we can buy it there."

The spell that Lucius used to send the luggage on its way was not one that Severus had heard before, and he experienced a moment of panic as he contemplated the distance across which they would be traveling -- impossible by floo powder, extremely difficult to apparate for any but an extremely powerful wizard. But he had always wanted to see America, and he _did_ want to travel with Lucius far from London, someplace where no one could possibly recognize either of them, where perhaps Lucius would be seen in public with him as an equal...or at least a friend.

"Come here," Lucius said, pulling something from a pocket. At first Severus thought it might be a time-turner, but instead of a miniature hourglass, the long chain held a tiny globe with golden continents and silver seas. Lucius turned it as if it were a lock that required a specific combination of twists to open, holding Severus against him with his free arm. He was smiling, his face as open and cheerful as that of a child, with none of the sneering or conceit that often clouded his expressions. "Now hold on, and don't blame me if you look down."

With a loud whooshing sound like the arrival of a great storm, the walls and floor dropped away. Severus had the overwhelming impression of hurtling at inconceivable speed across the sky -- of land and then ocean rushing by far beneath him -- clenching his eyes shut, he felt on his skin the sensation of icy air giving way to a somewhat warmer wind. He clung tightly to Lucius, whose exhilarated laugh was the one constant in the mad tempest.

After an interminable passage -- a few minutes? a quarter of an hour? -- the world zoomed back into focus around them and the ground rose up to their feet. They were outdoors, standing in a small park, and Severus felt all his senses assaulted at once. The sun was warmer, brighter than he had seen it in months, gleaming off shining green leaves and the water of a bird bath; he could hear birds, insects, distant voices, Muggle traffic, a dog, a far-off train, and a slow, sad melody being played on a horn of some sort; the air smelled of flowers he couldn't identify, and cooking fish, and mud, and himself and Lucius sweating in their fine clothes, still clutching at one another.

Lucius laughed breathlessly, keeping an arm around him until they reached the edge of the greenery and stepped onto the walk. "It's right over here." Across the way stood an enormous, ornately decorated mansion, with curtains blowing out the windows and blooms spilling out of pots on the porch. Severus followed Lucius inside, where the older man stalked past a line of wizards to the front desk and waved to a rather flustered-looking innkeeper. They exchanged words, then the innkeeper walked away, and a boy not much younger than Severus emerged from a back room, bearing a set of keys.

As they took a spinning spiral staircase to the uppermost floor, Severus looked around, from the windows facing the street to the common rooms inside. The inn was bright with early morning light streaming through all the windows, which were open to the breeze, smelling of fresh flowers and spices and something else that Severus thought must have been the river. Noticing his distraction, Lucius smiled indulgently. "Come on," he said, "we can look around as soon as we've settled in. It's several hours earlier on this side of the world; we have all day."

Severus followed without speaking, wondering whether Lucius had registered under his own name and how many rooms he had paid for. Would the hotel manager understand that they were sharing a bed or would only their maids know? The young man led them down a bright hallway, through an open door into a large, spacious suite of rooms with a single, very large bed. Their luggage, Severus noted, had preceded them, and it appeared that their robes had been hung in one of the closets.

Lucius tipped the young man, who stared at the foreign coin, then departed silently. As he shed the outer layer of his clothing, he smiled at Severus. "Here we are. What would you like to do first?" Stepping to the window, Severus leaned out and took a deep breath, thinking that there must have been an enchantment around l'Hotel Voisin to screen out Muggle pollution and filth because he could smell only the flowers and the nearby muddy water, thick and slightly bitter yet teeming with life. Lucius allowed him a moment to adjust to the surroundings -- the New World, Severus reminded himself, nearly half a world away from his own dark, drafty home and from the equally dark, stifling velvet-and-wood rooms in Lucius' family mansion.

Then he felt Lucius wrap his arms around his chest to nuzzle the side of his neck, and Severus' hands began to fumble at the clasp on his robes, wanting to feel the air on his skin. Mouth moving up to Severus' ear, Lucius did his best to help him take off the garment. "I'm so pleased that you came with me," he whispered as he stroked Severus' bare chest and belly.

"Thank you for bringing me here." It humbled Severus to know that he had nearly run away from this, and that he had spent so much time worrying about Lucius' motives that he could not permit himself to enjoy what was offered. Things might still end badly, but that was not a reason to refuse to enjoy the present moment. Turning in Lucius' arms, he wrapped an arm around his neck, kissing him more passionately than he would usually have risked.

Lucius' arms tightened around him, and his response to the kiss was just as passionate. He let one arm move away from Severus to begin to work at his own robes. Severus wondered whether the flowers blooming just outside the window were producing an intoxicant, for he felt eager, even lightheaded. He was in a beautiful place with a beautiful man, and before he could cringe at the mawkishness of that last thought, he pulled Lucius to him again, tangling his fingers in Lucius' hair, exploring his mouth for many blissful moments. When Lucius drew back, he murmured, "The air here seems to agree with you."

"No," replied Severus, shaking his head. "That is, yes, but not only." He wanted to explain that it was not the air but the ease with which Lucius was smiling at him, as if they were lovers on holiday together rather than a wealthy, powerful man who had brought along a fawning youth to keep him entertained -- a precarious balance that might collapse at any time. His own lips twitched as he ventured, "I would like to see if the bed is comfortable."

Lucius raised an eyebrow, but his smile did not waver as he took Severus' hand to tug him close. They kissed over and over while Lucius moved backward to the bed, nearly tripping over one of the oversized curtains draping from the canopy onto the floor around it; he was laughing as he pulled Severus down with him. "I'm so glad to be away." He wrapped arms and legs around Severus before adding, whispered in his ear, "...and with you."

Severus refused to analyze the comment -- to look for hidden meanings, taunts, anything that might have spoiled it. He only kissed Lucius back, turning against him, nuzzling his thighs and swollen cock, wanting simply to give and receive pleasure. He had planned to ask Lucius to fuck him, but if they fucked now, he would inevitably think of power games, positions and rules, what might constitute going too far...he did not want to think, only to enjoy the feeling.

Lucius squirmed around, nipping playfully at Severus' thigh. His mouth moved up to brush Severus' hip, then kissed across his belly and lower, licking the head of his cock. Severus opened his mouth and sucked Lucius in, tasting warm skin that seemed made to be enjoyed in the salty-sweet air from the open windows. He tried to imagine being in the river, in water warm enough to make love, with the dark mud obscuring their bodies...he found himself remembering making love in the tub with Lucius, feeling tepid water enveloping his chest and arms in bubbling surges as he moved. It was good, and had been good for a long time, had he only taken a moment to realize it.

Lucius moaned softly, though Severus had the impression that he was keeping himself in check, refusing to thrust hard into his mouth. He continued to lick Severus, not teasingly, but unhurried, and his hands stroked the small of his back. Shuddering, Severus drew Lucius in, encouraging him to move deeper, for he knew that he would not last; he whimpered, then moaned around the cock in his mouth, feeling both relaxed and urgent all at once. Lucius, too, let out a muffled little groan, his fingers tightening on Severus' hip, and he closed his mouth around him, sliding along his length, sucking.

With a hand under Lucius' hip, Severus urged him to roll; he loved the feeling of Lucius' body over his, hair falling across his thighs, muscles surging against him. Yet the shift provided momentary distraction from the pleasure knotting deep inside him, triggering involuntary thrusts of his hips, making him gasp around Lucius' cock while it pressed toward his throat. Holding himself up with his elbows, Lucius did his best not to choke Severus, working his own mouth faster, sucking harder. Severus tried not to think about when Lucius had become so solicitous of him, focusing instead on how right it felt to have Lucius hard and shaking above him; he was tempted to take Lucius' buttocks in his hands and drag him down, squeezing, sucking, possessing. His own buttocks tensed, pushing him up from the bed into Lucius' welcoming mouth.

Then he was much too close, too close even to stop and groan a warning, with Lucius twitching against his tongue...he went rigid, spilling himself down Lucius' throat which closed around him as he swallowed. When he pulled back to breathe, Lucius moaned and pushed himself in at a deeper angle, groaning, "Severus--oh--oh!", clutching at Severus' thighs, letting out sounds like sobs as he came. Still trying to recover, Severus could not keep up with the flood that poured out of Lucius, which burned at the back of his nose and drowned his breath.

Choking, turning his head to the side, he was reminded of swimming in the ocean when he was a small child. It had been one of the few vacations his family ever took...a wave took him down, and for a few horrible seconds before his father had pulled him up, he had been certain that he was going to die there with the salt and grit in his throat. But once he recovered, the sun had seemed brighter, the sea bluer, and his parents had spent the whole day trying to console him with sweets. He had so few happy memories untainted by bittersweet moments, and these months with Lucius had been among the happiest of his life...forgetting for a moment that he could be heard, he whispered, "I must love you."

Though he was still shaking from his climax, Lucius pushed himself up and turned around to crawl to Severus' side, lowering himself onto his belly, half-covering Severus who had closed his eyes in fear and shame. Gentle fingers wiped his chin and mouth, and he peered out to see Lucius licking his own hand clean, smiling with a contented triumph that did not suggest conquest. Severus shut his eyes again; if Lucius was planning to gloat or mock him with his own words, he could not bear to know. Yet he felt only a kiss against his chin, then arms tunneling beneath his back, and he could not stop his own hands from encircling Lucius and holding on to him, letting the smooth, soft hair brush his face.

Lucius lifted his head, smiling at Severus, about to speak again when a noise from the hall made them both twist their heads up. The boy who had led them to their room pushed open the door, holding a spare set of keys and carrying fresh flowers and linens; he looked up to see the two of them on the bed together, naked and gleaming with sweat, and gaped before returning to his manners. Quickly excusing himself in French, he tried to back out the door, but Lucius rose, holding a pillow in front of his groin, and strode over to speak to him in a low voice before snatching the keys from his hand and closing the door in his face. Severus had turned onto his belly to hide his nakedness, tugging the bedcovers over himself, and he glanced cautiously at Lucius as he returned, wondering whether the other man would now be furious or withdrawn.

Dropping the keys on the table beside the bed, Lucius climbed beneath the heavy blankets with Severus, though the room was really too warm to require such covers. "I told him that if he ever looked at you again, I'd curse his family."

Severus snorted, "I hardly think that he was looking at _me_. Are you worried that he is going to destroy your reputation?"

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't like him seeing us. Like that."

"I didn't want him staring at you while you were naked." Severus wondered whether Lucius was ashamed of his pale, scrawny body compared to Lucius' own gleaming skin; the clerks and pages at the inn all appeared to be tan and fit. "Because you're mine," Lucius added almost fiercely, pushing Severus over onto his back and leaning over him, "and no one should look at what's mine."

Severus could not think what to say -- neither what response Lucius might want nor how to explain his own feelings, a combination of pride and terror. Perhaps Lucius thought of him as something bought and paid for like this room and his robes. He remembered being told, not so long ago, that he was Lucius' whore, and even if Lucius had been jesting, Severus remained fearful that on some level it might be true. He wondered whether any part of Lucius was his.

"Aren't you mine?" The tone held the hint of a threat, but Severus could see that Lucius needed a reply; his mouth was soft, and his eyes were as vulnerable as Severus had ever seen them. Touching Lucius' face, he nodded slightly, and was rewarded with a broad smile from his seemingly delighted lover. "Good," Lucius said, and kissed him again, rolling to the side with a sigh of satisfaction. "Why don't I send down for some food, and after we've eaten, we can go walk through the French Quarter."

Lucius had a feast brought up -- okra stew, jambalaya and bread pudding, Cajun oysters and red beans, Creole shrimp, beignets -- so much food that Severus wondered whether he intended for them to taste all the specialties of the local cuisine before they ever ventured outside. When they finally walked through the glass-paneled doors onto the vast porch surrounding the inn, Lucius shaded his eyes with his hand, saying, "Ah, sunlight. I'd forgotten what that felt like, at home."

Severus glanced around at the people. Though it was nowhere near Mardi Gras -- a frenzied time in the wizarding world as well as among Muggles -- the youths dressed more outrageously than most in London, besides those young punks with colorful hair. There were public displays of affection taking place on the outskirts of the park where they had arrived, and noisy messengers riding two-wheeled vehicles with horns. "Later I shall take you to St. Louis Cemetery, and tonight we'll eat someplace with music," Lucius was promising. "But right now, I'd like to take you to a marketplace."

After hailing a mule-drawn carriage driven by a wizard -- he was dressed as a Muggle, but he spoke to the animals in equine language and allowed them to see his wand, hidden discreetly among his riding crops -- Lucius whispered a destination, then sat back with Severus, putting an arm around his shoulders. The driver kept up a running commentary, pointing out New Orleans landmarks in Jackson Square and along Bourbon Street, but Severus was scarcely listening. From behind exquisite wrought-iron fences and balustrades, flowering trees and shrubs filled the air with sweet scent, mingled occasionally with pipe smoke and frying food. Lucius had pulled out a guidebook on the region with moving pictures of swamps filled with alligators, a white-sand beach on the Gulf, ancient oak trees swaying on a plantation...nothing Severus had ever seen near his home across the sea. He thought that if there were a way to capture this day in its entirety to relive later on, he would like to do so.

"Well, well, well," chuckled a warm voice in his ear, making Severus realize that he was smiling dreamily. "You look like you've just spent a few hours getting the fucking of your life."

Raising a hand to his neck, Severus could feel a bruise left by Lucius' lips, though he did not think that it could be seen above his collar; he could feel another inside his thigh, too, which fortunately would not be evident to any passersby. "I have," he drawled, mimicking the local accent, sounding far more satisfied than he expected, and suddenly he could not help laughing.

"Good," Lucius agreed, stroking his free hand over a sleeve of the beautiful new clothing Severus wore. The fabric was light, designed for a warm climate such as this; he had never owned anything so frivolous as clothes for leisure, there had never been money for it, and his mother had been furious any time he had stained his robes. The fingers of Lucius' other hand lifted from his shoulder and wove into his hair, pulling him closer. "I was thinking that we should go down to the river tonight, when it gets dark. After dinner. We could make love under the stars."

"But..." Severus gaped. From what he understood, the area around the river was constantly crowded with people -- Muggles and their law enforcement officers, wizards in disguise, and some wizards who insisted upon making a spectacle of themselves by presenting themselves to Muggles as fortunetellers and mind-readers. "Won't people see us?"

"Honestly, Severus, anyone would think you had never heard of concealment charms and invisibility cloaks. The Muggles will never know that we were there, and the wizards will know better than to disturb such a charm in such a place."

"You were planning to kiss me where people could see us?"

"Yes." Lucius had a wicked grin on his face, and Severus knew better than to argue; moreover, he had not the slightest desire to question Lucius' motives. He glanced at his hair gleaming in the bright sunlight, squinting slightly, as the mules drew to a halt.

Lucius reached out and tugged excitedly on Severus' sleeve, like a child. "Here!" he announced triumphantly, paying the driver with American currency and leading Severus towards a small store that none of the numerous passersby seemed either to notice or to want to visit. To enter he wove past several Muggles and a few witches without a glance at them. "Dark arts," he said softly to Severus. "Supplies...anything you could want. The store has a spell that protects it, rather like the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts -- only those who know to look for it will ever see that it's here."

Severus sniggered faintly, for the shop was sandwiched between a brightly painted house with a glowing "Tarot Readings" sign above the door and an African imports boutique with terrifying-looking sculptures in the window. He hardly thought that the little dark arts store would have been likely to draw attention on this street even if it could have been seen by Muggles. "What do they have that we need here?" he asked.

"Oh, this and that..." Lucius twined his fingers with Severus', guiding him over to a display of poisons and other ingredients banned by the Ministry of Magic at home. "You may be able to find interesting herbs here that I would otherwise have to work very hard to acquire for you."

Amused, Severus reached out a finger to trace the raised foil letters on a package of cannabis sativa. "How interesting. And what did _you_ come in here for?"

"For you," Lucius replied softly.

Severus glanced at Lucius, then back at the display in front of him. There were rare lethal mushrooms, illegally harvested ivory for aphrodisiacs, roots believed to cause nymphomania, seeds known to subvert chemical birth control. He could not even think at the moment of what he might like to experiment with; it was too exhilarating to be standing in this strange place, holding hands with Lucius who had not let go of him, despite the fact that there were at least a half-dozen other wizards and witches in the shop, and the witches in particular were openly gazing at the handsome blonde man.

"There should be books here, too. And cursed artifacts, implements of torture, ouija boards owned by famous mediums..." Lucius glanced at Severus, then lifted their joined hands, kissing Severus' knuckles. "If there's anything you want, I'll get it." Severus was frozen in place, unable to move, expecting that anything he did might make Lucius remember where he was and drop his hand. He tried to make a pretense of glancing around at the shelves -- yes, there were prison shackles, and grinning Aztec faces that shot poisoned darts -- but his eyes kept returning to the only thing he truly wanted in the store, which was standing inches in front of him, smiling. "Don't you want to look around?" Lucius asked softly.

"I..." Severus urgently needed an excuse to touch Lucius. There was a potion purporting to protect the wearer from premature balding, sitting amidst the beauty oils and polyjuice preparations; he spilled a bit from a sample vial onto his finger and swiped it across Lucius' lips.

Lucius raised an eyebrow and grinned. "What's that supposed to do?"

"Keep your hair lustrous," Severus replied wryly, running his hand through the locks spilling over Lucius' shoulder. When he pulled back, he could see a witch staring at them; Lucius gave her a narrow-eyed grin until she turned away, blushing. Severus could not meet Lucius' eyes, knowing that if he turned, so close, he would try to kiss Lucius and forget the consequences. Casting his own eyes about the store, he spotted a display case containing a small golden amulet engraved with a winged horse: Pegasus, sacred to the Greek goddess of memory, Mnemosyne, and sometimes used to represent the hippocampus, the part of the brain most responsible for storing memories.

Though Severus had never seen one, he had seen photos of similar small round amulets, and recognized this one as a memory-locket. Once activated, it would send its owner back to the precise minute preserved within it as often as the owner wished, allowing the seconds to be relived -- physically and emotionally -- as if they were taking place anew. His hand fell on Lucius' arm. "I want that," he said, turning him toward the case, then flinching in embarrassment. The amulet was probably solid gold, and very expensive, and Lucius would know what he wanted it for...

Yet Lucius only smiled, waving over one of the shopkeepers and indicating the case. "We'll take that, please." Turning back to Severus, he said, "I am delighted to bring home souvenirs, but don't you want any of the herbs or the potions to try?"

"Well..." Severus glanced at bagged packets and vials, arranged alphabetically -- hellsbreath, hemlock, henbane, hunter's disguise. He grabbed items almost randomly, certain that later he would think of a dozen for which he should have looked, but none of them were in his mind at that moment -- he simply did not want to disappoint Lucius, who eagerly accepted the packets from his hands to be wrapped for transport by the shopkeepers. Taking Severus by the arm again, he walked to the counter, paid for everything with a shocking number of gold coins and asked to have all the herbs sent to their room at the inn. The amulet he handed to Severus, who put it around his neck beneath his clothing.

Lucius was holding his hand again when they left the shop, stopping briefly to look at the African sculptures in the store next door. The bright sunshine made Severus blink as his eyes watered; he hoped that Lucius would not notice, nor notice that his palm was sweating, and he wondered whether he was holding on so tightly that it might be considered clinging or so loosely that Lucius might believe he wanted to escape. Concerned that they might be attracting attention, he looked around, but the street was crowded with Muggles in skimpy clothes, and they were not the only men holding hands.

"Oh, food," Lucius said with some degree of relief, tugging Severus over to a fruit stand. "I'm ravenous, though I suppose I shouldn't be, after the size of the meal we just ate." Severus nodded; he still felt lightheaded, but he did not believe hunger was the cause. The stand had pralines and bananas which Lucius bought, neither a favorite of Severus' but he felt that while in New Orleans he should eat the food for which the region was famous.

They made their way through the crowd again to sit on a ledge around an old fountain -- now filled with flowers instead of water -- and Severus pulled his knees close to his body, wrapping his arms over them, fighting the inexplicable sensation that his limbs might fly off if he didn't keep track of them. The flowers behind them smelled exotically strong, like dizzying perfume. Lucius glanced at him. "Is the heat bothering you?"

"No, I'm just not used to it," Severus replied, accepting a banana when Lucius held one out. They were a rare indulgence at Hogwarts and something he had never eaten with his parents, who preferred their food, wool and ideas grown nearer to home. This one tasted very sweet and disintegrated wetly on his tongue, just past ripeness.

Lucius reached out and brushed Severus' hair back from his face, trailing fingers down his cheek. Softly he said, "I want you again."

Severus' hand trembled so that he very nearly dropped the banana. He had been slightly hard ever since Lucius took his hand leaving the shop, and Lucius' touch never failed to make him burn. "Should we go back?" he asked quietly.

"Would you like to?" Lucius leaned over and kissed him, making Severus squeeze the banana so tightly that he felt the skin deflate as fruit oozed over his fingers. He was torn between wanting to be back in bed with Lucius and wanting to stay outside, with Lucius touching him in full view of dozens of passersby. Why this should have made their being together seem more real was unclear to Severus, for they were anonymous in this city where not even the mighty name of Malfoy summoned respect and awe. Lucius pulled him to his feet, and then, after grabbing the bag with their uneaten sweets, once more started to lead him along the walk.

But instead of heading back to the inn, he pulled Severus into an alleyway between two buildings. "Can't wait," he said softly, tugging Severus against him for another kiss. Severus made an urgent noise and tried to look around but he could see only Lucius and the wall of the building behind him, half-covered by a dumpster and a stack of newspapers that looked as if they had been there for quite some time. He trembled slightly as he returned the kiss, unable to believe that Lucius meant to do this, there.

"Did you swallow one of those aphrodisiacs in the shop?" he managed to get out.

Lucius grinned at him as he opened Severus' robes. "Perhaps I inhaled one."

Severus looked around again. While the alley was closed to vehicular traffic, there was nothing to stop any pedestrians from taking a shortcut through, absolutely nothing to block himself and Lucius from view, and he could not even reach his wand to utter the weak invisibility charm he might have managed. "But, Lucius, _here_..."

"Yes," Lucius agreed, dropping to his knees, leaning forward and kissing Severus' hip, "right _here_." His fingers stroked teasingly over Severus' cock. "Don't you want me?" Severus' groin jerked forward even as he told himself to close his robes and beg Lucius to take him back to the inn. He could not answer in words, could only groan. "I'll take that as a yes," Lucius murmured, and his tongue started to follow his fingers, licking Severus with the same playfulness. He inched forward slightly, and his free hand reached back to cup Severus from behind.

Knees shaking, Severus grabbed onto Lucius' shoulder for support. He could see the shadows of people passing by the entrance to the alley, pausing to light cigarettes or fumble with their bags; he was certain that they would be discovered at any moment. "Lucius...please..."

"Yes, Severus?" Lucius' tongue circled around the head of his cock before he took it into his mouth, sliding over it slowly. A noise just to Severus' left made him nearly jump out of his skin as Lucius began to suck him; it turned out to be a bird scavenging in the garbage, but his heart was pounding wildly and his legs trembled even more. Lucius' hair spread out across his back in a golden fan, much too clean and beautiful for this dirty back corner of the city; Severus tried to grab a handful to tilt his head back, yet ended up only stroking it in his slippery fingers.

This made the older man hum softly, contentedly, as his mouth moved leisurely over Severus. Sometimes he would take Severus into his throat as far as he could, but then his lips would pull off to let only his tongue slide up and down the length. He did not appear to be interested in letting the exquisite torment end. Severus thought about what it would be like to walk through the city with Lucius afterward, knowing that Lucius' mouth was coated with his come. He shuddered; he knew that he was not going to be able to stop what Lucius was doing, not until it was over, probably not even if a Muggle policeman came down the alley, which was entirely possible given the distant flash of sirens somewhere out in the street. "Lucius, please," he begged again.

Briefly, Lucius glanced up at him, flashing a naughty grin, lowering his mouth over Severus' cock -- slowly, far too slowly, devoted to the task of driving Severus insane. This was intolerable, decided Severus; they might be imprisoned if Lucius insisted on continuing like this. Closing his fingers over the back of Lucius' neck, he thrust far more aggressively than he'd ever dared before. Lucius' hands moved to grab Severus' hips, but he did not try to slow him; he choked, yet did not push him away. Severus could just hear his now-ragged breathing over the sound of his own pounding heart.

There was a scream just beyond the entrance to the alley, a bunch of young men standing mere feet away, shouting and joking with each other, and if any of them were to look...Severus shocked himself by turning his head away and closing his eyes. This sensation was worth any consequences -- Lucius letting him fuck his mouth. It felt as though Lucius might be shaking, perhaps with the effort it took not to pull away. Yet he didn't, crouched in the filthy alley, possibly seconds away from discovery, remaining on his knees with Severus' cock sliding in and out of his mouth.

And Severus was very close, his toes cramping as they tensed in his shoes, his chest heaving with the effort to breathe; yet, though he suspected that he was about to have the climax of his life, the feeling that surged through him was not lust. Lucius took his hands, squeezing them reassuringly in his fingers as he swallowed convulsively around Severus' cock. "Fuck I love..." Severus gasped, but that was as far as he got before the spasms wracking his lower body rose into his throat, turning into a choked wail as he spurted into Lucius' throat.

Though he swallowed as much as he could, Lucius pulled back coughing and ducked his head to wipe his mouth. Severus quickly tore his hand away from Lucius, trying to catch the dripping fluid with his fingers. He stared down at the man still on his knees, with a faint trail of come running over the side of his jaw and dripping onto his beautiful clothes. "Fuck," Severus whispered, and leaned forward to lick it off.

Lucius rose unsteadily to his feet, wiping at his face, staring at the ground. "Good?" he asked. Trembling, Severus tried to speak, but did not trust his voice; he nodded instead. He needed to fasten his clothing but was afraid that if he moved his arms, they would throw themselves around Lucius, who nodded and looked hesitantly at Severus as he fastened his robes for him. "Good," he said softly, answering his own question with a contented smile.

"Fucker!" came a shout from the entrance to the alley. Severus nearly put his head through the wall behind him, but the shout was not directed at himself and Lucius; the street outside had become more crowded as it grew closer to dinnertime. Heart still pounding, he rested a hand on Lucius' arm to steady himself.

"Did you want...to go...?"

"Back to the inn," replied Lucius. His voice sounded low and seductive, not at all afraid.

"Walking? Or...?" If the alley had been hidden well enough for what Lucius had just done, Severus wondered whether it was isolated enough to risk apparating. Much as he cherished the fantasy of walking through the streets of New Orleans with Lucius, he thought that perhaps he wanted to lie down, sooner rather than later; recover his strength, hold his lover, offer him the same pleasure he had been given.

Lucius glanced down the alley. Then, looking at Severus again, he shrugged one shoulder and grasped his wand. "May as well. L'Hotel Voisin -- don't forget." With a pop, he vanished.

Preparing to follow, Severus straightened his clothing and hair, and his fingers encountered the chain around his neck. Pulling gently, he drew the amulet up until he could see it. Suddenly grateful that Lucius had left him alone, he studied it until he understood how to open the locket, brushing down the wings of the flying horse until his finger rested on its head.

Then he took a deep breath with his head tilted upward to the sun. He drew in the stench of the alley, with the gardens and food stalls just beyond...the blue of the sky gleaming over the dirty building...the cursing and noises of traffic in the street, and, far off, a single crowing trumpet...the silk of his new clothes, now itching where it clung to him, the dampness behind his neck and beneath his arms and between his legs...the taste of banana and Lucius' skin and his own come on his lips. He held the sensations in his mind, desire, satiation, memories of every step leading to this moment, the feeling that he had very nearly named twice, Lucius' eyes, Lucius' smile...eyes closed, he smiled himself, and squeezed the locket shut, preserving it all forever just as it was, that minute in the new world.


	11. Triage

As he came, Severus Snape was vaguely conscious of a door swinging open and a draft of cool air falling across his exposed chest. But his eyes were filled with Lucius Malfoy, and he was in no position to wonder about the change until his body stopped shuddering and his lover jolted upright with a hiss.

Lucius fell very still, then, his hands still braced on either side of Severus' head. He stared down for a moment before slowly turning his head to look over his shoulder, expressionless.

"I should have known," said a voice like ice. Though Severus could not see Narcissa Malfoy's face, he would have recognized that tone in the dark. "So this is why you haven't shared my bed all these months."

Lucius didn't seem particularly worried as he took his time moving away from Severus, getting to his feet and picking up a discarded robe. "If you should have known," he said, "you shouldn't look so surprised."

Severus struggled to sit up, his head still pounding from the intensity of his climax. He could not reach his clothes, so he bent his legs and pulled a decorative pillow over his body to hide his waning erection, trying not to stain it with the fluid that coated his skin. He also tried not to stare at the tableau before him: the beautiful, furious Narcissa, and the equally beautiful, preternaturally calm Lucius, staring at one another.

"We are supposed to be furthering a _dynasty_," she hissed. "I have never fooled myself that you married me for love, rather than to merge our two families. But where is our brood of little Malfoys?" A deep breath steadied her rising voice. "What do you have to show for your life, besides what you've inherited from your father and..." She gestured contemptuously in Severus' direction, refusing to look at him. "This."

Lucius secured his robe rather haphazardly, as though he was not expecting to be wearing it for very long -- more to ward of the chill than out of any notion of privacy. "Is this supposed to upset me?" he asked, sounding vaguely amused. "I'll give you a child when I'm ready to. Until then, I need my distractions."

"You..." Narcissa halted with her lips puckered. Severus could see that she was on the verge of calling her husband a name that might have sent him into a rage; on the other hand, Lucius might have considered it weakness on her part to utter such a thing. Her throat worked as though swallowing back her first several responses to his dismissive comment. "Is there any reason that I should wait for you to give me a child?" she demanded finally, clenching her fist until the knuckles turned white.

"We would appear to be bound to the arrangements of our marriage. It will be extraordinarily difficult to save face if either of us chooses to back out now, wouldn't it? And think of what your father would say." There was amusement in Lucius' voice.

"I wasn't speaking of backing out of our marriage!" Now Narcissa's eyes glittered, and her lips remained parted in triumph. Clearly she believed she had something to hold over him. Her eyes flickered over to Severus, aware of his gaze on her, and she tossed her elegantly coiffed head. "It is not necessary for the Malfoy heir to be fathered by a man who prefers to..." Lips curling in a half-smile, her eyes drifted to her husband once more. "...who prefers to expend his energies elsewhere."

"That would be a very foolish thing to do, Narcissa," said Lucius, still calm, but his amusement gone. Suddenly this wasn't quite a game. "The things they say about married women who find their way into the beds of other men? I doubt that this is worth that sort of price."

"And the things they say about the husbands of married women who find their way into the beds of other men?" She tossed her head again, posturing defiance. "Is this about me, Lucius, or about you? What would someone like Nott say, or my cousin Sirius?"

Lucius' jaw worked, clenches. "The opinions of your cousin Sirius mean very little to me." He moved towards her, and his voice dropped. "But I promise you one thing, my dear. If you tell anyone...I'll kill you."

"You'll _kill_ me!" The false, high tinkle of her laugh belied her sudden step back, hand grasping at the doorknob. "What will you do, Lucius, come into my bedroom and whisper an Unforgivable Curse while I sleep? Do you think you can _find_ my bedroom?" Abruptly her eyes turned on Severus. "What makes you think _he_ won't betray you?" she asked shrilly.

Still Lucius did not raise his voice, but he followed Narcissa forward. "Severus would not betray me. I know him too well." He paused a brief moment, then continued darkly, "This is _my_ house. Do you think you can hide from me? Do you think you would be safe if you talked about what happens within these walls? Do not presume to think you know what I would and would not do."

The woman's eyes had not moved, though Lucius was very close to her now, hovering over her. And Severus recognized his look; he knew that Lucius might not be bluffing. But Narcissa continued to study him on the bed through narrowed eyes, making Severus realize that he was in a very dangerous position...for Narcissa might not have been able to strike directly at Lucius, but there was little to stop her from striking at him.

Lucius gaze followed his wife's, fixing on Severus before one eye closed in a conspiratorial wink. "And...should anything happen to Severus?" Lucius paused again and smiled coldly. "I know whom I'd punish first. Now, why don't you go? Find something to keep yourself occupied."

Narcissa smiled as well, but she did not turn to meet her husband's gaze. "I wasn't planning to curse you, Severus," she said in the voice of a gracious hostess -- the same voice in which she greeted him at their parties, to which Severus was certain she hadn't wanted to invite someone from a family as unimportant as his own. "Are you comfortable? You must be cold. Can I get you something to wear, or something to eat?"

"You don't need to get him anything," Lucius snapped, his aggressive step forward betraying his impatience. "Why don't you go buy yourself something."

This, Severus knew, was a mistake. Lucius treated his wife as if money and status were her only concerns, yet she was ambitious and not unintelligent; had Lucius been so inclined, he could have had a true partner in her. Severus had always been urgently grateful that Lucius preferred him -- someone more disposable, perhaps, less essential to the long-term plans of the Malfoy family, and therefore more flexible, worked into his life in the invisible margins.

"Severus?" Narcissa asked again, ignoring Lucius. "Is there anything you would like?" And he knew that he could not disregard her; he had to speak.

"No," he shrugged, "I'm...quite all right."

Lucius glanced at him briefly, then turned back to Narcissa. "There. You see? He's perfectly content. Is there anything else?" The chill in his tone and fury in his eyes made Severus wonder if he should perhaps make a discreet exit as quickly as possible, for even with his wife gone, Lucius was likely to be in a terrible temper, perhaps even to blame Severus for her condemnations.

Still Narcissa did not turn to glance at her husband, nor acknowledge his comment in any way. "If you need anything, anything at all, please tell me," she told Severus, and this time her voice was warmer, her expression sincere. "Because I think we both know that Lucius is not always the most accommodating of men." Her eyes flashed over to Lucius, blazing contempt, and the loathing had not quite left the twist of her mouth when she smiled at Severus.

Severus had no idea what to say to this, nor how to react to it without directing Lucius' anger in his own direction. So he merely gave a little nod, which Lucius glanced at him again just in time to see. But he did not acknowledge it, at least outwardly.

"Goodnight, then, Severus," said Narcissa, smoothing her hands across the expensive fabric of the skirt she wore. Severus realized suddenly that she was dressed to go out, dressed beautifully, and perhaps she had come to the room to collect her husband for a social engagement he had forgotten. Swallowing as she turned her gaze away from him, Severus saw her eyes linger on Lucius for a long moment. When Narcissa was angry, her clear blue eyes turned beady and ferocious, like a hunting owl's.

Lucius studied his wife almost blankly for a moment before he all but pushed her backward through the doorway, closing the door behind her. He strode across the room with his jaw fixed, straightening the covers at the foot of the bed, pulling his robe more securely into place. "I hope that didn't upset you," he said to Severus, too smoothly; his face was a mask, revealing no hint of the rage with which he had faced Narcissa, but also no clue to his present state of mind.

"No more than having your wife walk in on us would normally upset me," replied Severus, slipping from the bed to retrieve his own clothing from where it lay scattered on the floor. Casually he added, "I'm surprised that you threatened her."

Lucius hesitated in his straightening of the room, fixing Severus with an unreadable expression. "You didn't honestly believe her offers of support to you, did you?"

Did he? Over the past few years, he had learned not to trust anything that was said in the Malfoy house. "Perhaps I should go," he suggested instead of answering Lucius' question.

"That is what she wants, you know," Lucius agreed easily, though he turned slightly, letting his hair fall like a curtain between himself and Severus while he dressed. "She will try to have you leave, one way or another. Is that what _you_ want?"

Merlin help him. "No," Severus admitted, "that's not what I want."

"Then what she does is irrelevant." Pushing his hair back, Lucius stepped toward him. He was not smiling, yet his quirking eyebrow and raised chin suggested genuine approval, and he reached out a hand.

Severus couldn't help feeling a bit like an awkward teenager when he accepted the offered clasp. "I suppose you're right." He guessed that it would be a poor idea to try to say anything more. Or, really, to try to think or analyze, because it did not really make sense that Lucius would choose to honor the wishes of Severus Snape over those of his wife.

"Are you with me?" Lucius asked in a quiet, conspiratorial tone. The question could have been intended as anything from a proposition to a demand for loyalty to a veiled threat to Narcissa. There was, however, only one possible response, and Severus found that he had no pride left to swallow as Lucius smiled slowly at him, accepting with a bowed head Severus' unblinking answer:

"Yes."


End file.
